Destiny
by TheGoldenEyes
Summary: Alice had never felt like she did when he turned up, but could she trust him? Jasper was afraid of his own past hurting the people he loved. Will he let himself be happy, and can he escape his own black and dangerous past? All you need is love. AH/AU/OOC
1. Meeting

**A/N: Second fanfic, still about Alice, because I love her. The story is going to be like, two, three or four chapters, I really don't know, but please, do not be disappointed if the next chapters wont be 2,861 words like this one_ without authors note_, because the flashbacks is quite a pair of .  
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**NB: I'm far away from regular updates. But reviews makes the chapters come quicker**

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**Meeting**

I smiled as I looked in the mirror. My newest dress was very beautiful, a stapless dark red silk dress, underneath a layer of delicate black lace, and a shiny band of black silk was tied around my chest, just beneath my breasts, in a big bow. It was looking overly gorgeous.

Actually, it wasn't my dress yet, but it would be as soon as I could get my shiny, black credit card given to the saleswoman. But she was gone for a moment, leaving me to spin and twirl around in front of the mirror, and really appreciate the flow of the silk against my legs.

This was going to take a while.

I'm obsessed with shopping, and I often continue till I fall asleep in either Rosalie's, (my childhood friend and one half of my best friends) or Bella's, (the other half of my best friends and my brother Edwards girlfriend) arms.

I smiled happily at the thought of Edward and Bella, the ultimate sweethearts, my brother and best friend. I was the one who brought them together. I met her at a coincidence, while she was on a very sucky date with some dude called Mike Newton, when I decided that Rose and I would help her. She was looking in all directions but him, trying to find an escape, but she apparently found none. Mike was a fair concurrence to Mr. Verbal Diarrhoea, living next door to Rose, talking 24/7 about his _overly_ nice-looking new car in his garage at home. I let myself flash back a little

"_Bella, wont you eat anything?" he asked suddenly, catching Bella off guard. _

"_Oh, err, no, I'm not feeling... well," she lied, not really convincing. She looked around again and caught my eyes with a pleading look. She sighed and looked down to her plate, Newton just talking again, not even realizing, that she didn't have a good time. I whispered to Rosalie, explaining my plan. Then I turned to face Bella once again, discovering her still looking at us._

"_Bella!" I squealed, bouncing from my seat to hug her fiercely, while whispering "It's okay, we're helping you. I'm Alice and she's Rosalie!"_

_The Newton guy jumped almost two feet in the air, nearly making me laugh, but I remained serious. I had to keep the façade._

"Allie_! __And_Rose_! Long time since, huh?" she grinned, her eyes full of gratitude. The nicknames were perfect, to make it look like we've known each other for a long time. I grinned sadly and quickly became serious again. Bella took the hint beautifully, and her smile disappeared slowly._

"_Oh, no, what happened? Is it Marlene?" she said, and shook her head despair. _

_I nodded. I didn't know anyone called Marlene._

"_Yeah, she caught it again. This time it's really hard, I think you need to come with us. She's nearly gone," I answered, making few fake tears to well up._

"_No, Allie, that's horrible! I'll come with you, I have to say goodbye,"she nearly cried, "Mike, I have to go, don't be mad, she's just such a good friend, I _have_ to say goodbye,"_

_He nodded, afraid to do anything else. Rose let her arm rest around Bella's shoulder, and we all, despite Mike, hurried out the door, into my pretty baby, my yellow Porsche. Bella gasped and shook her head. As soon as we were around the nearest corner, we started laughing. I had to pull into the shoulder, trying to avoid wrecking the car as I laughed like I've never laughed before._

_When a few minutes had passed, we were able to sit straight and I drove us all to my apartment, promising Bella that I would drive her home. We tried to avoid any eye contact. It made us all laugh and giggle again._

When I was back in the present, still twirling a little in the pretty, pretty dress I remembered Edwards friend Emmetts birthday party where both Bella and Rose found their soulmates.

_Emmetts birthday party was tonight, and even though we just met Bella a week ago, we were taking her to the party, to introduce her to everyone. She was already a part of me and my life, and I could feel Edward would like her. A lot, even. And my feelings of things would often be true, even if he growled at me every time I mentioned how they would be perfect for each other at the end of the week. I think I mentioned it a few times too many. _

_The whole Saturday was reserved to shopping for dresses. I wouldn't let Bella come in one of her 'dresses__', as she said she had. I had already improved her style of fashion and her liking of shopping a lot, and then she thought I would let her come in one of her old dresses?! _

_It was the only time she came with an idea like that. Giggle._

_When we got home to my place after the shopping, we started the whole make-up and hair-thing, making Bella choke again. I didn't get it. There were only four hours left!_

_When I was done with Bella, she was so stunning. Her brown eyes seemed deeper with the mascara, her hair bouncing in loose curls down to her waist, while I took a few strands from over her ears and tucked them back to the back of her head with a little golden buckle. She gaped at herself a little, but insisted that no one would be looking at her with me and Rosalie around. Again, I didn't get it. Edward was going to fall. Hard._

_I was right. He nearly fainted when he saw her, running his hand through his bronze-coloured hair and popping his bright green eyes wide. I couldn't help but snicker, and Edwards eyes were glued to her the rest of the party, letting no one but himself dance with her. She didn't object, especially not when he kissed her passionately later._

_They weren't the only ones making out. Not very surprising, after the flirting hello, I found Rose and Emmett very, um, busy... Yeah, I was quite alone that night, but it doesn't matter. The joy afterwards was worth a couple of hours alone._

I couldn't help but grin a very big grin as I snaked out of the red silk and black lace dress. The two couples were still in function, now half a year later. They were all four of them so sweet, but I felt a little like the third, well, fifth wheel. I wanted a boyfriend too. I was hoping to find anyone soon, because Bella was moving out of our apartment.

Bella and I soon found out, that I was living quite close to her work, so when Rosalie already lived on her own a couple of streets away, Bella moved in with me. It was nice and easy, and it worked out well. But of course, when she and Edward passed the critical half year mark, they wanted to live together. Rose wasn't as cautious as Bella, so she already lived with Emmett. Can anyone see my problem?

So, that was my reason to go shopping for a nice dress. They were throwing a party to celebrate Bella moving in. And I loved any reason to go shopping. So, I loved them.

My phone started buzzing, and as soon as the song began, I knew who it was.

_The world is a vampire..._

I grabbed it before the song came any further and said slurred, "Hey baby,"

Bella's well-known giggle bursted out of the phone.

"Hi Pixie, just wanted to know if you found any dresses? I've found mine, and it's overly perfect! It's a pale..." she babbled exited. I understood her. This were her _dress_ to the _party_ marking her _moving in_ with her _boyfriend_, my _brother_. How many times she had squealed that at me, I didn't remember, but it was getting a little tiresome.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell me at Mi Casa, the pizza place in 10, okay? And I've found my dress," I interrupted and threw my bright yellow button-up on, already in my jeans. The saleswoman tapped lightly at the swinging doors, and I slipped the dress and my sleek, black credit card out of the dressing room. She took the things and walked away.

"Ooh, nice, and Jasper just called! He's coming, Alice, all the way from Los Angeles to New York, can you believe it? And he's doing it all for me, because we promised each other when we were teenagers in Forks, that we would do that kind of stuff, and I'm so exited to see him again! I haven't seen him for, what... "she paused, obviously counting her fingers, "three years! Oh, God, that's along time. But he told me, that maybe, he would be looking for apartments here! And jobs! And he's doing it for me, I'm so exited..."

When she started to repeat herself, I cut the line, hoping she would discover it in time to meet.

It felt a little weird, not having Rose by my side to complain to, but she told she already had the perfect dress and shoes, but I think it was mostly because Emmett was in the playful mood. Disgusting.

I was at Mi Casa a little early, but I used the time to order a pizza and two cokes while waiting for Bella.

She came nearly running, her cheeks flushed, looking like a thunderstorm.

"Why did you hang up on me? I was in the middle of telling you some important stuff!" she wailed, but couldn't stop smiling.

"You started repeating yourself. I don't count that as important," I answered with a smile, letting her know that I didn't hold any grudges. She grinned back.

"So, just before I called you, Jasper called me. He told that he was coming this afternoon on a quick-ticket, you know, these cheap ones? Oh, I guess you found out how happy I became, I just love him! Like a brother, right? He's like a brother to me, really. When I was in high scool up in gloomy Forks, he was my best friend and brother, and he still is. God, I miss him, he's so understanding, it's like he knows your feelings immediately, anywhere. He always knew when something was wrong back in Forks, and just being with happy him made me happy. And he's such a gentleman, and he has a slight accent from his childhood in Texas, and he's obsessed with the Civil War, he teaches in History, he has mesmerizing blue eyes, honey gold hair, and he's tall, very tall, like 6' 4'' or something. You're 4' 10'', right? So, he's 1' 6'' taller than you, wow, that's much," she babbled on while showing exactly how tiny I was. Great.

"Bella, eat your pizza and show me your dress. I'm really looking forward to meet this Jasper..." I trailed off suggestive.

"Whitlock," she responded.

"I'm really looking forward to meet this Jasper Whitlock, but if he want me to know which colour of socks he wore in his senior year, I think he should tell me himself,"

Bella giggled.

"I think you two would get along well, even despite the hight difference. Ooo, sorry," she said when I shot her an angry look, looking anything else but sorry, "You have just the right kind of humour."

She eyed me weirdly, then her eyes glazed over a little and she tapped her index finger wondering against her lips. This was getting on my nerves.

"You said he's coming this afternoon?" I asked, trying to maintain some dignity. Luckily, she snapped out of her trance, but then she blushed.

"Err, I sort of promised him a place to stay, okay? And since you're the only one that's, err, living alone since, err, last weekend when I moved, I sort of said he could stay in my old room," she rushed panicky.

"Oh, well okay, he seems like a good guy, so I guess that's okay?" I said, knowing she never would let her best friends suffer. Not me, not him. She wouldn't have offered it, if she wasn't entirely sure that we would like each other. "How long is he going to stay? I just need to know if I should crave money for cooking him any food," I explained.

"I actually don't know. He told me he was growing to big for LA, so maybe until he finds an apartment," she shrugged.

"Okay, but when is his plane landing?"

She looked at her watch.

"Of my God! It's landing in 15 minutes! And we're 20 minutes away from the airport!" she wailed.

I took her hand.

"It's a good thing my car is fast,"

--

We reached LaGuardia Airport in nine minutes, as my bright yellow Porsche 911 _turbo_ wove through the traffic. I couldn't help myself but kiss the hood when we leaved it to go and get Jasper.

Now, I was actually a little anxious to meet my new 'roomie'(We weren't going to share a room, but an apartment, but Bella had always called us 'roomies'). Just before we pulled up to the parking lot, Bella called him. All I could hear was this deep bass voice, sounding like it belonged to a overly gorgeous man. Yummy.

Bella tripped in her hurry to get in the big building. I laughed.

"I thought that was an old habit from your younger days?" I grinned at her.

She scowled at me, raising her fist in mock anger.

"It was. I just feel like I'm seventeen again, Jasper does that to me," she grumbled.

We waited for what seemed like ten minutes, until a bored lady's voice informed us about that the plane from Los Angeles was going to be late.

"Ugh," she huffed.

And we waited. And waited, waited and waited.

Then suddenly, about an hour later, without warning, making me jump, Bella squealed.

"JASPER!"

She took off like a bullet from a gun, running straight into the arms of a very high man with a mane of a little bit too long, slightly curled, golden hair. He laughed loudly in the deep voice, I heard in the car, picking her up like a doll, and swung her around in big circles.

"Bella!" he yelled, taking no care to lower his voice because her ear was closer. She continued squealing like a kid.

I walked slowly closer, afraid to interrupt the perfect moment of reunion. When he eventually stopped swinging her around, after five or six rounds, he just squeezed her tight, keeping her so high up that her feet almost swayed a whole foot above the ground.

I was about five yards away, he sat her down again, and her squealing became giggles. She breathed heavily in and out once, and her eyes sobered up a little.

"Have you waited for long, darlin'?" he said in the beautiful, deep bas voice, catching the Southern twang in his voice.

Swoon.

"I think we waited about an hour? It doesn't matter to me. You're here now," she said and gave his waist a hug. He squeezed lightly back

Then she turned to me.

"Oh, yeah, this is Alice, the girl I've been talking about. She's your 'roomie' until, and if, you find another apartment. Be nice and say hello," she teased him.

"What a tiny lady, and then again, I haven't met anyone more lady. Except Mama Whitlock," Jasper mumbled low. I wasn't sure it was meant for me to hear, so I didn't answer. I couldn't.

As I reached out to shake his hand, he grabbed it, bowed slightly over it and pressed his velvety lips against my knuckles, still looking me in the eyes.

Bella was right. He _had _absolutely mesmerizing icy blue eyes. They just weren't cold, they were very, very warm.

His disheveled, golden hair looked like it only had been combed with his fingers throughout the last year, the tangles revealing millions of different shades, from dark golden-bronze to nearly white. The urge to run my fingers through it was for a short second unbearable, making my hand twitch before I got a hold on myself.

His whole face was flawless, from his long nose to those perfect, velvet lips of his, still hovering an inch over my hand. His warm breath swept across my hand, leaving goose bumps all the way up my arm. The warmth of his fingers spread through my whole body.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," I said watching him straighten up, _God, he's awfully tall_, barely succeeding to contain the light tremble in my voice. He kissed my hand once again.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," he answered, being the perfect gentleman.

And he was going to be my 'roomie' for an unspecific period of time.

Bad. Very bad.

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	2. Talking

**A/N: OMG! This is amazing!** People actually like my story(:

I've got 3 reviewers, dude, that's _AWEsome! _I wasn't expecting anyone at all for at least three days!

Thanks a lot to OptimisticBee, Karkoolka and myworld299 for being my first reviewers EVER! I love you (:

_Please read A/N for chapter one if you expect regular updates. Thanks._

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**Talking**

The conversation flowed easily at dinner. All the awkwardness I felt around Jasper vanished quickly, allowing me to speak to him, and getting to know him.

After I heard him laugh the first time in the LaGuardia Airport, everything I wanted was to hear it again. And I did, several times, throughout the evening hear his deep laugher. It was just Bella, him and I, eating and bonding, them catching up for the last three years. Of course had they been in touch, calling each other, but I could feel this was different, and I had a good time hearing them telling all the teenage stories from high school again.

"Do you remember that time you got so furious, you tried to beat me up with that stick? I still got the scar, you know," he said, clutching his lower stomach in mock pain.

"It was your own fault! It was _you _that told half the school, that I was dating the jerk, Alex," she shot blushingly back, making me giggle and Jasper roared with laugher.

I got a little suspicious when I eyed his midnight blue suitcase. There was one, only one.

"Where are your other suitcases?" I asked with narrowed eyes.

"I don't have any other than this one," he said, pointing at the suitcase.

I felt my jaw drop, happy that I wasn't chewing on Bella's lasagne any more. That would have been pretty disgusting. He looked confused at me. Bella laughed.

"I've warned you, Jasper, she's shopaholic. She never goes anywhere without at least three suitcases," she said grinning.

"Bella, we were in Italy for nearly a _week! _Of course I would bring at least three," I stated, rolling my eyes at her.

Jasper's turn at the jaw-dropping. Nice.

"Don't look at me that way. I came home with six,"

_Bonk! _His forehead slammed against the table.

"No no no, that's too much! Save my petty head," he groaned mockingly and turned his head to face me, "Six?"

"Do you have a problem with that? By the way, with the party tomorrow, and your _one _suitcase, I'm going to take you with me shopping," I growled.

A wicked sparkle lit up his beautiful blue eyes when he sat up. Bella obviously knew his gesture, and started to raise her hand to stop him, but he was quicker. He growled right back, reached across the table and poked me in the stomach.

I glared at him with his bright, boyish grin.

"You didn't?!" I wailed.

"Yes I did!" he yelled impishly

"Revenge. You don't know me."

Bella looked worried as I smiled evilly at her.

"No, please don't! Alice, no, _please_. He's just moved here, for God's sake. Let him settle a little!" she cried, but she knew she was going nowhere. I already knew what I would do.

"You can plead, you can cry. You know it doesn't work," I said as I smiled even wider.

Jasper looked confused.

"What? Should I be afraid?" he asked worried.

"Terrified."

"Oops. Sorry, Bella, but she wont get me, I promise,"he said, grinning his big, boyish grin again. Bella rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh, she will, trust me. She will," she said, raising to take our plates and walked to the kitchen.

"I can handle her," he yelled after her. I just grinned evilly at him as I caught his eyes.

He didn't know how frightened I was of thunderstorms. He didn't know how I used to cling to Bella, even in sleep. And, as if the weather wanted to tease him, I'd heard that there was a building storm in sight. Tee Hee. At least I was going to finally use the cute chemise Rosalie once gave me. It was going to kill him.

I opened my mouth to tell him justhow afraid he should be when a loud knock on the door interrupted me.

"Here comes the lucky boy," I mumbled to Jasper.

"It's Edward? I thought..." he wondered.

"He's picking Bella up, they already live with each other. I'm the only lonely," I babbled out before I could stop, blushing deep red.

He smiled and snaked an arm around my waist.

"Not any longer."

I looked up at him, realizing for the millionth time how tall he was. He had a spark in his eyes again, but not the wicked one. He squeezed me lightly before letting me go, and I missed the warm arm around me in an instant. Oh God. I was so confused by the stinging feeling left across the small of my back.

"Edward!" Bella greeted him, breaking my trance. I tore myself from Jaspers eyes in time to see her hugging my brother like they haven't seen in weeks, but I didn't miss the slight blush on Jaspers cheeks. Interesting.

"Bella," Edward mumbled into her hair with closed eyes. I knew he loved the smell of her hair, he told me once, so I could continue buying her strawberry-scented shampoo. He was so cute.

I could feel Jasper frown, even though I didn't touch him. He caught my eye and raised his left eyebrow in a quizzical way. I smiled. It was probably because we didn't look like each other.

_Later, _I mouthed and he nodded curiously.

We stood as Bella and Edward untangled themselves, heading in our direction. I smiled broadly and my dear brother grinned back.

"Hey Pixie," he teased.

"Hey _Eddie,_" I teased right back as he ruffled my short, inky hair and rolled his eyes.

"Don't call me that," he said and turned to Jasper.

"Hi, I'm Jasper, I'm like Bella's brother, nice to meet you," Jasper said a little reluctant.

"I'm Edward – Bella's boyfriend. Nice to meet you too, finally. She has told a lot of stories from your high school-time together," Edward said then, but didn't relax when they shook hands.

"What's wrong with you two? Behave. You're not gorillas fighting for territory," I said angrily, "I've seen both of you behave normally, and I'm sure you would be great friends."

Edward whipped his head to look at me, then grinned.

"If Alice says so..." he trailed off and relaxed. Jasper seemed puzzled at first, but Edwards reaction made him relax too, and he started laughing.

"You're right. We're not competing on anything," he grinned, and his shift in moods again seemed to rule the atmosphere in the room, making it light, and we all joined him laughing.

"Well, Alice, you can show Jasper around and tell him what he needs to know. I'll be going now, see ya tomorrow. Alice, I expect you yo be at our place an hour early. We need someone who's got check on it all. Love you," Bella said, kissed us on our cheeks and left with Edward.

"Uhm, yeah," I mumbled, "I guess I should show you the apartment."

I lead the way though the kitchen he already had seen, showing him where the main thing stood, like cups, bowl and plates, coffee, dishwasher and all that. Then I showed him the living room, _my _sofa, and telling him that his time on earth would be shortened a lot if he took my seat, especially in the morning. He grinned at me, his big, boyish grin lightening up the whole room. I couldn't help but smile back.

"It's quite a big apartment. It has two bathrooms, three bedrooms and separate kitchen and living room," I said. Jasper responded with a widening of his eyes.

"Be happy for the two-bathrooms-thing, I tend to use a lot time in there," I said teasingly.

"Figures," he mumbled, wincing as I slapped his upper arm, "Ouch."

I giggled.

He was making me feel like a giddy teenage girl once again. He was so funny and smart and handsome. As I showed him the door to my room, his room and the last bathroom, 'his' bathroom, yet not the inside, I concentrated more on his body than his face this time. Not that the teenage-girl-feeling disappeared.

He was so tall and lean and anything but weak. He had removed the light grey, long sleeved button-up to reveal a dark reddish-grey t-shirt that clung to the skin of his chest, so I easily take in the defined muscles. His plain dark jeans hung low on his hips, but never too low, showing just a little of his black boxers. Delicious.

"So, this is your new room," I explained, slightly blushing as he stepped inside with his suitcase.

He looked around, seeming pleased with what he found. The room was square, light and big, a huge bed in the corner beneath the window, and an antique desk from the eighteen hundred fifties in the other corner. Jasper let his fingers caress the dark mahogany lightly.

"How old is this?" he asked suddenly, turning to discover me standing in the doorway staring at him.

"Err, eighteen fifties? Ask Bella, it was hers," I answered, blushing again. Hope it didn't became a habit.

"I imagine. You haven't changed her so much,"

"Changed her?" Was he saying we were bad company?

"Yeah, She's changed. She's more grown-up of course, but she's not so shy any longer. And she's happy," he said slowly, sitting on the edge of his new bed, "Wow, it's comfortable."

I grinned shortly at his remark about the bed, but was quickly serious again. This wasn't a light topic.

"I know. Just in the six months we've known her, she's changed. She don't blush and look like she'll die if you say 'bra' in public places any more, like she did once. It was funny though,"

He grinned, lightening the room up again, like in the living room. He was so beautiful, and I felt a weird urge to push him down on the bed and kiss him senseless, and feel his long, lean fingers roam across my back...

Oops. I realized his deep voice was talking to _me_.

"... but she's been calling me nearly every week instead of once a month the last half year, 'because,' she says, 'there's always something going on here, there's always happening some exiting things'. And she told about you, and Rosalie, and how nice you were at that date with the Mike-guy, rescuing her. And her new boyfriend, your brother, and his friend Emmett -"

" - The big guy -" I mumbled at the same time as he said it, making him grin,

" - Rosalie's boyfriend, and I really think I could live here, with you, Bella and her other new friends. And she's so happy that I'm back in her life in other ways than on the phone. And I'm happy too. And I'm going to meet her new friends and family tomorrow. And, God, I say 'and' a lot. But you can see what I mean, right? She's my sister – we shared blood," he explained, showing the small scar on his wrist, "We wanted to keep contact forever. We vowed that we never would forget each other. And the weirdest thing -" he looked wondering at the scar, "- I can feel how she is. I got a feeling once, that I needed to call her, even though it just had been days since she called, and I called, only to discover she had been fighting with Edward."

"Oh, yeah. The Great Fight of March," I said, "She once got totally in panic, called you, and you were in hospital. She was shopping with me. It's like those freakish twins. Surreal, right?"

We talked for a long time. We rearranged ourselves after a little time, because he, as the gentleman he was, noticed that I was awkwardly standing to the doorway. He waved me over, pulling me up to sit beside him in the bed, leaning to the wall behind us.

I learned a lot of things about him. He was 28, two years older than me, the same age as Edward, he loved blackcurrant and coffee, Bella was his first kiss, but it had been _very_ awkward afterwards, that he preferred grey socks, they didn't look dirty after 10 minutes, that he hated to live in Los Angeles, but still lived there for five years, that he got his hair cut quite often to keep the ruffled look, that he knew a little tae kwon do, that he went to the fitness regularly and that he'd never had a true girlfriend.

I told him a lot too. I was 26, of course, the same age as Rosalie and Bella, I loved shopping, apple pie and coffee like him, I couldn't make a day without, that my first kiss had been a boy in public school I didn't even remember the name of, that I preferred high heels over flats, mostly because my hight -

"Or rather lack of, I should say," I grumbled, earning a deep, throaty laugh.

"No, it's perfect," he whispered, making me blush _again_.

... that I loved being here, in the Apple, as you can say, or NY, New York, and had been living here my whole life, that I was actually adopted, my mother Esme became unable to have any kids after Edward, but still wanted some, so that explained why we didn't look like each other.

He was far more gorgeous that me. He was tall, but not as tall as Jasper, had naturally coppery brown hair, always looking like he just got out of bed, and he was well muscled. The most beautiful about him was his grass green eyes, always twinkling in a special way when he looked at Bella.

I was tiny, just 4' 10'', no way near Jaspers 6' 3'' tall frame. I was thin, had inky black hair cut in a nearly boyish short haircut, pointing in all directions. My eyes were a silvery grey, my nose straight and my lips full. The only thing that kept people from believing I was twelve years old was my breasts, a little bigger than usual for my statue, and my face.

Jasper was, for me, the most perfect man I've ever seen. His eyes was that special blue colour, seen nowhere but in his eyes, his long straight nose nearly feminine, but matched all to well by his square, very masculine jaw. His lips were perfectly balanced between being too full and too thin, looking overly kissable. He smelled like the blackcurrant he loved and... man. He smelled manly. Thick musk and warmth. Yummy.

"What are you looking at? You've been looking at me for a couple of minutes now," he suddenly said. I jumped and blushed a bright tomato red, looking at my hands at my lap.

"Err, I guess I'm just tired. It's two o'clock, you know," I mumbled a little dazed.

"Right,"he answered sarcastically.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Jasper," I said and yawned.

He helped me up from the far too comfortable bed and kissed my hand tentative.

"Thanks," I whispered, suddenly overwhelmed with tiredness, my knees buckling under me as I tried to stand. Jasper caught me in time.

"I think I'll help you,"

I took a pair of wobbly paces supported by him, but I couldn't walk. My legs wouldn't bear me. Jasper sighed.

"Why didn't you say you were tired long ago?" he asked rhetorically.

"I wasn't," I blurred, trying to make sense of up and down, when the ground disappeared.

"Ouf," I panted, snuggling closer to his broad chest and enjoying being carried bridal style for a while. I felt completely warm and didn't want to ever let go. I could feel the hard muscles through the thin cotton of his t-shirt, his sudden intake of breath when I breathed slowly against his neck. His arms were around me...

I floated off to sleep safely in his strong arms.

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**A/N: I'll start writing third chapter now.  
**The story may be longer than I thought, there's just so many things I wanted to be in the story!  
I wasn't expecting this chapter to be nearly as long as the first, but the words just kept comin' ;)

Like freaking_ 2,704 words without authors note._ And _14,242 letters._ This is getting painful for my fingertips.

Oh, and the rating might go up with the next few chapters... ! I keep imagining Jasper without a shirt. Yummyness.

**REVIEW PLEASE. I'M ADDICTED.  
...to cookies, but that doesn't matter.**


	3. Dreams

**A/N: Alice is dreaming.** Sorry, it's short, but I wanted to tell what she dreamt.

_Eight reviews!_ 'You crazy? Thanks to OptimisticBee and Karkoolka for stayin' with me (:

(Oh, if you want to ask the same as the anonymous "fanfic addict" I can't wait to write that. I'm giggling all the time, thinking about it, but I have to write the other chapters first.

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**Dreams**

_We sat by the beach, our hands entwined. The sun was setting, making his hair look even more golden. A strange happy feeling washed over me as I watched him looking at our friends playing in the sand before us. This was perfect, life was perfect._

_Nothing bad could reach me now._

_Bella squealed and clutched the slight bulge on her stomach. A big diamond ring weighed down the finger on the left hand and she looked adoringly at my utterly happy brother. He just got the news today and he was so ecstatic. And a little afraid that he wouldn't do his job right, but I knew he would. He would be the most loving father ever known, maybe only overruled by our father Carlisle. Their future was set and it was all good._

_Rosalie wasn't pregnant, but married and equally happy. Her and Emmett rolled around in the sand, and I couldn't help but think she was going to be pregnant soon. They were ready for it, and I felt a smile forming on my lips at the thought of Rose and kids. No one other than her five best friends, us at the beach, knew how much she loved babies. She looked like a real drama queen to others, only fixated on her career, but it wasn't true, certainly not. Emmett would also make a fair concurrence to Edward in the Best Dad-competition. He was so kind, but still wild, and to his very core just a kid trapped in a man's body. His future son would live in Heaven._

_I saw Jasper looking at me, so I turned and kissed him on the cheek. He returned it by kissing our still entwined hands and the simple golden band around my finger. It still felt a little weird, because it was just placed there and the others didn't know yet. His pants were still wet, from when he knelt down just an hour ago where the waves splashed at the beautiful white sand._

_I felt like squealing at Rose and Bella, but this was a piece of the silent happiness. So I just looked back at Jasper, silently thanking Bella for bringing him to me._

_It was a dream and I knew. I did not remember why we'd come here and what we got for dinner two hours ago. But this knowledge didn't break the happiness, it only made it bigger._

_Because, sometimes, dreams come true._

_

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**A/N: I, most likely, won't update tomorrow. My brother is moving out(finally), and I have to help.** But, I'm writing right now, and maybe, it'll get done tonight.

**_Puh-leeze_** review. It makes me happy and happy me equals more updates.


	4. Scars

**A/N: So, you got an update today**. I guess I can't stop writing, and I just get more and more ideas of what could happen in future chapters. This story is going to be a lot longer than I thought.

If you don't like that it'll be longer, I'm sorry. But I disagree with you. I love long stories.

OMG?! 15 reviews, 9 favorites and none less than 12 alerts! I'm a happy girl (:

Oooo, watch out, fluffy-puffy ahead!!

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**Scars**

I felt myself resurface from the deep sleep. I really didn't want to. I dreamt a lot of happy dreams. Dreams about Jasper, but not sexy dreams. Okay, they were sexy, Jasper was in them, but we didn't do anything. We just talked and kissed a little, looking at each other with smiling eyes. Like a happily married couple. I smiled and snuggled deeper into the bed, trying to keep the warm spot in my stomach big.

I remembered last night dimly. The feeling of being warm and safe was the most powerful, almost overshadowing the feeling of his chest against my side. Almost.

I missed him by my side. It was like he was made to be there, fitting effortlessly with all the perfectness and the small quirks of his, I learned about last night. He had been so afraid to tell about his wild aversion to spiders, not sure if I would laugh. He was so sweet, glancing worried up at me through his eyelashes. The sight made all the urges to even smile at it go away. He had been so unsure of himself. I had just taken his hand and squeezed lightly. After that, he'd willingly told nearly everything about himself.

A low clattering sounded from the kitchen. It sounded like he was finding some mugs for coffee. _He better make enough for me,_ I thought, _Coffee's a gift from God. Like Jasper._

I groaned. Having him as a roomie didn't get easier if I got a crush on him. But, looking back at my dreams once again, it was pretty late to figure that out.

"Great," I huffed out loud slowly stretching, and glanced at the clock on the bedside table.

I screamed. _10:27?!_ Shit, shit, shit! I was already late, before even starting. I, _we_, had to do some shopping, hopefully finding a nice shirt to Jasper. And maybe one or two casual sets, since he only had _one_ suitcase. Damnit.

Stumbling around to find myself a decent set of clothes, I cursed myself from sleeping so long at a so important day.

Jasper! He should have waken me. But still, I think I would've been angry at him for stopping my dreams. I felt myself swim a little with the sudden wave of happiness from the dreams. I knew that would keep me happy for a long time.

Breaking out of the slight haze, I eventually found some clothes. A pair of slim, blackened jeans and a white v-neck, cotton t-shirt with a large, golden print on it, saying "Life is like candy – Enjoy it". Easygoing and still fashionable.

I tip-toed to the bathroom in my silken bathrobe, not wanting to disturb Jasper. I showered quickly, being momentarily relaxed by the familiar scent of mint chocolate. I didn't really want to get in my clothes, feeling unusually lazy, but I did. I tousled my still-wet hair a little, sighing and leaving the bathroom and putting the old clothes in the basket.

My ears caught a low humming, a deep bass rumbling in the kitchen. It sounded like an old song. I went to the door, leaning against the doorway with my arms crossed casually in front of my chest.

"'Morning, Jazz," I said, and then... nothing. I froze completely at the sight in front of me.

"Jazz?" he asked grinning widely as he turned to me, having no idea of what was going on inside my head.

He stood at the sink, rinsing his cup, barefoot and clad in nothing but a pair of pyjama pants, cut just below his knee. His tanned, muscular chest was totally mouthwatering, giving me a long, perfect look as he turned, the muscles in his arms rippling as he sat down the now clean cup. I snapped my mouth shut before I started drooling.

Then I discovered the long, pale lines all over his chest, shoulders and arms. Scars. I stepped closer, tracing one across his shoulder, all the way down to his navel, with my fingertip. He winced and took a step back. I felt how he grew distant.

"W-what are these?" I whispered frightened, but stepped with him, and reached out to trace another. He grabbed my wrist fiercely.

"Scars," he said angrily, but he wasn't angry at me. He was angry at those people that made them. He shoved me away quickly, making me stumble into the kitchen counter, and nearly ran out and smacked the door to his room. I was left back, my mind filled with the images of the scars al over his upper body, some faint, some big. The next image that popped into my head made me cry.

_Jasper, laying on the ground bleeding, all the scars open wide. The blood pulsing through the deep gash, witch healed was the one I traced._

The tears fell uncontrollably. It felt like I had all the scars, the pain piercing through my heart, making me gasp for air. I sat down with the counter against my back, pulling my knees up to my chest and hid my face in my hands. I didn't want to see, but I still saw the raw image in my mind even if I closed my eyes.

A pair of strong arms lifted me up and pressed me against Jaspers broad chest. I felt him walk to the living room, placing us at the sofa and cradled me on his lap. The tears still rolled down my cheeks as I sobbed. He hushed me with a caring tone in his deep voice.

"Sch, I'm sorry, so sorry," he whispered, sounding truly worried and sorry.

Why did he apologize? It wasn't his fault, it was those bastards who made all of his scars. I hated them. Hated them for harming my Jasper. Hated them for making him believe it was_ his_ fault. A picture of him, clad in a torn t-shirt showing all the deep gashes on his skin flashed through my mind. The white shirt was coloured a shocking crimson along the ripped cloth. A big guy leaning over Jaspers lean form at the ground, carrying a red-spotted, long knife. I cried even more and shook with violent trembles, trying to contain the scream of pain building in my chest. It hurt _so much_ to look at, that picture of Jasper in pain.

I gripped his light green shirt tightly, nearly ripping it, and hid my face by his neck. He just held me closer and rocked soothingly from side to side, still mumbling sorry.

"Why do you keep saying that?" I sobbed into his neck. He trembled slightly.

"Because I am. I shouldn't have been so rough. I just don't want to think about it," he whispered, resting his chin in my damp hair. What?

We sat still for a couple of minutes as I slowly relaxed again, and stopped crying. I sighed tiredly, snuggling closer to him and slipped my arms around his neck. He responded with a tightening of his arms around me. I pulled myself closer, letting his personal scent wash over my senses. Blackberries and _man. _He was the distillation of yummyness.

"Why are _you_ sorry? It wasn't you who made," - I paused and traced a scar, showing just an inch above his collar, dangerously near the big vein in the neck - "these," I ended slowly and pulled back to look at his face. He seemed confused.

"You're not crying because of me? You're crying because someone did this to me?" he asked incredulously.

"Why would I cry because of you?" I asked, losing myself a little in his blue eyes.

He looked away, ashamed.

"I thought I had hurt you, being so rough and shoving you into the counter. I thought you cried because I was so mean to you," he said in a small voice, always looking down.

I placed each of my hands on the sides of his face, lifting it up to catch his eyes. He looked at me with burning eyes, widening them a little.

"Jasper, I would never, ever be mad or angry at you for something others had done. This is _not your fault_. Don't blame yourself, when it were those who made your scars, who made me cry," I whispered fiercely and kissed the showing scar on his neck above his collar and lay my cheek to it.

I felt him take a sudden intake of breath. I trembled as he leaned down and his breath tickled the hair above my ear. The way he held me... changed. His fingers spread wide, almost covering my entire back. One of his fingers, I didn't know witch, I didn't care, began rubbing slow circles between my shoulder blades and I skimmed my nose across his hidden collarbone in response, breathing in his heady scent.

He turned me, so instead of sitting with my side against his chest, I was now straddled on his lap. His big, lean hands caressed my back and arms, leaving trails of fire. I slid my hands from his face, down his neck in an airy way, causing a shiver to run down his spine, to settle at his chest. His hands on my lower back pulled me closer, and lay his forehead against mine, looking at me through his lashes. I closed my eyes, breathing heavily and moved closer, inch by inch.

_Riiiiiiing! Ring-ring-riing! _

The doorbell broke through our trance, and I pulled back abruptly and looked blushing down.

"I'm coming!" I yelled, making Jasper jump once more. I stood up and then slowly reached out to put a finger on his slightly open lips. His eyes was burning wild and his breathing was heavy. Just like mine.

"Don't say anything," I whispered.

He nodded slowly and kissed my fingertip. I leaved him then, walking swiftly to the entrée, and looked quickly in the mirror to pull myself together a bit.

My hair was wild, my t-shirt crumbled and my eyes a bit red-rimmed. My fingers trembled as I reached to smooth my shirt. I ran my fingers through my hair and took a steadying breath when the doorbell sounded again.

_Riiiiiing-ring-ring-ring!_

"I said _I'm coming!"_ I yelled and threw the door open to face...

Emmett.

What? He was alone. Weird. He and Rose always came here together, only not in the Thursdays, those were girl-days, but he was looking embarrassed too. Emmett was never embarrassed over _anything._

"Err, hi," he said, unsure of himself and a bit worried of my obvious bad mood.

"Hi Em, I just haven't had my coffee yet, don't be afraid," I grumbled, waving him inside. He grinned, seeming assured.

"What's the matter with you, haven't had your coffee at eleven o'clock a Saturday morning? You should be -"

He cut off abruptly at the sight of Jasper standing in the doorway, leaning to the door frame with his arms folded across his chest. Emmett was at first surprised, but only a second later, his face split in half in a huge impish grin.

"Oooh, I see why you're upset at me and haven't had your coffee at eleven o'clock a Sunday morning. I'll just, err, go home again, I just wanted some advise, but it can wait," he said, grinning like mad and started backing out the door slowly. I smacked it with a loud bang, Emmett nearly getting his petty ass cut off.

"Emmett, I want you to meet Jasper, Bella's best friend from high school, who's coming to the party tonight. He's living here till he finds something else," I said in dangerously low tone. Emmett looked frightened at me and pointed at the kitchen door.

"You. Go make coffee. Now," he huffed, Jasper raising an eyebrow.

"I know her better than you do," Em mumbled to him as I stalked into the kitchen and poured a large cup of coffee and threw myself at a chair.

"She's taking it black, it means she's _very_ upset," he continued to whisper loudly to Jasper, who looked a lot like a person on the edge of laughing. But still, behind the eyes, I could see the pain.

"Shut up, Em. Don't you _dare_ to laugh, Jazz," I grumbled, chugging the coffee down in huge gulps.

Emmett burst out laughing. Jasper tried to contain his laugher, but failed miserably. The two big guys stumbled around my kitchen, laughing their asses off. I couldn't _not_ laugh of them, as they had to hold on to each other to prevent falling. My high soprano laugh wove through their deep basses, making a beautiful disharmony. What a way to start the day.

When we'd got a bit more normal, and could actually talk again, Jazz and Em took some coffee too, and sat down by me.

"So, whatcha' problem, Em? To what, exactly, do you need my advise?" I asked, waiting for the big grin that didn't come. He blushed a little instead. What was wrong with him?

"I need your advise, because obviously, you're the most fashionable of my friends, and I need something nice and pretty, and -" He started, but I interrupted.

"Jeez, Em, just tell me. Us,"I corrected after receiving a glare from Jasper.

"I wanna' pick out a proposal ring for Rosie," he mumbled and blushed furiously again.

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**A/N: Oh, cliffhanger?! **First of mine, that's nice ;) I'll keep on writing if you keep on reviewing!

so, _**please!!**__** REVIEW!**_


	5. Shopping

**A/N: I'm so sorry for leaving you without an update after the cliffie in chap. 4 - Scars. **It literally pained me. So, here you are, the next **very, very** exiting chapter. It's a little longer, 'cause I thought it would be a fair pay-back from leaving you like that last chapter.

Reviewers - Thanks a lot!

Remember to review(':

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**Shopping**

I squealed, jumping up and down. Jasper smacked his big hand against Emmett's back, making him huff. I hugged both him and, lost in the pure joy, he hugged me fiercely back and swung me around in big circles laughing.

"You're going to be a married man! She'll say yes!" I yelled happily and he stopped abruptly.

"You think so?" he said, suddenly serious. He really meant it.

"In which world do you live, exactly? She wont even play Rate The Guys any longer, when we sit on out bar after shopping," I grumbled. Emmett widened his eyes and I saw Jaspers eyebrows shoot up, utterly surprised.

"Don't look at me like that. Of course we played that, but Rose just shakes her head, sayin' "Nobody's like Emmett. There's no meaning in looking then". And Bella's just as bad." I mumbled, a little embarrassed by their curious looks. Emmett broke out in a huge smile and kissed me wetly on my forehead.

"Thanks, Alice," He said and squeezed me an extra time before letting me go. He even went as far as hugging Jasper, he just met. Jasper seemed surprised, but grinned and hugged him back in a classic man-hug.

"Hey, have you been weeping? Your shirt is all wet," Emmett said and poked Jasper just above his collarbone. Jaspers hand twitched like he wanted to brace himself, but he kept it hanging down his side.

"N-no, I just spilled some water," he mumbled, a slight blush colouring his cheeks, "I'll go change so we can go shopping."

He slid silently out the kitchen, and as soon he was out of sight, Emmett turned to me.

"Oooh, we've got some here, huh?" he grinned, "He's quite a handful for you. He's tall."

"He's 6' 3'', I said, Emmett's grin growing impish, "And no, he's not a handful for me. He's living here until he finds something else. He lived in Los Angeles before, but heard from Bella – she's his best friend – that there's more fun living here in New York. He wanted to live here, so she offered him to live here until he found his own. Nothing Emmett, nothing has happened!"

I lied at the end, but I wanted to be sure before I told anyone. But, gosh, Jazz was wonderful. He was so gorgeous, and his hair was so sexy. I rather liked the difference, not only in height, but in _size._ He was so big compared to me, tall, lean, but still very muscled. I remembered how his long fingers had nearly covered my entire back. How his eyes had burned...

"Aliiiice, you're so into this guy, your eyes is like glazed over when you speak of him. Come on, you have to be seeing it yourself," Emmett whispered and grinned like mad.

"Shut up, Em. Since when have you been able to read me?"

"I'm right then? 'Cause there's certainly something from his side. He wouldn't stop looking at you, just before," he said and whistled.

"I said s_hut UP!_" I yelled just as Jazz came back. Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Hey, calm down, I haven't said anything," Jasper said grinning innocently. I was immediately calmed down by his strange ability to affect the moods around him. I smiled.

"Em's just a jerk," I explained reassuringly. Jazz nodded.

"I've caught so much," he answered and padded the mockingly offended Emmett on the back.

"No offence, dude, but everybody keep saying it."

Emmett smiled a little. He was such a kid.

"I know. It's just my nature," he said and his smile grew to a grin.

"Let's go shopping!" I squealed.

--

We drove to the mall in Em's big-ass Jeep, talking all the way about random things. It felt like Jazz had been her for years, not only nearly a day. I was feeling that I knew him pretty well, especially after the talk we had in the evening yesterday, but the scars still bothered me. I wouldn't force him to tell me. Yet. I felt sad he didn't trust me enough, but he came yesterday, so I kind of understood. That didn't make the sadness go away. I looked out the window and listened to his and Em's talk about the new Xbox game. Jazz and Em were apparently both crazy about Xboxes, Wii's and that kind of stuff. They were already good friends. The sadness became more pronounced when I listened to the deep voice with that sexy Southern accent.

I saw Jasper turn his head to me in my peripheral view, continuing his conversation with Emmett on the front seat.

"Yeah, it sounds nice, maybe I'll buy it. If I can borrow your Xbox?" he asked. He was so cute, looking at me with his brow furrowed. I knew he could feel my sadness and I hoped he wanted to make me happy again, that he cared about me.

"Of course, dude, you're welcome. You can always stop by, you know?" Emmett said, oblivious to the fact that he didn't have Jaspers attention any longer.

"I know," Jasper answered.

Emmett started whistling along with a song in the radio. Jasper turned slightly, facing me more comfortably. I remained still, looking out the window at the skyscrapers moving by.

"What's wrong?" he whispered so low I could barely hear it, trying not to catch Emmett's attention too, "I can feel the sadness and see it by they way your lips are set, but I don't know why. Please tell me."

I closed my eyes when he said "lips". A small smile broke through and I turned and looked him in the eyes. His eyes shined beautifully blue and worried.

"You have to tell me."

"I can't."

"Please, Jazz." I knew he liked new nickname and hoped it could help me

"Alice, I _can't._ I want to, but I can't."

"Why?"

"Another time, not here, okay?"

"Okay."

We arrived at the mall then. Jasper looked meaningfully at me and hopped out. I took a deep steadying breath before reaching out to open the door, only to find it already open. A long hand was reached up and Jaspers looked at me smilingly. I smiled back, took his hand and let him help me out of the huge Jeep. He put my hands on his shoulder, grabbed me around my waist and lifted me to the ground, grinning as I gasped. His hands inched down to my hips, lingering there for a second. My hands, still on his shoulders, slid slowly down and across the top of his chest as I stepped back. I felt him shiver lightly, and his hands dropped from my hips. I looked up to his face, realizing again just how tall he was. His grin was gone and his eyes were burning again. He sighed.

"Hey, you two, no funny business! We're here for some reason, remember?" Emmett called loudly, making us both jump. We turned to him.

"Yes, we know Em," Jasper mumbled and looked at me, "Shall we?"

I sighed like he had just seconds ago. Sighing was good. Your voice couldn't break during a sigh.

"Yes, we shall."

--

"Em, _decide! _We were already late before we left my place," I grumbled, Emmett stressing out. He had found three beautiful rings but couldn't decide.

"Our place," Jasper corrected lowly in the deep, accented voice of his. I shot him a glare.

"But I don't know! Can't you help me?" he whined and looked pleadingly at me.

"Okay, okay! Let me see."

The first was silver with three round diamonds, two white and a pale pink in the middle. All the stones had the same size, and the bands holding the pink one in place was gold. The second was also silver, but not as shiny as the first. It had a brushed look to it, and the stone was a square, deep blue sapphire. The last was pure silver with five stones, two small and two bigger, but still small, rectangular white diamonds and in the middle a huge pale pink square diamond. It was bigger than all the two other ring's stones put together. I looked wonderingly at the three rings, trying to imagine them on Rosalie's finger.

"Why this one?" I asked and pointed at the first. Emmett looked incredulously at me. I nodded at him, encouraging him to answer.

"'Cause it's both simple and not. And 'cause it's both gold and silver," he mumbled.

"Look at it. Would it be good enough for the _engagement _of you and Rose?" I asked then, making his brow furrow.

"No, I think not."

"Exactly. It doesn't fit the occasion, even if it's beautiful," I said and pointed at the next, "That one?"

"It's beautiful, but too simple, right?"

Jasper surprised us both by talking. Emmett looked most surprised, he didn't know both Bella and I had told Jasper a lot about out little group of friends. I was surprised, because this was such a Best-Friends-thing to do, and Jasper knew that too. But I knew he wanted to be one of Emmett's best friends, so after the first shock, I wasn't really surprised.

"You're right," Em stated, still a little surprised, "But how do you know?"

"Bella's been babbling about y'all for the past six months. Of course I know what a party queen Rosalie can bee. And that ring," he pointed at the simple one with the blue stone, "just seem too simple for what I've been told."

Emmett grinned.

"You're right, dude," he said again, "It's pretty, but way too simple."

"The same for the last ring. Why this one?" I repeated, already sure that this would be the ring. Emmett grinned wider.

"'Cause it's the pretties, and it would suit Rose. And 'cause I gave her a rose in this exact colour at our first date," he said, blushed a little pointing at the big pale pink diamond in the middle. Both Jasper and I Aww'ed.

"Oh Em, that's so cute. Would she remember?" I asked smiling softly.

"She still has it," he mumbled, "the dried rose hanging over our bed? That's the one."

We Aww'ed again.

Emmett smiled and walked to the woman behind the desk. She smiled at him.

"I'll like to buy this ring," He said proudly and pointed toward where Jazz and I stood a moment ago; we walked around, looking at nothing and everything. I pointed at a ring.

"Aww, I like this one. It's cute" I said and tried it on. It fit perfectly, even though my fingers were very thin. It was beautiful in a very other way than Rose's ring.

I was a simple golden band, brushed so it didn't shine like Rose's did. Three rectangular white diamonds were embedded in the surface, completely in level with the gold.

"It's beautiful, but not as much as you," Jasper mumbled in my ear. He stood behind me leaning over my shoulder to see, "I like this one better than the one Emmett picked for Rose. It suits you. "

"Thanks," I whispered, meaning both of his remarks. He thought I was beautiful! I put the ring back giggling, turned and rubbed my nose against his chest, breathing in his heady scent. He shivered.

"I said _no funny business!_ What's wrong with you? Jasper needs clothes, Alice, focus," Emmett interrupted once again, this time with a paper bag in his left hand, gesturing with his right. I heard the silent groan rumble through Jaspers chest before he stepped back.

My head snapped up to face Em as he said "clothes". Then I smiled evilly at Jazz, making him look frightened. My head was already full of pictures of all sorts of shirts I wanted to try on, but a certain memory stopped the whole process.

_I'd rather have him without,_ I thought when the memory of this morning occurred, his tanned chest looking gorgeous.

Jazz froze and looked stunned at me. Oh, God.

"I didn't say that out loud?" I whispered embarrassed. He nodded speechless at first, but he managed to stutter out in a whisper at last:

"I don't think Em head."

I could feel the blood leave my feet to flood my cheeks. Never in my whole life had I been this embarrassed before. Jasper was still frozen in place, Emmett looking curiously from me to him and back.

"What? What did I say? What did you say?" he asked, nearly bouncing up and down.

"Nothing, Em," I answered, grabbing Jazz and his wrists, tugging to wake Jasper up again.

"We'll g-go and find something for Jazz to wear."

--

We spent the rest of the time in the department filled with men's wear. I darted back and forth from the dressing room to the actual store, weaving though the long rows of clothes. I found Jasper 5 sets of casual clothing that were able to be mixed with each other, a formal suit(you can always use a suit) and two nice button-ups, a black and a light green, he could use at parties. I chose the black one for this evening. When I'd matched it with a pair of stonewashed, blue jeans, opened the two first buttons and smoothed down his hair a bit, he looked absolutely amazing.

We hurried home, Emmett sat us off by our apartment. We were both loaded with bags and more bags, but in some weird way, I got the door opened. I stumbled in, throwing the bags in his room and ran to the bathroom.

"I'm starting now! Take a shower and scrub your hair well!" I yelled and hopped into the hot water, already out of my clothes. I heard him answer, but I didn't hear what he said. Good thing for him, or I would choose to wear nothing at all when the thunder came. I snickered at the thought.

I was done in minutes. I hydrated my skin quickly with a mint-scented lotion, and then discovered I didn't bring either of the bathrobe or the dress with me. _Great_.

I wrapped a towel around me and peeked out the door. Jasper wasn't in sight. I ran the few meters to my door, frightened he would come out and look for the noise. He didn't.

A sight escaped my lips as the door slid closed behind me and I dropped the towel and found the nicest, most laciest set of underwear I could. The storm was tonight, and I had to be prepared.

I closed my eyes for a moment, letting myself relax. I thought about him all the time subconsciously, and it was killing my mind. Maybe I shouldn't drink too much tonight.

_As I stood in front of the bed with door behind me, only clad in underwear, I felt a wave of heat crush into my back. I opened my eyes, turned and gasped, staring at Jaspers naked chest right in front of my nose tip. My eyes crawled slowly up to meet his smouldering blue eyes. He reached out and let his thumb trace my cheek bone and lay his hand against the side of my face. I lay my hands carefully on the smooth skin of his chest and felt his light shiver. The hand that wasn't busy caressing my face, slid slowly across and pulled me closer to him, pressing our bare skin together. I damned the jeans hanging low on his hips, but lifted my hands to his neck, following the subtle lines of his muscles. He groaned silently._

"_Alice..." he whispered, lifting me up and..._

I gasped, pulling myself together.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"I whispered shocked to myself. I've only known him for a little more than a day, and I was already lost. Just the thought of him was turning me on. I trembled and sighed, picking up the dress from the bed.

Just as I was finished wiggling into the dress, I head a loud, muffled crack from Jaspers room. I ran to his door, finding it open an inch. I threw it open and looked shocked at the scene in front of me, nicely accompanied by the slam of the door hitting the wall.

Jasper stood in the faraway corner, looking just like my imagination minutes ago, the only difference in his body language. Now, he was scared. I mean really _scared_, looking with wide eyes at the scattered pieces of his mobile phone in the middle of the room. He didn't look up, he didn't flinch, he didn't acknowledge me and my noisy entrance at _all. _He just looked utterly scared and wide-eyed at the broken phone.

"Jasper? Jazz?" I whispered. His strange ability to mess with the moods in the rooms seemed to affect me as well. I became more and more scared by each second ticking by.

His head snapped up at the new nickname I gave him just this morning. His face became, if possible, even more frightened and a desperate expression flicked across his face.

"N-no."

His strangled whisper seemed to slowly fill up the room and his back slid down the wall behind him, and he thumped against the floor. He pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around them and buried his face in his knees. I ran across the room.

"Jazz, say something. What happened? Please, Jazz. Jazz?" I kept whispering as I crouched down next to him. I tried to soothe him and rubbed my hand across his broad shoulders, finally letting my arm settling around his shoulder.

I head him mumble, so I pleaded once again to lift his head so I could hear.

He looked slowly up at me, his beautiful blue eyes filled with tears.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, taking my hand a little too fiercely, "So, so sorry. I thought I got it all. I thought I cut all lines. I thought..." his breathing hitched, "Sorry."

"Jazz, what do you mean? I don't get it. Cut all lines to what?" I asked softly, leaning against his side. He relaxed his legs and allowed me to scoot closer. His eyes closed

"What I was. Who I was. Who I was _with._ Cut all lines to _these_," he whispered, tugging my hand closer and lay it against a big scar on his bare shoulder.

"I wasn't a really good person back in Los Angeles."

He sighed when I moved my hand around his shoulders a little, playing his hair and trying to make him relax. He dropped my hand from the scar, but kept it in his hand. I haven't really thought about it, the few times before he had held my hand, but despite the difference in size, they seemed to match, to fit together.

"Jazz, you _need _to tell me."

"I know, I will. Tonight. When we come home," he said, and I could hear that he really meant it.

We both stood up and he took in a deep breath to settle himself, and then he smirked at me.

"Nice dress," he said appraisingly. I blushed.

"Nice chest," I answered in remembrance of my little remark in the jeweler's, making him blush slightly, and his smirk grew to a pretty, boyish grin.

It occurred to me then, when I looked up at his happy smile, that even if Jasper was big, tall and muscled, and I was tiny, thin and fragile, I wanted to protect him from everything.

_I love him._

* * *

**A/N: Woooooo!  
So, whatcha' think? :D **It was pretty crazy to write this because of all the wild mood swings. _And_ it's unbelievably long. Like _freakin' **3,340** words without authors note!!!!_

I'm sky-high! Like I've been consuming 11kg chocolate(it gives the same effect as smoking a joint)!

Is the story developing too fast? I think I can make slower, but still, I want to write as my fingers tell me to :D

Any Danes out there? I just wanted to say:

Hej! Det her er bare for fedt! Jeg kan ikke helt fatte at I kan lide min historie, jeg skrev og uploadede bare det første kapitel for sjov. Men nu kan jeg sgu ikke stoppe!  
Det var meningen de bare skulle finde sammen, og det var det. Måske 5 kapitler højest.  
Så begyndte alle ideerne bare at poppe frem, og nu ser den ud til måske at blive dobbel så lang.  
Synes I det går for stærkt? Jeg ville bare vise at de har en eller anden speciel "connection", hvis I forstår hvad jeg mener ;)

Review eller PM mig. Det ku' være lidt nice :)

Kram Alice.

_**Review puh-leze.**_ I've found out it really _does_ make the updates come quicker. I don't care if you already have done it before. Do it again, and tell me about THIS chapter. Thanks :D


	6. Party

**A/N: Glee! An UPDATE! I'm just as happy as you!  
**If you want a reason for me not making updates, blame Chris MacDonald(If you know him). He's what I've been doing the whole week.  
Since my school is a first in our type of having lessons and small pauses to do sports in between them, our entire week 41 is about sports. We had to burn 1000 kcal A DAY.  
I made it. Barely. Shit, this week have been killing me, and I didn't have the time or energy to write. SORRY!

Here's another chapter.

Review please, even if you've already done it before. Tell me about_ this _chapter.

Oh, and I just found out I never had a **disclaimer**.

Sorry, you guys, but I really own this.  
No you don't!  
Yes I do!  
No you don't! Period.  
Yes I do! Period period!  
Stop sucking and get a life.  
*Sighs* Guess I should.

* * *

**Party**

Everything at the party went well. And by everything, I mean _nearly _everything.

I had a hard time trying to stop giggling by the sight of all the guys gaping at Rosalie. Rose and her perfect dress. It was nearly-black-but-brown, and very, _very _tight. It had thin spaghetti-straps and the folds around her waist and hips met in a big, soft bow, just above her left hip. Even Emmett couldn't stop drooling when he saw her.

A whole lot of guys seemed disappointed when big, bodybuilding Em walked up to her with long strides and kissed her passionately. A few turned to drool over Bella, clad in a pale purple chiffon dress with v-neck, and a slightly darker shade of purple lace around the edges of her dress. I had to admit, that she had chosen her dress well, the light purple seemed to bring out the reddish tint in her hair. But the fact that she was touching Edward all the time, holding his hand or encircled in his arms, and pecked kisses all over him, made the boys disappointed again. Poor guys.

I felt jittery high, without even drinking. Edward and Bella was so happy, and Em was going to propose tonight. I also suppose I didn't have to wait too long for my brother to grow a pair and propose to Bella. He looked at her with that special sparkle in his eyes.

Everybody was having fun, dancing and laughing. No wonder why I was happy.

After being introduced to Jasper, Rose whispered something in Emmett's ear. Em grinned in response an nodded, but seemed a little... uncomfortable. I felt my eyebrows furrow a little, caught Em's eyes and raised my eyebrows questioningly. He grinned wider and shook his head, concentrating at Jazz. I pouted.

"What's wrong?" Jasper whispered in my ear and laid his hand on my shoulder.

His hot breath blew across my neck and I could barely contain my light tremble. The warmth of his hand at my bare shoulder seeped under my skin, and an electric current shot through my body. I think he felt it too, 'cause his hand jolted slightly, but it stayed where it was. My skin started to tingle under his hand.

"Nothing, Jazz, Em and Rose's just acting weird," I mumbled back and turned to look at him, only to find him bent down in my ear-level to whisper. Our nose tips touched.

He pulled his head back abruptly and squeezed his eyes shut. I felt my cheeks grow hot from the thought of how close our lips had been. He straightened up completely, towering over me with the huge difference in heigh at 1 feet and 5 inches. He opened his eyes and looked down at me. They were burning again.

My breathing got heavier at the sight. He dropped his hand slowly from my shoulder, his long fingers caressing my exposed back subconsciously. I tore my eyes from his and looked at my petite feet, my blush growing even redder. God, if this man wasn't so goddamn sexy!

Rosalie's voice brought me back to their conversation.

"So, Jasper, what do you do for a living?" she literally purred. My anger flared and I shot her a glare, but she was one hundred percent focused on flirting with _my _Jasper. I nearly growled.

"I'm a teacher," he answered shortly, still looking at me, furrowing his brow as he sensed my feelings. Rose became utterly surprised from being rejected that way, and I tried to contain a smug smile. Emmett grinned happily. Rose tried again.

"What do you teach in, then?" she asked and inched closer to his side and fluttered her eyelashes. He didn't answer in a minute, only focused on me, and then she nudged his arm gently, trying to win his attention. He turned abruptly to look confused at the still eyelash-fluttering Rose. Em nearly fell to the floor laughing. I couldn't contain my grin as I figured out what she was doing. She was, as the protective girl she'd always been, testing Jasper.

"What?" Jazz said confused and Rose and I cracked up laughing. He scratched the back of his head a little and smiled tentatively. Emmett had to sit down, and Rose followed him, still laughing as she choked out:

"Okay, he's checked. He's absolutely fine," she said, and then added in a whisper only to me, "He's heads over heels for you. He didn't even _look _at by boobies."

I giggled, happy that he'd passed Rose's test. That meant I could date him without being hurt. Rose had always done that for me, and a few times, okay, all the other times, they all immediately focused on her boobies. Those guys were out of question, and I never went on a second date with them.

Jazz stood beside me and looked confused still. I smiled as I turned to him.

"What was that? I'm checked?" he asked and raised an eyebrow at me quizzically. I couldn't contain the tiny giggle and his other eyebrow joined the first one.

"Oh, it's an old rule. It haven't been used for _years_. It's all about that Rose checks the guys I'm supposed to, err, date," I said and blushed furiously. He smirked in response.

"You're the first ever to pass. Be happy," I said embarrassed, making it sound threateningly.

"So, what made me pass? My job?" he asked, the smirk lingering on his sexy lips. _God, I want to kiss him._

"The fact that you didn't look at her boobies,"

I couldn't stop my laugh at the sight of his facial expression. At first, he looked happy and a little smug that Rose thought he was good enough for me, then his expression turned to utter horror.

"All the other guys you've been dating would've stared at her boobs?"

The sound of the last word in his serious deep voice, with that sexy Southern accent of his made me laugh harder. I nodded. He shook his head.

"What kind of men you've been dating..." he mumbled, "Darlin', you know I wouldn't do that."

I smiled up at him.

"Yeah. I know. Dance with me."

--

We danced for a long time. First Jasper and I, then Rose, Bella and I, while Jazz was in the bathroom.

I was a little amazed by Jazz. He was such a good dancer. He hadn't torn his eyes off me since I got out of the bathroom at home, just finished applying my make up. He looked so hypnotized at first, but after a pair of seconds, he'd stuttered:

"Wow. Beautiful."

I smiled at the memory. He wasn't so bad himself.

He'd taken the jet black button-up I bought to him, but he'd chosen a pair of grey stonewashed jeans instead of the blue I chose. I had to admit, the grey were better that the blue ones. He had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, and unbuttoned the two upper buttons, revealing just a little of the smooth skin on his chest, but enough to make me flustered. The scar I'd kissed was visible above the collar again. Damn, I wished we had kissed that time. _Was it really just this morning, fourteen hours ago? _It felt like it had been weeks. Not because the time went by slowly, just that there had happened so many things. I suddenly remembered all the 'moments' with Jazz through the whole day. First time, when I had discovered his scars. Second time when he helped me out of Emmett's Jeep. Third, in the jewellery store. Fourth, just before we left, when he destroyed his phone. Fifth, just before Rose attacked. Sixth, when we danced. That's why he left to the bathroom. I'd started thinking that he didn't want me, even though Rose and Bella had been all squeals and giggles. He always pulled away just before we really got to something, and it made me a little sad. Why wouldn't he kiss me? Was it because I was too tiny? Wasn't I what he wanted, and what did he want, then?

"Really Alice, don't worry. If I know him right, and I do, he's just trying to be a gentleman, trying to be decent for you sake. I've never seen him look at anyone like he looks at you," Bella said to me, when I gushed out my inner musings at her and Rose. They both reassured me that he was totally crazy about me. I wasn't that sure.

"Then why is he always pulling away?" I wailed. They both laid their arms around my tiny shoulders.

"Alice, I'm – we're – sure. Seriously, he hadn't taken his eyes off you since you came here. And you remember my test? He wasn't looking at me _at all_. Not even when he responded me. He was too busy looking at you like a lovesick fool," Rose said. I jolted and looked shyly at her.

"You think he looked... Lovesick?" I croaked. Bella widened her eyes at me.

"Ohmygosh! It's true! You're so in love! I'm so happy for you two," she cried happily. Rose squealed an jumped up and down.

"Oooh, now you finally get to feel how I feel about Em! I'm so happy too! And yes, he looked absolutely lovesick," she said, and then squealed again. I giggled, my bad mood entirely gone. For now.

"Who's talking about boys?" Bella smiled and jumped right into Edwards arms. He had the two others with him, and Jaspers whole face lightened up when he saw me here. He grinned and walked up to stand by my side, casually throwing an arm around my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat.

"Look at this," he mumbled in my ear. I tried to focus on the nervous Emmett, who slowly approached Rose. She tried to run into his arms as Bella did to Edward, but he held her back. She was totally confused, not understanding until Em knelt down on one knee.

"Oh, no," She whispered and held her hands at her cheeks and her mouth formed a small 'o' of surprise.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, I love you to the end of the universe. Will you marry me?" Emmett said in a slightly trembling voice. He held a midnight blue, velvety box up at her and opened it

She screamed. Literally. She grabbed the box out of his hand and threw herself at him, kissing crying and laughing.

"Yes, yes, YES! Of course," she cried, and took out the ring and put it on her finger. Emmett kissed first her hand, then her new ring, and lastly her mouth.

She looked at her outstretched hand, spreading her fingers.

"It's so pretty," she whispered, "The pale pink one. It's the same colour as... No, you didn't!"

Emmett blushed.

"Yeah, I suppose I did."

She kissed him passionately and the people around me broke out in applause. Edward and Bella looked at each other in a cute way, and a few other couples were also like that. Angela and Ben, some of Bella's friends, seemed entirely lost in each other's eyes, and Kate and Garrett kissed sweetly. I felt Jaspers arm around my shoulder tighten, pulling me slightly closer. I raised my hand to his and let it rest on his, giving it a light squeeze. His hand squeezed my shoulder in response. I could feel his calm happiness, it was rolling off him in waves. I smiled and looked up at him, expecting him to look at Rose and Em still making out, but his eyes were trained on me. He was happy when he looked at _me_. I felt like a giddy teenager girl again. I sighed as the party started up again and the DJ started a slower song. Don't ask me why Edward wanted a DJ.

I looked around and found that someone had begun to leave. I guess some of them had work tomorrow. Maybe we should be going too. The thunderstorm should be soon.

I felt Jaspers arm drop, and I instantly missed it around my shoulder. I turned to ask him why he did that, but was stopped halfway by a ugly guy.

"Hey beautiful, you're on for tonight?" he said, obviously drunk. I slowly recognized him as some dude called Tyler. I threw a glance around me, only to discover Jaspers total absence. Where were he when I needed him?

"Hey pretty girl, looking for your big guy? I'm right here," he slurred and inched closer. The stench of alcohol was hanging in a thick cloud around him and I stepped back, trying to avoid him.

"Aww, don't be shy," he said and clamped an arm around my waist, "Come with me, and I'll show you how to roll it."

He thrust his hips into mine and I nearly threw up on him. I tried to peel his arms of my waist.

"Get off me," I wailed, but he just kept on advancing. I could feel his hands _everywhere _on my skin, and I was growing a little panicked. Jasper! Where were he? I felt Tyler push me into the hallway and I tried to get free again, but he was too strong. He pinned my hands on my back, pushing me up against the wall. I was too frightened to scream for help, feeling his hard erection against my thigh, but I thrashed helplessly. His other hand crept up my inner thigh on it's way to my core. I thrashed even more furiously, trying to get free.

"So, you like that, huh? You like it li-"

He was cut off abruptly and let go of me rather limply. I realized I had closed my eyes and held my breath. I opened to see what happened. My breath left me in a huff.

Jasper stood hovering over the limp Tyler at the floor, Tyler looking a lot like he'd passed out. Jaspers right hand was still clenched into a fist and his eyes was... even more frightening than the thought of being raped. Wild, burning, but a whole different burn than when he looked at me. This burning was furious, mad. He looked so wild and untamed. His hair was a little dishevelled, but not much. His stance was awake and aware, slightly crouched, his shoulders raised and his muscles pulled tight.

I felt a sob raising in my throat. Jaspers head whipped up to face me when it broke the surface. The whole protective stance was gone in a second, and he stepped over Tyler and caught me in his arms. I laid my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder like the same morning. He straightened up slightly, and I felt my feet leave the floor. I didn't care. I just held him tighter and sobbed.

I felt so dirty. The thought of Tyler's hand all over my body, gripping my breasts and moving up and down my thighs made me sick. I didn't dare to think about what would have happened if Jasper hadn't come. I began to cry even more.

"Everything all right? I heard a thump, and I..."

Em's voice cut through the silence. Then he gasped.

"What the Hell happened here?" he demanded and heard the fury just below the tone in his voice, threatening to break through.

I felt Jasper raise his head from my hair, where his nose currently had been buried. He didn't lower me to the ground.

"This... _jerk..._ was busy, trying to rape Alice when I spoke to Edward," he said, kicking the limp body on the floor, "I'd just left her 'cause Edward waved me over, and then she was gone. I found her in here, thrashing around to get away from _his... fucking... hands,_" I cried harder again, and Jasper kicked Tyler for each of the last three words, "And then I punched him, and you got here."

His anger brought out the Southern accent more that normal. I snuggled close to him, breathing in his soothing scent of blackberries and man. He smelled a little like salt too, but it was just my tears. I was nearly not crying any more, soothed by Jazz's presence. He tightened his arms subconsciously.

"You've got a good punch in ya', then. Or, he's just really, really drunk," Emmett stated, and I felt Jasper nod. I heard a low groan from the floor and I started to cry again.

"I'll take her home, that's okay?" Jasper asked, already on his way out the door.

"Yeah, do that. She needs to be comfortable. Oh, and remember, thunderstorm tonight!" Em yelled after us as Jasper swept me up to carry me bridal style.

* * *

**A/N: This was actually pretty long. Like 2,830 words exactly.**  
I'm smirking at the thought of the 100 words essays my teacher keeps giving me as homework. Hahaha. It's plain ridiculous.  
I think I'll print my story and give it to her. Maybe then, she'll give me something I can learn from.

Any Danes? WRITE!!

For everybody asking me/themselves, I kinda enjoy making Emmett like this. He's so cute, always spoiling Jazz and Alice's moments. :)

The last thing Em says? Hehehehehehehe....

I have a surprise for you in the next chapter! Wee :D

**REVIEW PWEEEZE**?


	7. Thunder

**A/N: Long wait, long chapter.** WEEEE!!! 4,254 words(always without A/N)! I've broken my own record :D I'm so happy:D  
Plus, the doctors sucked, and Grandma doesn't have cancer anyway! Can I be more happy? Yes, if i got the most wonderful dress and the two best Dan Brown books.

Guess what? I DID!

_Disclaimer:_  
I do now own happiness, a perfect dress and two amazingly written books. I still doesn't own any of the Twilight-characters. Sadly.

Oh, I've just realized, that I never told you guys about the links at my profile. There's pics of Alice's dress, Jazz's eye colour, their difference in size, Bella and Rose's dresses, and of course the rings Emmett have to choose from. And the one Alice tries.  
Look 'em out :D

* * *

**Thunder**

**JPOV**

_I hate him. _

The thought repeated itself in my head a million times, and I still felt the well-known, but strangely different glow of anger in the pit of my stomach. I'd flown right into the old patterns when I saw them there, standing in the hallway.

_- Flashback -_

_I looked happily at my new friends. They were great, and I just knew I would fit right in. it felt like I'd been here for years, not days. I felt welcome, unlike back in LA. This world was better, a more peaceful place to be. Even though James had been a good friend too, I didn't take a second look back. Things here were _real.

_The thing I was most happy about was the tiny, tiny girl, standing this very second under my arm, and she seemed so comfortable. Alice. I turned my gaze to her, as she put her hand over mine on her shoulder and squeezed it. I squeezed her shoulder in response. She turned to look up at me, and looked a little surprised in a fraction of a second, before her eyes melted and she smiled._

_These silver eyes seemed to have some sort of magical control over my body. They made me feel things I didn't even thought was possible. Straight from the first time I laid my eyes on her in the airport, I knew she was special._

_My thoughts ran quickly through all the times of the day we nearly kissed. They haltered at the heated time this morning, after she discovered my scars. The guilt surged through me as I remembered her tiny frame at the floor, her face hidden in her hands and trembling from sobs. I had stoically ignored the feeling of her body against mine so I could concentrate on soothing her. It became a lot more that difficult when she placed her tiny hands at my face, said it wasn't my fault and kissed my neck._

_The feeling of her soft lips against my skin was more than my control could handle. I had been entirely shocked by my body's fierce response. Believe me, I really like Emmett, he's fun and a good friend, but right there, I wouldn't mind if he was in Hell. I rather wished he was there._

_Edward's wave brought me back from my thoughts. He waved me over, and I reluctantly released Alice and wove though the mass of people. He looked at me and raised his right eyebrow._

"_So, you like my baby sister?"_

_I was a little surprised by his straight question. I knew a slight blush crossed my cheeks._

"_I-I... Yes. I think so. I've only been here for a little more than a day, man, I don't know," I said, and he smirked._

"_It's just... I took a photo, right? Look at it," he said and handled me a sleek, black digital camera, that screamed "rich". The big screen showed a photo, not a minute old. In the front, Rosalie was attacking Emmett, who still knelt at the floor. The background was stuffed with people, but in the left corner, close to the camera, stood Alice and I. It was taken right in the second where we looked at each other._

_I heard a gasp. I found out it was me, gasping at the sight of the devotion and happiness in both of our faces. We looked like we were totally oblivious to the presence any other people, not only in the room, but in the whole world. My arm was around her shoulders and her hand rested on top of mine. _

"_Look at your face," Edward said and startled me a little._

_I did as he said, looking more closely at my face. It blazed with happiness and another emotion, I didn't exactly have a name for. The expression told that I would follow her to the end of the world._

_Edwards voice interrupted my thoughts again._

"_Where's Alice by the way?"_

"_I'll find her," I stated and let my eyes roam the room. I couldn't find her. Bella, Rose and Em came back after a happy hugging-scene. Alice wasn't with them. Edward and I exchanged a worried look, and I began to walk away when I saw a flash of red silk, black lace and short, spiky hair by the door to the hallway._

_Now I was really worried. She wouldn't walk away without saying _something. _I pushed my way across the packed dance floor, earning a few curses. I faintly heard a tiny voice, yelling "Get off me!", and I burst though the door and my thoughts disappeared._

_Totally oblivious to my appearance, Tyler had pinned Alice's arms behind her back, and his other hand groped every inch of her body in reach. Alice thrashed to get free, but she was too weak. Tyler began speaking in a clearly drunken and horny voice._

"_So, you like that, huh? You like it li-"_

_He was cut off abruptly by my fist at his jawbone, and he passed out in the same second at the force in my hit. I'd never been this angry in my whole life. He fell unconsciously to the floor, and I stood in the usual stance, ready for him if he woke up and tried to fight back. Even if the single most thing I wanted in this situation was to kill the... _thing_ at the floor, my years of training told me otherwise. Luckily for him._

_A broken sob reached me through my brain's heavy haze, hand my head snapped up to look at the crying Alice in front of me. Her eyes were big, and she stood in the exact same way as when Tyler let go of her, her arms hanging limply down her sides. Tears streamed down her cheeks._

_All the anger left me in a second, and I stepped over the guy at the floor, very deliberately stepping on his fingers. As I caught her tightly around the waist, her arms found their way around my neck and she cried into the crook of my neck once again. I straightened my back and her feet left the ground, dangling a good foot over the floor. She cried harder and tightened her arms subconsciously._

_- End of flashback -_

Alice sat beside me in the car, crying silently the whole ride home. It was painful to look at, and I felt like I would do _anything_, possible and impossible, to make it stop. No, that's a lie, I didn't feel like it. I knew that, as soon as we were inside, I would do anything. Right now, I had to concentrate on driving.

I carried her inside, only stopping to find the key, which was a bit difficult with her in my arms, but I succeeded. As soon as we were inside, Alice strained to get down. I let her go, thinking she would run to her room, but she walked unsteadily forward, heading for the bathroom. I followed silently to make sure she was okay. Then I heard her mumbling.

"Dirty, ew, need to wash off, ew, ew, ew, dirty..." she mumbled quietly, the tears continuing to wash down her cheeks. She didn't seem notice either, and walked to stand before the big mirror over the sink. She took in the running tears and the ruined make up, making black streaks down her cheeks and the few black spots in her chest from where the tears mixed with make up had fallen.

I expected her to wash her hands and wrists fiercely, but she started to struggle with the zipper of her dress. I felt my eyes widen a bit, as she tugged it down to her knees and stepped put of it and threw it on the table beside the sink, revealing the most laciest set of underwear, I had even seen. The dark blue lace hugged her hips, looking like second skin. The strapless bra was even tighter, pushing her full breasts up in round perfectness. My fingers started to sting and the rush of blood leaving my head made me dizzy. The constant hard-on I had had the whole evening, since I first saw her in the dress, became even more hard, dancing on the edge to pure pain. The dark blue colour against her pale skin, and her flawless figure, left me breathless. I saw her graceful fingers starting to unclasp her bra, and I took a few stumbling steps backwards before I turned and ran out and into my room beside the bathroom. I drew in a ragged breath and collapsed on the soft bed.

Dear God. Fuck. Why did she have to be so beautiful? Why did she have to have such a perfect body? _Oh no,_ I thought as my head became flooded in pictures of her nearly naked body. I groaned and buried my head in my pillow. Anything, _anything, _that could distract me now was welcome, but my mind had obviously other plans.

_She came in, walking slowly up to my bed. I sat up on the edge of the bed and saw that she only wore the dark blue, lacy set of underwear. Her hips swayed alluringly and her silver eyes were smouldering. She smiled and placed herself on my lap, straddling me. Her tiny hands pushed me gently to lay down, and she followed, her left arm holding her up, while the right hand traced my lips. My hands crept up her tights, resting low on her hips. She bent the arm holding her up, and her full breasts brushed lightly across my chest as she leaned closer. I groaned lowly, and she smiled and leaned down to kiss my collarbone. Her lips trailed a path the whole way up my neck to my ear, and she continued her open-mouthed kisses along my jawbone, eventually reaching..._

I groaned again, slamming my head against the wall. I would definitely need a ice cold shower soon. Unfortunately, Alice had taken 'my' bathroom, and I wouldn't intrude hers. I wondered silently what she would do if she intended on taking a shower like it seemed like. I only had one bottle of combined shampoo and shower gel in there right now. All my friends back in LA had teased me, because I had a weird, girly tend to always pick the one that smells like blackberries. But I liked blackberries. Suddenly, the picture of Alice, entirely naked in _my_ bathroom, looking for some shampoo, welled up in my head.

_Shit._ Here we go again.

I would, as the first thing tomorrow, try to find my own apartment. This wouldn't end well. I would end up like that idiot to Tyler, groping her all over her soft, beautiful and damn sexy body.

I wouldn't let it happen. I would not.

I sat up, resting my forehead against the cool wall and sighed. I'd never felt like this before. It wasn't just overwhelming lust, but the other emotion, I saw in my face at the photo Edward showed me, ran back and forth, just outside the line of understanding. I wondered what it had looked like to Alice. Alice...

I could hear her through the wall. She hummed a song I remembered I had heard in Em's Jeep today. Her voice broke through and she sang in a high soprano while the water splashed in the background.

"Give me a reason I gotta know

Do you feel it too?

Cant you see me here on overload

And this time I blame you

Hmm looking out for you to hold my hand

It feels like I could fall

Now love me right, like I know you can

We could lose it all

When love takes over yeaaah

You know you can't deny

When love takes over yeaaah

Cause something's here tonight"

I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. It was an outdated song, and it didn't seem Alice-like. But I guess it just got stuck in her head this afternoon. My thoughts started to drift, and I thought about the one and a half day I had been here.

It had been the best days of my adult life. Firstly, because I finally came to meet Bella, my best friend since high school again, and secondly, because I met Alice, and thirdly, because I met all of Bella's friends. They were so nice to me, and they didn't even know me. Just the fact that Bella liked me, made all the others like me. They trusted Bella, and I knew why. People that knew Bella and were her friends, was someone worth knowing. Bella had a rare ability to always pick out the good friends.

Like Emmett. He looked big and at first, he had made my defences go up, but the sight of his big impish grin reassured me. He was like a burnt marshmallow, hard on the outside, but sweet and soft like a teddy bear at the inside. He acted a lot like a ten year old boy in a 27 year old body, and he didn't even know it himself. Such a kid.

His girlfriend, and now fiancée, Rosalie, was his total opposite. She looked a lot older than her 26, and could work as a supermodel if she wasn't so absorbed with her job as journalist. Em had done a good job in her, and she was just as crazy in him as him in her. Rose needed a good laugh sometimes when she came home, and Emmett, always cracking jokes and grinning, was made for her. Plus, the vanity in her was satisfied by his more than well-muscled body. Their internal looks told me that they definitely didn't have a calm period in _that_ relationship.

You had to be very, very dumb if you didn't know why Bella had chosen Edward. They matched even better than Em and Rose. I'd already witnessed a lot of silent discussions and sweet looks, kisses and hugs, and the love was practically dripping from them, pooling around their feet. I knew from Bella, that he played the piano, and he had composed a whole lullaby just for her. I had heard it once, she'd sent it to me by e-mail. It was beautiful, and it screamed to everybody listening, that this was love, in the loving way.

I was so deep in thoughts, that I didn't hear the water being shut off, and the sound of Alice leaving the room. The only thing I did hear was the deep rumble outside the window.

"Thunderstorms?" I mumbled to myself, remembering Emmett's last remark at the party. I stood up and walked to the window. A sudden flash lighted the room behind me and blinded me shortly. I counted four seconds before the loud crack shook the building. I became entirely rigid, but not because of the trembling floor or the sudden pressure against my eardrums.

It was the shrill, high-pitched scream that sounded through the apartment that made me go rigid. Thunderstorms.

Before I could even _think_ about running to her room to soothe her, she slammed my door open and flew into me. The impact made me stumble a few steps back, but I regained myself and laid my arms around her tiny waist.

"P-p-please, d-don't g-go, p-please, please, d-d-don't g-go," she choked out, shivering violently. Her arms clasped around my neck, and she continued stammering as I tried to soothe her.

"Alice, of course, I'll stay here, I'll stay right here, calm down love, relax," I mumbled into her ear. It seemed like it helped – a bit. She took a deep breath and loosened her arms, but she still shivered.

"Sorry," she whispered, blushed a little and stepped back, "I'm just so afraid of thunder. Can I sleep in here tonight?" She was so tiny and fragile, looking up at me with big, frightened eyes, so I couldn't do anything but nod.

That was until I took in her appearance.

I groaned inwardly by the sight. She was wearing a tiny, tiny chemise, pale pink with small black hearts all over it. A black band was settled just below her beautiful breasts, and on to it was attached a small pale pink bow. The black ruffles along the neckline plunged low enough to show the absence of a bra. The whole thing went just below her butt, and definitely not longer, barely covering the matching panties you could see through the thin fabric. Instantly, I regretted I had been born.

_Damn_. I wouldn't make it through the night.

"I'll go and get ready for the night," I whispered hoarsely. She looked questioningly at me, but I grabbed the cut-off pyjama pants and nearly ran out the room.

Behind the locked door of the bathroom, I felt a tiny bit more secure. That woman would be the death of me. I balanced wobbly on the edge of wanting her, and wanting to make her secure. I decided to take a quick cold shower. _Maybe it would help_, I thought doubtfully. A yelp escaped my lips as the icy water hit my back, and I was soon wrapped in the lovely smell of blackberries. The bottle was already wet, so I assumed she _had_ used it. The thought of her, here in my bathroom, using my soap, made me crazy. Both the sexy dark blue set of underwear and the tiny chemise hadn't left much to my imagination. _What the Hell, _I thought and let my memory linger at her beautiful figure. It didn't take long to get the release.

I dried myself hurriedly as I heard another rumble from the outside. Pulling on a pair of clean boxers, I looked at my hair in the mirror. It needed a cut, and the white sun-made streaks from the innumerable trips to the beach in the summer was slightly grown out, revealing a darker golden colour. It curled slightly in it's wetness. I sighed and rubbed it fiercely with the towel, trying to dry it enough to prevent it from dripping, but it always seemed to contain more water than the towel could absorb. I wondered absent-mindedly what it would look like if I let it grow long enough to make a ponytail while tying the string of my pyjama pants, and chuckled silently at myself.

The loud crack of a lightening and a muffled shriek from the other room woke me up, and I looked at myself a last pained time before hurrying back to my room to find Alice sitting tense and trembling on the edge of my bed, curled up with the sheets around her. Her wide eyes met mine for a short second and she relaxed visibly.

"Oh God, t-thank you, he d-didn't leave, didn't l-leave," she whispered to herself, closed her eyes and released her tight grip on the sheets a little. I sat down beside her and laid an arm around her slender waist. She snuggled closer to my side.

"Sorry darlin', it took too long," I said in a calming tone, and rested my chin on her hair. I felt her tiny arms snake their way around my waist and I couldn't stop a shiver from brushing down my spine. The hand snaking across my stomach suddenly haltered, and she pressed it against my chest.

"Your skin feels cold," she mumbled, and then pulled bag to smile mischievously and wiggled her eyebrows at me, "You took a cold shower?"

I groaned. "You're doing it on purpose!" She laughed her tinkling, high-pitched and beautiful laugh.

"Why wouldn't I?" she said and traced her index finger from my collarbone to my belly button. I grabbed her hand and growled.

"Don't. Please." She looked up at me through her eyelashes. Oops. Her silver eyes was smouldering.

"You sure?" she whispered and skimmed her nose tip slowly across my chest.

I snapped. Before I even knew it myself, I had turned us around and pinned her under me. I hovered over her, my elbows beside her shoulders and my knees beside her thighs, holding her wrists captured over her head. She looked up at me with an equal frightened and lust-filled gaze, only illuminated by the bedside lamp. I smirked.

"You wasn't prepared for that one, huh?" I grinned down at her and released her hands. She still looked a little shocked, and her eyes began to travel down my neck to my bare chest, the frightened look dissipating and the lust taking over as her eyes met mine again. I knew I wasn't smiling any longer.

I let my eyes wander, taking in her delicate neck, the swell of her breasts and lastly, her full, red lips. They were begging to be kissed senseless. I saw the corners tremble a little, as if she was trying to hide a smile.

"Can you tell me why you're staring at my lips?" she whispered heatedly. I looked her in the eyes again and her hands crawled up and knotted in my damp hair. I leaned down so our lips was _almost _touching, just a mere millimetre from brushing against each other.

"No. Can I show you?" I whispered, smirking in response, and in loss of words she merely nodded.

"Any time." she mouthed and pulled me the last millimetre down to her lips.

She moaned quietly as soon as our lips touched, like she'd wanted it in a very long time. Her soft lips felt like roses and silk, and they moved in perfect synch with mine, as if we'd done this for years. She sucked my bottom lip in between hers, and nipped it lightly. I answered by pressing my body closer to hers, and she moaned into my mouth again. I licked her upper lip, begging for entrance, and she let me in willingly. Her sweet tongue met mine, and they danced in a competition for domination, a competition we both won and lost in. I pulled back for air, but continued kissing her, trailing across her jaw, and sucked lightly on the soft skin below her ear. My right hand seemed to have it's own will, moving down her waist, tracing along her hips and down her leg, around her knee, where my hand cupped her calf and hitched her leg up around my hip. She arched her back and panted lowly as I nibbled and sucked my way down her neck.

"Oh God, Jazz..."

Her breathless voice broke the silence between us and I paused to look her in the eyes again.

"What?" I asked, every bit as breathless as she was. The feeling of her small, but well-curved body underneath mine made the quick release in the shower totally useless. Her fingers travelled from my hair to my chest and she began tracing the scars without noticing. Her eyes were trained on mine. Then suddenly, she grinned and pushed me around, so she was on top of me.

"You know, you're not the only one who can tease."

She kissed me painfully slow, and moved her hips teasingly against mine. I groaned involuntary and slid my hands up her thighs, past her hips and up under her chemise, and started rubbing small circles on her back. She moaned once again into my mouth and deepened the kiss even more. When we had to brake for air, she smiled evilly and started licking a trail of fire down my throat, only stopping to kiss my Adam's apple. She followed the line of my collarbone with light, airy kisses and I tried to catch my breath.

"Alice. Alice, we've gotta' stop," I eventually said, and she looked up at me, surprise and a little reject showing in her eyes.

"Why?" she asked and kissed the corner of my lips lightly.

"It's just... We've known each other for less than two days, Alice. Maybe this is a little too soon," I said and reached up to cup my left hand around her cheek. She pouted beautifully.

"But you want to. I can tell."

"Hell yeah, I do! But still, two days, less than two days, isn't much."

"I guess you're right," she sighed and pulled us around to lay on our sides, still facing each other, "But I'll sleep in here. The one time I slept alone, that was two months ago, during a thunderstorm, I ripped my sheets to shreds."

"Shh, of course, you'll sleep right here," I said and pulled her into my arms, "But only sleep."

"For now."

I wasn't sure it was meant for me to hear, because a big, loud rumble shook the building at the same second. Alice immediately began shivering and crept closer to place her arms around my neck.

"Can't you distract me in any way?" she asked with a trembling voice.

"I can tell tales. Have you heard the one about the fairy in the hat?"

She snorted and laughed, but something made her serious again.

"Tell me this one," she whispered and touched a short scar on my shoulder. I sighed.

"Okay. But it won't be a happy story," I said and began telling the tale about a strong, confident, and absolutely naïve, young man.

* * *

**A/N: Hmm, whatcha' think? :D **This is the first kiss I've ever written. Tell me what you think, _please_!

And I'm giving you an option!

**What should I write in the next chapter?**  
- This chapter from Alice's POV?  
- Or just move on in Alice's POV?  
- Or what do you want to read?

TELL ME! **Review **please, and I will continue listening to my brother's snoring.


	8. Fear

**A/N: Even longer wait, even longer chapter. And a long Authors note.  
**

I am so sorry for the lack of update, but I've been so busy. There's been so many thing lately.  
So, by now, it's been officially a month. I want to thank all of the readers, it kinda make my day that so many read it.  
I want to thank all my reviewers even more. I love y'all! Especially OptimisticBee, you've been the best of the best.

I think I'll dedicate this _whole story_ to **Karkoolka**, who is, obviously, a huge Jalice-fan. I love when you review. Whenever I run out of inspiration and want to write, I'll just peek a little on your page and read a bit of all your favorites, and the "pond of inspiration" is swelling again, and I can write for hours sometimes. I am so grateful, 'cuz you can't imagine how many times you've saved me. without you, this story would maybe never had reached this point. Thank you.

And for the little "Fanfic addict"? _Get an account_! I want to be able to answer you, so I've disabled anonymous reviewers. Please, I want your reviews, but I also want to respond. You give me something I can work with. It's frustrating, not to be able to respond.

AH-WEEEE!! 4,671 words WAN(without authors note). Like four thousand, six hundred and seventy-one. I am wearing one big blissful smile here. I hope it means I'm getting better and better.

Disclaimer:  
I still don't own anything but the plot line. But that _is _mine, and it would be really rude to steal it. So don't, please.

* * *

**Fear**

**APOV**

The whole ride home was quiet. I think I spaced out sometimes, because the ride only seemed to take half the time it normally would. Either that, or Jasper was just driving like mad. I sneaked a short glance at the speedometer. Oh. He _was_ driving like mad.

It was funny how I seemed to manage to push the whole incident into the back of my head, packing it away for later. It made me able to look at everything through a slight haze, not really taking in what I saw and felt. Jasper held my hand all the time, when he wasn't changing gears. His thumb rubbing slow, soothing circles on the back of my hand subconsciously, and he peeked at me through the corner of his eyes from time to time. Afterwards, I had a lot trouble remembering exactly _how_ I came home, but when I was inside, everything I could concentrate on was the feeling of being dirty, smeared all over with smudges from Tyler's greedy, clammy hands. I strode off to Bella's old bathroom, not noticing Jasper behind me. As I told you, everything on my mind was to wash the feeling off me.

I stopped dead in front of the mirror. What a mess I was. Tears running down my cheeks, make up falling with them, and droplets of blackened water on my chest. Would Jasper ever find me beautiful again, after seeing this? Probably not. The number of tears I shed increased violently. _But I love him, _I thought with a painful stab in the chest. I remembered my plan for tonight, my plan on teasing him, and hopefully seduce him, the latter part just recently added, and I knew I had to shower if Jazz ever should touch my skin. I pulled the zipper down frantically, and tugged it almost violently down. I heard a distant voice in my head tell me, that I should be more careful with the pretty dress, but I felt strangely disconnected with my brain, only acting on instinct. I also heard a weird hitching sound behind me, but it didn't really reach my consciousness. Instead, I unclasped my bra shakily and threw it after the dress, soon followed by my ridiculous skimpy panties. I found myself wondering why I'd even worn that set from the start.

Shaking my head fiercely, I stepped into the shower and turned the heat up. Hot showers always calmed me. I sighed contently as my muscles started to relax and my brain picked up the line to my body again, for the first time since Jasper had rescued me. It felt nice to be able to think properly again, and I started to process what had happened. I knew I had to think it through to get it out of my system, instead of having it floating around inside me for ages. I closed my eyes and let the memories fill my head.

The whole night needed to be thought through. The giddy feeling when Jasper passed Rosalie's test, then sadness when he'd pulled abruptly away from me when we danced, the pure joy at Bella and Rose's words about him being lovesick.

_Oh, yeah the dance... _I thought and couldn't stop a smirk.

"_Dance with me," I said and took him by the hand and lead him to the 'dance floor', hastily made by pushing the couches away. He smiled and tugged me closer to tell me something over the loud music._

"_I'm not a very good dancer, you know. I've always been to tall to learn it," he yelled and stepped back a little. I missed the proximity in the same second._

"_It's because you've only tried dancing with Bella," I said, pulling in the hand that was still connected with mine, which made his upper body bend down to me. He laughed, and I felt my lips form a grin in response._

_We stood in the middle of the open space they called the dance floor. We were quite close, pushed together by the mass of people. The music was loud and the rhythm was easy to catch._

"_Find the rhythm," I said, standing on my tip-toes to reach his ear, but I was still not tall enough. My hips started swaying to the beat subconsciously, and he smiled slowly, his eyes seeming darker, more like ocean blue than the normal icy blue. Freaking sexy. He started to dance a little reluctantly, but soon he dropped all the walls and danced with me like nobody else. At some point, under the influence of my favorite song, I inched closer and laid my hands on his shoulders. His long, lean hands felt amazing as they suddenly was against my hips._

"_See, I told you, you could dance," I reached up and whispered in his ear. He chuckled lowly and his breath fanned across my exposed neck._

"_You think so?" he asked, his lips nearly brushing my ear, and he let his voice catch the Southern twang it still had. I felt like melting right into him. He was so gorgeous. I pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes again._

"_Yeah, I do."_

_They were dark and smoldering. Nearly on fire. I knew I could make them burn if I wanted to. Just the slightest hint..._

_He gasped suddenly and let go of me. He squeezed his eyes shut for a second and choked out two words:_

"_Excuse me," _

_And then he turned abruptly and nearly ran away, apparently heading for the bathroom._

It had hurt a little to watch his obvious tries to _not_ kiss me. I could see clearly that he wanted me, but he kept pulling away. I still wondered why, but Rose's remark about him looking lovesick was more than what I needed to cheer me up again. I hadn't really taken my time to think about the thought I got after he promised me to tell me the story of his past, but I smiled widely as I let it flood my mind.

_I love him. I really love him. I love him already! Love... _I giggled at the thought. Mary Alice Brandon, the matchmaker herself, had fallen in love after one and a half day! But, Lord, he was gorgeous though. I loved how his hair always fell into his eyes slightly, how his mere grin made me feel like jumping around in happiness. I loved his laugh, deep and carefree. I loved his icy blue, but warm, eyes and how they sparkled when he told Emmett jokes. I loved his deep, silky voice with the Southern twang in it, even after all these years. I mean, he moved from Texas when he was sixteen! I guess it was because he really tried to keep it. He had to know how sexy it was. How sexy _he_ was.

I started singing a song I remembered from our shopping trip earlier today. It was the kind that got stuck in your head for days and even if you tried to get rid of it by singing or listening to other songs, it still haunted you. I had to admit, I wasn't the best singer of the showers. The words seemed right for the situation, though, so I didn't care if it was nearly half a year old. I looked around to find something like shampoo or anything, I tend to have lot of that stuff, but I only found a purple bottle with the words "Blackcurrant scented" scribbled across it in a rainbow coloured, girly font. I giggled at first but suddenly, I froze.

Oh. My. God. Was I standing entirely naked in _Jasper's_ bathroom, singing and showering? Had he probably seen me nearly ripping my clothes off? Where was he now?!

I pushed the shower door open an inch and scanned the room with frantic eyes, before I remembered that Jazz was way too gentleman-ish to stay in here while I was naked. I smiled relievedly and closed the glass door again. I'd better be done soon.

I finished quickly, and was out in the matter of minutes. The sweet smell of blackcurrant floated around me, and Jasper's very manly, musky scent clung to the towels hanging on the drier. I couldn't stop imagining Jasper rubbing the towels across his chest and body, leaving the scent as a memory. I paused my drying for a second and pressed the towel to my nose.

The combination of his heavy scent, and the slight note of my lighter, minty scent smelled fantastic. I closed my eyes and started drying myself again. My short, black hair was luckily thin and smooth, so it was dry before I got to say Alice loves Jazz. I still said it though. Just a faint whisper, but I made it feel a lot more real. A huge happy smile reached my lips, and I remembered my little plan for tonight. Maybe I would actually do.

Tip-toeing silently, but very quickly, to my own room, I stole one of the towels with his scent in it. I pulled the door shut behind me and ran to the walk in-closet in the corner of my room. It was supposed to be a bathroom instead of Jasper's, but I had paid a lot to make it like I wanted it. It was pretty big, almost as big as the bedroom. It was my personal heaven, completely filled with every sorts of clothings, sorted in colors and labels. I skipped past the rakes, pulling out one of the big drawers and let my eyes roam the neatly folded underwear after the pale pink color, that meant I've found it. The pale pink chemise I got as a birthday present from Rosalie, made of very thin, silky chiffon with tiny black hearts all over it. A black, elastic band was placed just below the breasts, and had pretty pale pink satin bow in the middle of the band. The matching panties was small, almost a thong, but still panties. I managed to take it on shakily before I turned to the mirror to look at myself.

I couldn't help but gasp a little. The chemise was tiny, even on me. I didn't want to think about Rose or Bella wearing something like this, it wouldn't cover their butts. With the black band placed right, it barely covered my nipples, and I felt them harden by the thought of sleeping in the same bed as Jazzy. Dear. I really hoped this tiny piece of cloth would push someone – or _something_ – over the edge. My stomach knotted.

I ran my fingers through my hair, and shook it a little to make the bed-hair look. _Nice_, I thought as I looked in the mirror again. I twirled once and tried to hold back my giggle, not quite succeeding. Halfway through the second twirl, I froze.

A rumbling sounded from the window. My head whipped around just in time to catch a flash of a lightening, and I started to tremble and counted in my head.

_One, two, three, fou- _

The loud crack resonated through the apartment at the same time as my shrill scream. I wasn't sure how, but I ran and was suddenly encircled in Jaspers arms, sobbing against his shoulder. I cried out confusing, broken words I don't remember, but he held me tight and whispered soothingly to me.

"Alice, of course, I'll stay here, I'll stay right here, calm down love, relax," he breathed in my ear. His deep voice resonating in his chest woke me a little up and I stepped back and released my stranglehold from his neck. I didn't get what he really said at first, I was still scared.

"Sorry," I whispered, "I'm just so afraid of thunder. Can I sleep in here tonight?"

I felt awful, and I knew I looked like a lost kitten in rainy weather, so it wasn't a big surprise when he nodded. But then he stiffened and his eyes grew suddenly dark. Very dark.

A few second, passed, and I was about to open my mouth to ask "What?" when he interrupted me.

"I'll go and get ready for the night," he choked out huskily. I gave him a questioning glance as he tore his pajama pants from their place on the bed, where they had been thrown in the morning, and ran out of the room. I was puzzled. What did I do now?

It wasn't until I sighed and started to move, causing the air to breeze lightly against my naked legs, I remembered. I looked down at myself and strangled a giggle trying to escape my lips. When I heard the water started running, and a small yelp through the wall, it finally escaped. I sneaked out of his room – which I just found out I was in – and grabbed the wireless on my way back to my room. I needed the privacy for a moment.

"Alice? Oh Alice, I'm so sorry! I don't even know why I invited him! Oh my God, I'm such a bad friend -" Bella sobbed in the phone without giving me the chance of speaking. I tried, but ended up whisper-yelling her name to get attention.

"Bella? Bellaaa. BELLA!"

"W-what?" she said, and sniffed loudly. I could hear Edward in the background, trying to calm her down.

"Bella, it's okay, I'm okay, now. Jasper helped me home, I showered myself, and got it out of my system, it's fine Bella, I promise," I soothed her. I couldn't help but smirk a little.

"Oh my gosh, I feel so bad. No, don't go hushing me Edward Cullen! Alice, I am _so_ sorry, and you don't even need soothing, it's just me here wailing and crying, God I feel bad..."

"Bella, you repeat yourself. I will hang up like yesterday in the mall -" _Was it just yesterday?_ "- if you keep doing that, you know that all to well my dear. It is not your fault! If any, it was mine," I said quickly, still hearing some sniffling in the other end, but those came to an abrupt end at my last words.

"What exactly do you mean? That wasn't your fault, it was mine and Tyler's. Ours only. Why and how should it ever become your fault?" she wailed, and I head Edward try to hush her again in the background, "shh, Bella, you are waking the neighbours, and that's not great since you've just moved in, dear. Be quieter!"

I sighed. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have dressed up like that, it was so _stupid_, but I think I wanted to – wanted..." I couldn't get it said.

"You dressed up more than normal? Well, I kinda' saw, but I thought it was just because you were so exited and happy for me and Edwa- Wait, you wanted to what?" she asked and I heard her tell Edward to back off a little, to give us some girly time, and he responded her with a meek "yes, love,".

I stiffened. No, I froze. My body felt like some kind of weird stone, completely and utterly still. Edwards words poked something unnoticed in my mind.

"_Calm down love,"_

A ghost of the sweet, deep voice whispered in my ear and I forgot how to breathe. I barely realized that I sunk to my knees in the middle of my bedroom. I was just shocked.

"Alice!? ALICE!" Bella's horrified scream snapped me out of the short daze I was in.

"Yeah," I breathed, still not fully able to breathe again.

"Alice, for fuck's sake, what happened?! You were just suddenly gone, and I thought... Dammit! You. Explain. Now." she commanded while panting frantically. Her words helped me the rest of the way out of the daze, Bella never swore.

"Bella, I don't think I have time! Jazz just in the shower, he could be done any minute, and... and... I dressed up for him, okay! And just a couple of minutes away, you heard the b-big lightening, right? I kinda, you know, went mad! And he held me and soothed me and then... _he called me love,_" I whispered by the words, "like Edward just called you, and I don't think I really noticed it, but right now, I remembered, and iiiieee!" I couldn't contain a tiny squeal. It was low though, Jazz wouldn't hear.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Did you dress up for him? And did he just call you love?" Bella squealed in a matching tone. My sensitive ears caught Edward again, sounding a little demanding.

"Yes, and _yes!_ I can't believe it!"

"Well, I can, both of the things," - I swear, I could _hear _her wink - "'cause, already from the first day we met, you and I, I knew you would like Jasper, and the fact that he hadn't taken his eyes off 'ya all night tells something about the latter. I haven't seen him look at anyone like that before. Later Edward!" - I giggled but scrunched my nose as I heard Edwards voice purr something seductively - "and you'll sooo call me tomorrow right? See ya!"

Her sudden goodbye wasn't a surprise. She was apparently incredibly turned on by my brother, but I think you can follow me when I say that I find it very disgusting to listen to or look at. I mean, _my brother_! I know he's handsome, but no. Just gross...

I couldn't quite concentrate on the train of thoughts I started. My head was quiet, except for the faint voice of my memory, saying _love, love, love..._ repeatedly over and over. The wireless made a low _clunk_ when it met the floor, slipping out of my now limp fingers, a big ass-kicking smile broke my face in two. I hopped up, dancing completely silently on my toes back to Jazz's room, making myself comfortable on the edge of his bed and wrapped his sheets around my shoulders. They smelled a little like him. I smiled widely again and nuzzled my nose against the fabric.

Even with my eyes closed I saw the bright flash. My whole body tensed, and as the masochist I am, I counted once again.

_One, two, thr-_

I tried to stifle the scream by burying my face in the sheets, but I didn't succeed. I sat there for a second and shook out of fear, trying to persuade myself to believe that he hadn't left. Then I heard Jaspers footsteps as he came running through the door and halted in the doorway. I think I said something, I wasn't sure, but his mere presence relaxed me a little. I released my vice-like grip on the sheets, closed my eyes and sighed. Once again, I heard Jazz's footsteps, this time lighter, as he walked to sit by me and lay an arm around my waist. I snuggled closer and he tightened his arm around me. His relaxing scent swirled around me, and I was indeed relaxed now, when he was here.

"Sorry darlin', it took too long," he said quietly and rested his chin upon my head. I snaked my arms across his stomach to sit more comfortably with my side to his front, but stopped suddenly. I had discovered two important facts.

One. He was only wearing a pair of cut off pajama pant and plain black boxers, the label-freak in me noticing the waist band reading Calvin Klein in white letters. The pajama pants was light blue and was woven in a plaid pattern, hanging low on his hips. De-licious.

Two. His skin felt weirdly cold, but only in the surface. I pressed my hand to his chest and felt the skin warm up under my touch.

"Your skin feels cold," I mumbled, and then remembered the small yelp I had heard. I pulled back and wiggled my eyebrows at him, mimicking Emmett to perfection.

"You took a cold shower?" I grinned.

He groaned. "You're doing it on purpose!" he said and looked to the skies for strength. I couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

I traced a loose pattern from his collarbone to his navel.

"Why wouldn't I?"

He shivered, but stopped my hand and a growl vibrated through his chest.

"Don't. Please" he whispered.

I looked up at him. His eyes were very dark and heavy lidded, not to mention the tenting in his pants. He was obviously turned on.

"You sure?" I whispered as heated as I could, and since he still had my hand captured, I skimmed my nose across the piece of chest available and inhaled his heady scent.

My vision blurred for a moment, and before I knew it, I lay on my back in the middle of his bed with him hovering over me. I didn't feel any of his weight, but I felt his body against mine, and I was suddenly warm. He held my wrists captured above my head. His hair hung in damp curls down towards me and his eyes looked almost black as his face was in shadow. A grin stretched his beautiful, kissable lips.

"Wasn't prepared for that one, huh?" he said in a hushed tone and released my hands. Talking loudly wasn't a thing for this situation.

His deep, southern voice almost made me tremble. I couldn't help but letting my eyes wander down his unbelievably sexy, tanned and muscled body. His smile had dissipated when I met his eyes again. Then his eyes wandered, following the line of my neck to my chest, where I head a nearly silent whoosh of air leaving his lungs. Did he really find me so beautiful that the air left his lungs?

His eyes traveled up again and landing on my lips. They started stinging painfully.

"Can you tell me why you're staring at my lips?" I managed to whisper. As much as his air left him, it was nothing to what was happening to me. His lips were parted a fraction of an inch, and that sight was one of the most sexiest things I have ever seen. I couldn't stop my hands from knotting in his hair. His eyes snapped to meet mine at my words and he leaned closer, leaving the tiniest amount of air between our lips.

"No. Can I show you?" he whispered. His hot breath fanned across my face and the fire in me became ablaze then, I didn't know what I responded, but his lips eventually found mine.

I couldn't keep the tiny moan inside me when his lips touched mine. They were so soft and gentle, and yet still hard and urgent. It felt so right, like home. His lips moved perfectly with mine and I sucked his bottom lip in between mine and nibbled it softly. He pressed his body heavily down on mine and I moaned loudly into his lips by the hard feeling against my left thigh.

He licked my upper lip to beg for entrance, and I let him in without hesitation. Any thought left my mind as his tongue softly caressed mine. God, he tasted absolutely fantastic. Sweet and spicy. He pulled back after a couple minutes of heaven, but traced lines along my jaw and down my neck with sexily damp kisses. He brushed his right hand down my side and hitched my leg up around his hip and nibbled the skin on my collarbone. I arched my back by the pleasure burning through me, causing me to press more firmly against him.

"Oh God, Jazz" I groaned breathlessly. He paused and breathed heavily against my face while looking up at me again.

"What?" he whispered almost too low for me to hear. He sounded just as breathless as me.

My fingers traveled down to his bare chest, tracing the scars there lightly, but I kept my eyes on his. He shivered. _Oh boy, it's my turn. _I grinned and pushed him around to lay on his back.

"You know, you're not the only one who can tease," I whispered in his ear and he shivered again. I kissed him slowly, purposefully dragging it on before letting my tongue sweep across his bottom lip. He groaned but let me in. His hands were on the small of my back, rubbing small circles right on the spot. I couldn't help but moan again and kissed him deeply.

I hadn't felt like this in my whole life. Of course, I've had boyfriends, and we've been making out more than this, but this. This made me feel like I was on fire, and only Jaspers touch could dissipate the flames. They just didn't, they made them worse.

I didn't care. It felt so good.

I repeated his little move, kissing and sucking down his neck. When I reached his Adam's apple, I could hear him try to catch his breath. Unsuccessfully. I traveled further down along his collarbone when he spoke.

"Alice. Alice, we've gotta' stop," he whispered, and I felt confused and a little rejected. Confused, because I could feel that his body most certainly didn't want to stop, and rejected, well, because of the same. I tilted my head upwards to look at him.

"Why?" I almost whined and reached up to kiss the corner of his lips. He took a deep breath.

"It's just... We've known each other for less than two days, Alice. Maybe this is a little too soon," he said and laid his hand on my cheek. The roughness of his palm felt nice, and I pouted slightly.

"But you want to. I can tell," I said, but felt a tiny twinge of uncertain. Was it only his body craving me, or was it _him_? I knew that even if it was merely his body, I would take it. I would take it with the fear of having him to leave me, and the hope of working my was to his heart.

"Hell yeah, I do! But still, two days, less than two days, isn't much."

I knew he was right though. Less than two days, yeah yeah. I would be nice and wait. I would wait till the end of my life for him.

"I guess you're right," I sighed and rolled around once more till I wasn't straddling him any more, and continued "But I'll sleep in here. The one time I slept alone, that was two months ago, during a thunderstorm, I ripped my sheets to shreds."

Maybe I'd been shivering by the memory, because he pulled me to his chest suddenly, cradling me in his arms.

"Shh, of course, you'll sleep right here, but only sleep." 

_For now_, I thought, just as a loud rumble unfold itself outside my, or Jasper's, window. I started trembling again and he hugged me closer. I laid my arms around his neck.

"Can't you distract me in any way?" I asked in an almost-whisper, my voice audibly trembling.

"I can tell tales. Have you heard the one about the fairy in the hat?"

He was obviously trying to be funny, and he was. I snorted and couldn't help but laugh. Jazz was amazing. I've never been this relaxed during a thunderstorm. Then I caught a look at a short, but vivid white scar on his shoulder.

"Tell me this one," I whispered and traced the scar lightly. I felt more then heard his sigh.

"Okay. But it won't be a happy story," he warned. I nodded infinitesimally and he started speaking, and I had the feeling of this would take a while.


	9. Tales

**A/N: NEW MOON'S TONIGHT, yay! I've got tickets, and the movie is beginning in 3 hours and 30 minutes. My best friends are coming with me! Wee!!  
**

**It's been long, it's been too long, and I'm sorry, but this chapter was quite hard to write. It was like I felt it all... Ouch.  
**

**Fairly important note at the end.  
**

**NB: My knowledge about LA and certain activities in the city are just about none. Sorry for any mistakes or implausible things, but I don't know anything about it.**

_3-14-2010 edit: This chapter is slightly edited. Jasper's story is now a bit different, and he's not as innocent, mwahaha... Enjoy._**  
**

* * *

**Tales**

"I was twenty-three when I first met James, just two months after I moved there. I was currently working at a night club as a bartender. I was the one to serve James' drink. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't taken Max's shift that day. James and I quickly started talking, he was surprisingly nice to talk with, and I told him a little about how I just moved to the city. He was friendly and told me that he would introduce me to some of his friends. I was happy and grateful, 'cause it would be nice to have a bunch of friends, you know. I knew none at the time, just my colleagues at the bar, and they weren't exactly the type of friends I was looking for.

The next night, my night off, we met again in front of the night club where I worked. I don't remember what it was called. He had two guys and a lady with him, Alex, Peter and Lucy. We went to another bar, and I made friends with all of them. The place we went to – a place called Fate spelled with an f and an eight – was slowly being filled with people James knew as the night went by. I thought it was his regular bar, that he came there often. They were all nice to me, and I was comfortable. They invited me to come again same day, next week. I agreed, because I was honestly having a good time.

It became the habit. Every Friday, I was laughing and enjoying my new friends at Fate. I met a lot of people, Felix, Drew, Alistair, Benjamin, Bree, Corin, and many other.

One night, when everybody were slightly drunk, I noticed that they all had a tattoo, the same tattoo, drawn with simple black ink. It was tortuous, but it looked like three intertwined S's. They all had it in various places and sizes – Peters was on the outside of his left shoulder(_A/N: you know, like Jacob's in New Moon, the movie_), Bree's horizontally on the small of her back and Felix's on his chest, above his heart. He was big, you know, maybe bigger than Emmett.

It wasn't long after that time, two weeks I think, I found James and I in a deep conversation.

"I know you've seen our tattoos," he said and pulled his sleeve up to show me his. His were on the inside of his right forearm, "But you don't know what they mean."

I expected him to continue, but he just looked me straight in the eyes. The muddy, flat brown showed something like protectiveness, anger and pride. I was a little weirded out by the look.

"Then, what does it mean?" I asked. I knew James well now, and wasn't intimidated like I had been in the beginning. It was like I was one of them already.

"It's a tribute to Salvary, my surname. It's made of S's like you can see" he said with a tight smile and traced a shape with his finger.

"And why does everybody have your surname initial etched to their skin?" I then asked.

"It's because they're a part of my" - he curled his fingers into quotation marks - "'gang', if you know what I mean. We're each others brothers and sisters, and we help each other. We're like the family most of us didn't have before," he explained, making me more warily curious.

"What do you mean by 'gang'?" I asked carefully, doing quotation marks as well. He smiled tightly again.

"I wonder if you'll run away screaming," he said with a grin.

"Oh, I won't. I'm used to a lot, with your 'family' coming here with various injuries – hey, wait, you meant that 'gang'-part was true? You're a gang?"

"Yeah, we're a gang. Don't think bad of us," he said and looked worriedly at me.

"James, I know you aren't evil. I was in a gang back in Texas, even though we weren't that old. You're my friends, right? I've known you for four months now, you're all a family for me like they are to you. I know you don't do it because you like blood," I said and winked.

I honestly don't know why I felt like that. But it was true. They'd become my LA-family in the past few months, and I was happy to know them. I still am, but I wished I never got into their activities.

"Do you want to join us? Officially? It already feels like you're one of us," James asked, "I'll show you our range."

He picked out one of the big maps from the desk and straightened it out on the table. A few others came to look, but I don't really remember other than Peter. He was like my twin brother if James was my older brother. He had, and still has, a sweet girlfriend called Charlotte. She was also one of the Salvaries.

James showed our part of the city, which was quite small. He told me about the Lions – I've always thought of the name as ridiculous – their sworn enemies. They'd taken back a school the day before, so in fact, our part was even smaller. I promised them to help getting the school back.

The next day, I went to the tattooist with Peter and James."

Jasper sighed and rolled a little away from our tight embrace and sat up. I sat up with him. Then he turned his back to me and I gasped.

Why hadn't I noticed it in the morning? Was it because I mostly saw him from the side? I traced a clear black, s-shaped line with my index finger.

A beautiful, tortuous tattoo was splayed across his right shoulder blade. With a size of at least 4 times 2 inches, it should be be impossible to overlook. A lonely, thin white scar crossed it diagonally. I felt him shiver lightly as I continued to trace the pattern with my finger.

"It's beautiful," I whispered. Jasper turned around and raised an eyebrow incredulously.

"What? You have to admit it! It's actually pretty cool. I like the design," I said and smiled tentatively. He smiled back at me, but it didn't really reach his eyes. His icy blue eyes were, for the first time, cold and hard like an ice glacier. I felt my face fall.

"Sorry," I mumbled and looked down on my hands in my lap, biting my lip.

He wrapped his long arms tightly around me.

"No, I'm the one to apologize. It _is_ cool, Drew made it just before I moved there. It just... brings out memories. I'm glad I don't have to look at it.

Time went by, fights were fought, but I was still not a part of the fightings. I was too green, I needed training, so they started learning me how to fight. They told me the classic moves, ways to block punches and that kind of stuff. I soaked it all up, and they praised me for being so good. I was happy about it. After half a year of training and small fights, I was taken into their pro-fighting group."

He scrunched his nose like he was disgusted.

"I don't know how I got into all that so quickly, but after half a year as a friend, half a year of training and small fights and half a year climbing up through the hierarchy among the fighters, I was their second leader. It was unofficial, but nobody questioned my authority, only overruled by James'.

Salvary was growing. We ate up the Lions, Blood Hounds and the Punishment. We became the largest and most powerful gang in South LA, and it just got bigger and bigger. James was glowing. It was his little gang he's turned into this massive thing. The tattoo was now a symbol of how important you were, the newest members never got one like I did, but they wore it on shirts and jeans, caps and hoodies, everything.

Yet, we didn't forget how it was in the early days. We were all very close, and everybody knew everybody in personal. I was strangely happy, all the peoples running in and out. We killed only in self defense, and avoided it as much as we could. It was extremely rare that any of us died. We were relatively harmless, in a way. That's how it went for almost three years.

I was gradually cutting the fightings down through the years, letting others do the hard work, while I became committed to training. James knew how important I was, because it always ended like I wished. I was the only one who could control the fighters. They listened to me, 'cause they knew I was worth listening to. I became famous in the LA underworld. I was hard, and I had scars to prove it, as you can see.

Then Bella called me one night half a year ago, and I was surprised. We used to call each other once a month, and it had only been two weeks since last time. She talked all night about her new cool and beautiful friends, and the birthday party for one of her new friends, Alice's -" he winked at me, "- brothers best friends she had been invited to. I was supposed to do some work, you know, train some newbies, but I couldn't get myself to hang up. She was so bubbly and happy, and she kept saying "I know you'll love them, Jasper, I know it!". I promised to come and visit soon. She became even more ecstatic, and started talking about the shopping trip, she had planned with you."

"I remember that one," I mumbled and smiled at the memory, "she wasn't exactly ecstatic afterwards."

"I know. She called me after the party and told all about it.

The next day, I asked James to get permission to go to New York to visit you guys. He said no.

He gave me innumerable excuses. The gang needs you, I need you, everybody needs you. I tried to convince him, that I would only be gone for four days. He thought I would run away, and actually, at this point in Salvary's history, I was pretty much indispensable. I would never run away, though. The Salvary meant too much for me. It was my life.

After nine days, it happened.

Drew, Max, Alistair and I were on our way to the club. We had been out having fun, like the mates we were. Drew were my best friend in LA. We were buddies. He was my second in command at the "school"."

I saw pain and anger flash in his eyes by the mentioning of this Drew.

"Max and Alistair left us, they were going home. Drew and I continued towards the club, but was stopped by five men in hoodies with scarfs in front of their faces.

"Who are you?" Drew asked with the courage I couldn't find.

"It doesn't matter. We know who you are," one of them answered and pointed at Drew's tattoo. His were adorning the left side of his throat.

"Who are you?" Drew asked again. Another answered this time.

"It doesn't matter," he said and pulled out a gun. I was scared shit. Neither of us carried guns or knifes, so we couldn't defend ourselves. Drew started shaking slightly.

"What are you d-" Drew started, but was cut off by a loud bang. He fell. At that point, I didn't know where he's been shot, but I saw blood pooling around his leg.

Another bang, and white pain shot up my leg."

He closed his eyes and lines of pain appeared on his forehead.

"I knew then, that the men wouldn't let us go alive. I fell too, and a man crouched over me.

"This is what we call gang activity, not like your petty little wannabe gang," he said and flipped me over. I was only partially conscious, but I did feel a slash of pain when he marred the tattoo. Just one thin line, like he taunted me. He knew I would die anyway.

They left us there. Drew was already unconscious, I tried yelling at him, but he didn't answer. Then I blacked out."

He shook silently with sobs, and I grabbed both of his hands between mine, squeezed them and looked him in the eyes. That second, I could tell what he was thinking.

_Don't cry._

I hadn't realized that I cried silently. He stroked my cheek lightly to wipe away the tears. His fingers were shaking.

"Drew died that night."

I wasn't able to keep the tears silent any longer. I let out a quiet sob and drew myself closer to Jasper. He tightened his arms around me and his chin rested on my hair. His hand caressed my back soothingly.

After what I think was two minutes I took a deep breath and pulled a little away.

"Continue, please," I whispered. He nodded slightly and I noticed his red-rimmed eyes.

"I was in hospital for five weeks. Apparently, the shot in my left leg had hit something crucial. I didn't care. My best friend had died. It felt like he was my brother, and now, he was dead. It still hurts me. It's only been half a year."

"I can see," I said and smoothed a strand of hair back into the slightly curled mess on his head. He looked at me while a single tear ran down his cheek. I kissed it away, and he closed his eyes again.

"I hate to tell people about it. It hurts worse every time," he whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You had to know, even if it hurts me.

The worst thing about the whole incident was Bella. Shortly after I became conscious again, two days later, she called, franticly. I couldn't tell her anything, 'cause I'd never told her about my activities in the Salvary. I just told her I'd been attacked, and she insisted on coming to LA, but I refused. She eventually listened to me when I reminded of her job and other things limiting her."

"I know Jazz. I was shopping with her that day. She went bananas, for God sake! I'd never seen her like that, before or after that day," I added. She was truly frightening that day.

"She becomes a lioness when the people she cares about are hurt. She'll do anything for her 'cubs'," he smiled weakly. I smiled a small, encouraging smile back up at him and he ran his long fingers through my hair in response.

"I didn't ask for a short vacation again. I knew James wouldn't let me, when we were cut one short. But I wasn't really something good for the gang the next few months. I was still wounded, physically and emotionally. I kept up the facade for Bella, though. I didn't want her to come.

And everything I did, was plotting.

I planned and plotted, trying to find a way to escape to New York. I didn't like my LA family anymore. Something wasn't right without him. I began to see all the wrong things I've done. Eventually, James agreed to give me a little time off.

He could see my misery, and feel it. I know you've noticed it, how I seem to affect the moods around me. He was getting pretty annoyed with it at last and nearly ordered me on a weeks vacation. I took the chance and came here.

He'd just kicked me out when I called Bella. I wanted to be here as soon as possible, and at first, I was a little nervous, where to sleep and that. I do have money, I could sleep at a hotel, but this is better when it's more permanent. And I hope it will be.

And thanks for the room, by the way. I know it was on a short notice, but I'm glad I could have this."

He ended the long speech with a sigh and looked down. I couldn't help but feel protective again.

"No, thank _you_. I know I could easily pay the rent by myself, but it's nice to not live alone. I think I would go mad if I didn't have anybody to jump up in the morning. And it didn't really matter. The room was empty anyway, since Bella moved out just last weekend. I like having you here," I mumbled at the end and blushed infinitesimally.

"Let's sleep. I'm awfully tired. We'll talk tomorrow, if we need to talk," he said and thumped down, pulling me with him. Then he furrowed his brow and I smiled by the sight.

"What did you mean exactly by 'to jump up in the morning'?" he asked, a tiny bit uncertain. I giggled quietly.

"You're really cute when you do that," I said instead of answering. He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Just answer my question."

"Oh, it's just a bad habit of mine. You'll find out some day," I answered whiled grinning madly. He smiled wider, tightened his arms around me and nuzzled his nose into the hollow of my neck. I was glad he couldn't see my eyes roll a little in pleasure. His lips brushed against my skin when he spoke again.

"You smell nice. Like my favorite food," he whispered and nibbled lightly at my skin. I groaned.

"Jaspeeeeeerr, you said sleep. I don't know about you, but I'm really tired," I whined and pulled away. He looked at me again, sweeping his eyes across my face. I felt a slight warmth blossom on my cheeks under his gaze.

"Have I told you just how beautiful you are?"

"Jazz, just shut up and sleep."

He chuckled and I blushed again. I turned in his arms, pressing my back into his chest. The soft sensation of his breathing lulled me deeper into the half-asleep state, I was in.

"How many? How many lives?" I whispered. His arms tightened, and I felt him take a deep breath.

"Seventeen. I remember every single face, every future I ruined," he answered, his voice low and hoarse. It was clearly hurting him to think about it, and I felt instantly sorry.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," he murmured into my hair and nuzzled his nose in my hair. I was silent for a while, just listening to his breathing.

"You'll have to tell the others, though," I whispered, afraid to bring back his sadness.

"Mmmhfp," he grumbled non-committable, his nose buried in my hair. I sighed – at least he wasn't upset any longer.

"I know, it'll probably hurt to tell Bella, especially after having lied for so long, and I guess you don't want to make that impression to the others, but..." I continued, but trailed off slowly.

His soft snore rumbled silently in his chest, his heart beating slow and steadily. The sound made me drowsy, and I snuggled closer to him and fell asleep, feeling more secure in his arms than anywhere else.

* * *

**A/N: The fairly important note:**

Firstly, the tattoo:

I think it's awesome. I made it myself, and there's a link on my profile to my account on DeviantArt, if you want to take a look.

Secondly, Jasper:

You maybe wonder how Jasper can change from hurt, broken and sad to, err, a little bit horny, in no time, but he control emotions, for my cat's sake! So, when he can't mess with others' moods, I think it would be okay, if he could at least could control his own.  
I can cry my eyes out, and then, a minute later, I'm all happy and bubbly again. Jasper has the same thing. I can't explain it properly in English, I can barely explain it in Danish.  
I guess it's like you're a big bucket of sadness, and when it's been flipped over, it's empty. That's the easiest explanation.

I've already started writing the next, so hopefully, it won't be this long again.

**To everyone, who's going to see New Moon tonight: **

**Enjoy**. My friend's related have already seen it, and she says it's wonderful. I'm so looking forward to seeing it, because it's much more true to the book, which I think is fantastic. And the change in all-over color from blue to normal counts as positive, too. I think this movie is going to be much better than Twilight. I feel like a little kid!

_3-14-2010 edit: New Moon was awesome. Taylor Lautner was so hot. _  
_Can't wait for Eclipse. By the way, have you seen the trailer?? Seriously, I screamed. And danced and laughed and squealed. What do you think?_

_**Please review, I promise to answer you all(unless it just says "cool" or something)!**_


	10. Trust

**3-21-2010 A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH for your patience and support. I've waited forever to get this chapter done, and now that it finally is, I'm just going to update, not caring so much about grammar and spelling mistakes. Sorry, I haven't really checked it, but I'll correct it if you tell me about it. I just wanted to update.  
**Soooo, MY BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY! Bweee! I'd planned to update on my birthday, but I got The Host as a present and got stuck, I'm sorry. It's a wonderful story, just like The Twilight Saga.  
Anything else I wanted to say? Err, no.. Just review, and I'll be happy. Let it be my birthday gift from you! ;)

And on with the story, _at last..._

_3-22-2010: Something went wrong last night, sorry. I just realized it didn't update as I thought it did.  
**Remember to check chap. 9! It's slightly edited, so read it before you read this.**  
_

* * *

**Trust **

_I saw Jasper. I saw Jasper, looking at me with love in his eyes. His hands cupped my cheeks and my arms were around his neck._

"_I love you," he whispered, his eyes flicking between the two of mine before he kissed me slowly and sweetly._

You can't say I woke with a start, but I woke up suddenly. It was like, one second, I slept, and the next, I was awake. My eyes were still closed, and my bed felt funny, different. It felt a great lot like Bella's bed, but still weird, I concluded. Questions swirled in my head and I was close to raising, until I heard the light snore from behind me.

_Jasper_.

Everything came rushing back, and my eyes flew wide open as I suddenly felt him. His arm around me, his fingers intertwined with mine, his chest against my back. His right knee – the uppermost one – was slipped in between mine, and my foot hooked around his upper calf. His face rested right where shoulder joined neck and by every small snore, his breath fanned across my shoulder blade.

His body felt so huge compared to my tiny figure, and it made me feel protected and cared of. I sighed soundlessly and snuggled a tiny bit closer to his chest

I don't know how long I lay there thinking. My thoughts were all over the place, but in a peaceful way. I thought of nothing and everything at the same time. But the peace was at one shattered as my mind was haunted by the horrible pictures from the last night - not the ones regarding me and the party, but the ones summoned from Jasper's tale...

I refused to allow them to be more defined than they already were and tried to ban them from my head. I succeeded somewhat.

Jasper's story didn't bug me at all. I didn't care if he had killed, because I had seen him mourn for every life he had taken. He was broken inside because of it, and he was ind of forced to do it. Still, it killed me to see the crystal tears roll down his cheek like that, his eyes cast downwards to watch our joined hands. I had desperately tried to convey all my compassion to him. He seemed to acknowledge it, his wet eyes finally meeting mine. I had never felt as much love swelling in my heart, as I did that second.

I thought about what the others would say. I hoped they could see the same as I saw, that he was a genuinely good person, that just had made some mistakes. Maybe we should keep it a secret until they got to know him better, got to know him so well, that they could see, that he wasn't like that anymore. I squeezed my eyes shut, and felt a single tear drop roll to my - Jasper's - pillow. He deserved a chance after fighting that hard. I'd witnessed the fight myself.

I knew a part of him still was a part of the gang and told him to haul his ass back to LA, but the better part of him, the soft, sweet gentleman I loved, told him to stay. I also knew the better part was the biggest.

I had seen the huge difference between the two parts of him last night. I hadn't really noticed it, but now, when I had the time, I pondered.

The murderous look in his eyes and the stiff, but smooth stance told me he was good at what he did. He probably _was_ their best fighter, and I didn't care at all. I just knew he saved me, and he snapped out of it as soon as he realized that it wasn't needed anymore. I knew he hated it, but he did it for me.

He saved me.

I snorted inwardly at the irony. Was this supposed to be some kind of fairy tale story? My knight in shining armor had come to save me from my evil fiancée, the prince - NOT.

Who was I trying to fool? He was just being a good friend and would probably move out as soon as he found another apartment. I would still see him, but miss him, his warmth and presence, in times like this. I had never felt so... content. It felt so _right_, like it was meant to be, and everything else _ever_ only served to get us together. I sighed deeply and smiled with closed eyes.

I stiffened a bit as Jasper shift and flex his arms to bring me closer. His chest and abs felt amazing against my back, and I nearly sighed again as the feeling of his lips against my neck tingled all the way to my toes. Yes, I was definitely smitten.

"Good morning," he said a bit hoarsely from the sleep. I could easily feel the rumble in his chest when he spoke. I smiled.

"'Morning," I answered and turned towards him. His hair was a mess and his eyelids drooped sleepily, but he had never been more gorgeous.

We lay there just smiling for a minute. Then Jasper spoke up.

"I love Sundays."

I giggled softly.

"I used to hate them, just another boring day, but if I get to spend them like this every week, I guess I could grow to love them," I smiled. He answered with a huge grin and began tickling me. I squealed, wiggled to get free and tried to tickle him as well. His deep laugh mixed with my high-pitched one.

He got me trapped beneath him, my arms pinned to my sides. His hands ghosted across my ribs, right where I was most ticklish.

"N-no, Jasper, S-s-stoooop!" I screamed in laugher and threw my head back, still trying to break free without success. He snickered at me. I wiggled even more in response.

Suddenly, I felt his lips at my throat. Only brushing lightly across my skin, but it burned like fire. He inched his way up to my jaw and pecked small kisses from my ear to my chin. I tried to be silent, but a tiny sigh escaped my lips, just as Jasper's lips covered mine.

He kissed me softly and fireworks went off behind my lids. My fingertips tingled and my toes curled in joy.

And he hadn't even deepened the kiss.

He pulled away and smiled with a soft expression.

"Yup. Definitely love Sundays," he murmured and smirked.

"I'll get it," I yelled as I heard the doorbell ring. We had breakfast slash brunch an hour ago, and right now, Jasper was looking for any jobs for history teachers on the Internet. I had been drawing sketches for work - I worked for Vogue - until the doorbell interrupted me.

"Coming, coming," I mumbled to myself, and became absurdly reminded of the day before. I peeked through the peep-hole and saw a well-know blond head.

"Rose," I greeted with a exuberant smile, "And you brought your fiancée! How nice," I winked at Emmett, who was following Rosalie. He laughed and Rose slapped his arm. Then she smiled at me and stuck her hand towards me.

"Just look at it," she gushed and turned her hand towards herself before I got a great look, "It's so pretty! You never got to look at it yesterday, because of that..." she trailed off, suddenly uncomfortable. I shivered, unconsciously fiddling with the hem of my pale blue shirt.

"Hey," Jasper's voice interrupted the silence as he walked into the hallway to greet the guests. I turned my head slightly, smiling at him when he came to stand behind me. I heard Rose and Em say hello.

I felt Jaspers hand trail from my elbow to my wrist, where it tugged lightly to make me release the fabric between my fingers. I relaxed instantly. I wasn't sure, but I don't think Rose or Em noticed it.

"So, have you got any coffee?" Emmett said, easily breaking the tense atmosphere, rubbing his hands together. I laughed a little and made a movement towards the living room with my head.

"Go and take a seat. I'll make some," I smiled and turned into the kitchen. I didn't notice that Rose gave Emmett a look and followed me.

I started humming lowly as I filled the coffee machine.

"What's this all about?" she suddenly demanded, making me squeak a bit. She could be so damn silent.

"Eek, Rose! Don't scare me like that, -" she just grinned mischievously when I looked at her,"- you know my nerves can't stand it. What's what about?" I asked right back, blushing infinitesimally, because I knew precisely what she was talking about.

"I saw you two in the hallway. What's with the touching? Right now, I thought it would be the last thing that would calm you down like that. You don't even know him," she accused. I turned back to the coffee machine to hide my blush.

"I know him. We're great friends, and I know he wouldn't mean it like that."

"He fucking _caressed_ you. Be serious."

I turned to her again.

"I am serious. I _trust_ him," I hissed. She looked instantly hurt and I felt sorry just as quickly.

"Sorry Rose, I-I..." I sighed, "I feel safe with him, no, I _know_ I'm safe with him. And I know him. We've talked quite a bit the past days."

She seemed to accept it.

"But I'll warn him anyway," she stated with a determined expression, not looking at me, "That's normal procedure, and I won't break the tradition."

"Em's probably doing that right now, soon-to-be-Mrs.-McCarty. Let's have some coffee," I smiled, and she smiled back at the nickname. The conversation topic was closed for now.

"Can I still have a hug?" Rose asked. I laughed and threw my arms around her waist.

"Always. I give hugs for free," I mumbled into her shirt.

We stood for a few seconds, enjoying the sisterhood in a good hug when a deep voice boomed.

"Aww, let's make one huge group hug!"

Emmett picked both of us up from the ground in that big teddy bear hug of his and smacked a wet kiss on my forehead and a sloppy one on Rose's lips. We both screamed and laughed, kicking our legs to get free without success. I believe we didn't try to.

Rose noticed the awkward Jasper in the doorway, not sure if he should be there. She smiled broadly.

"C'mere Jazz, hugs are good for your health," she grinned, and he answered with a smile, slowly walking closer, when Emmett turned and ran, still with us girls in his arms, right into Jasper. His breath huffed out, but he still wrapped his long arms around us all.

Even if Carlisle and Esme were the best parents ever, in that moment I felt like I was a part of that family, I'd always missed. My eyes caught Jaspers twinkling ones, and his arm tightened around me.

"Jasper?" I called through the apartment. It was late, Rose and Emmett left just half an hour ago, and I had to work the next day. I'd heard the water run a few minutes ago, but it was silent now.

"I'm here," his deep bass voice sounded from behind me. I squeaked for the second time that day and sighed.

"You gotta' stop scaring me," I said and turned. His hair was damp and he was just wearing a pair of black sweats and a casual green t-shirt. I think I got a little distracted for a minute, 'cause he blushed and ran his hand through his hair once.

"Oh, right. Erm, I would just tell you that I need to go to work tomorrow. You're welcome to stay here, but you can also go for a walk or anything," I said and offered him a key. He took it with a small smile.

"Well, goodnight then," I whispered, suddenly shy. Jasper's smile grew wider and he stepped forward to grab my chin. He tilted my head up, and I was swimming in the clear blue of his eyes.

"Sleep well, Alice," he whispered and brushed his lips to mine. I stood on my tip-toes to press my lips harder to his. His hand on my chin moved and his fingers brushed through my hair, his other, free hand placing itself at my waist. I wrapped one arm around his neck, tangling his hair with my hand, and rested the other hand on his chest. His arm around me tightened and pulled me closer.

His lips touching mine brought a fire I'd never tasted before. His hard body against mine smoldered like nothing I've ever felt before. This was new. _He_ was new, bringing out something inside me I didn't know I had. I didn't think like I used to. I just let the fire guide me as I curled my fingertips just enough to claw his skin a little, as I nibbled his lower lip, as I wrapped my leg around his thigh.

It seemed like Jasper like what the fire wanted me to do. He moaned silently into my mouth and let his hand slide a bit lower. Then he suddenly broke the contact between our lips, and I barely managed to contain the small whimper. He rested his forehead against mine with closed eyes.

"That wasn't supposed to happen, but I can't say I'm sorry," he mumbled, and we slowly unwound our limbs from each others. I smiled breathlessly at his swollen lips.

"Night," he whispered and turned to his own room. I watched him go, before I went into my room as well.

After I'd changed into Emmett's big, old, gray college-shirt, that I used as a sleeping dress (it nearly went past my knees), I lay in bed and tossed from side to side. I couldn't sleep. Something missed, something crucial.

I lay there tossing for a long time, but when the bedside clock showed midnight, I gave up. I stilled for a moment, listening for any soft snores from the room next to mine, but heard nothing.

I walked silently from my door to his without light and peeked inside.

"Jasper?" I whispered. The sounds of his duvet stopped.

"Yes?" his deep voice penetrated the silence. I smiled.

"I can't sleep."

"Me either," he said, and I could hear him move again. The beside lamp was switched on, and I saw him sprawling in the middle of his bed. He looked at me.

"Can I sleep in here?" I asked timidly and looked at my tiny feet. I couldn't see him, but I could almost taste his smile in the air.

"Of course, if it'll help," he said, and I looked up to find his arms stretched out for me.

I trotted across the floor and slipped easily into his strong arms. I felt almost immediately drowsy as he turned the lamp off.

"That helped," I mumbled and smiled into his bare chest. I felt him sigh deeply in contentment.

"You can trust them, you know," I whispered. His breathing stilled a second, but he seemed calm enough.

"I know. Just give them some time to get to know me. Please," he whispered pleadingly, and I could do nothing but agree.

"Okay," I sighed, "but you _will_ tell someday."

He didn't answer. His soft snore rumbled in his chest. _It seems like this would be the habit_, I thought as I drifted off to sleep as well.

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**Not very long, but it was something, right? Please, pleasepleaseplease review now, kthxbye :)**


	11. Secrets

**Disclaimer: Own nothing but the plot line and Jasper's gang. Nice. **

_06-06-2010_

A/N at the bottom, ENJOY!_  
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**Secrets**

"So, who is he?" Gianna's voice startled me.

I was in my office at work, editing the last pages. I was the one who made sure everything looked like it should when the magazine hit the streets. A pretty important job, and one that takes a lot of time, I know, but I get paid enough to make it worth it.

I looked up from my computer, confused. "Who?"

She rolled her eyes and looked at me like I was nuts.

"I said, who is he? There's been some rumors all week about you being all hyper and happy, well more than usual. What else, but a new boy toy, could it be?" she said and winked at me playfully. I choked on my coffee.

"You know I'm not the "boy-toy"- kind of girl, Gianna," I managed to say, "And you can actually be happy about other things than boys."

She looked at me with a disbelieving glint in her eye, but scurried off.

Monday had come and passed, as well as Tuesday and Wednesday. We were making an everyday routine, Jasper and I. After waking up curled around each other, he made us breakfast, and we shared a moment together, mostly just kissing. I swear, the things he did with his lips and his tongue was seriously going to kill me someday. Then I dressed properly and went to work as he tried to find any jobs. I came home, showered, ate dinner with Jasper, and we watched TV or talked before going to bed together again. We quickly agreed on sleeping in my bedroom, since it had a bigger bed.

But today was Thursday, and it meant, that it was time for the weekly dinner at Rose and Em's place.

Jasper was nervous. I was exited. We, or I, hadn't really told anyone that we were like, _together_, together. I kinda expected the girls to find out this evening, because I couldn't really help myself. I don't think Jazz could either.

I was already late when I slammed my apartment door behind me, and yelled out that I was home. When I got no answer, I felt a small twinge of worry knot in my stomach. _But_, I thought as I shook off my jacket and hung it on the rack, _it wasn't until tomorrow he's supposed to... _

I turned and saw Jasper standing in the doorway, wearing the biggest smile I have ever seen, revealing a dimple in his left cheek I hadn't seen before. The immediate wave of calm and love I always felt when I saw him made me smile and skip closer.

"Hey darlin'" Jasper murmured against the chaste kiss I pressed to his lips.

"So, what's that big smile for? I hope it's something very good and very quick, 'cause we're already late," I said over my shoulder as I ran past him into my room. His low chuckle followed me. I went straight to the closet and raked though the racks, picking a billowing, light dusty green chiffon shirt with blondes at the square neck. A pair of gray slacks accompanied the shirt well, and I changed quickly. When I went back to the living room, I noticed Jasper sprawling on the couch, already done. His deep red dress shirt was deliciously clinging to his muscles, without it being too much, the two uppermost buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I could faintly see a couple of scars I hadn't noticed before. I prayed his loose, dark jeans didn't stain the light cream couch.

His eyes lit up as he stood when he saw me, and he gave me that big, dimpled smile again.

"Now, tell me why you're smiling so much," I said, walking over and intertwining my fingers with his. I guess I could take just a minute to hear about his day before we had to go.

"Well, I went out yesterday, as you know, but it was actually serving a purpose. So I got a call earlier today, saying I got a job from Monday in two weeks," he beamed. I squealed.

"Oh my God, that's so great!" I hugged him and kissed his cheeks, "Where? Why didn't you tell me anything? Oh my God, Bella's gonna be so happy," I sighed. Jasper laughed and lifted me from the ground, spinning two times before he kissed me softly, but passionately. My toes, dangling more than a foot above the carpet, tingled when his sweet tongue assaulted my mouth. He sighed in content as he pulled away, and I rested my head against his shoulder.

"It feels nice, to settle in like this," he mumbled, the vibrations in his chest making me smile.

"I know," I said, "And now we'll share the good news with Em, Rose, Edward and Bella! I can't wait to see their faces," I squealed at the end. He laughed at me again and lowered me to the floor.

The car ride was silent until we pulled up by Rose and Em's apartment building. I had been in a sort of haze all the way, just being happy that Jasper got a job. It made him staying here so much more _real_. I had secretly gone all week with a dreadful feeling of he'd leave someday. It was gone now.

"Are we gonna' say anything about... ya' know, you and me, _us_?" Jasper asked when I drove into the parking lot. We hadn't really discussed that subject. We just were. I smiled at him.

"They're going to find out anyway, so I don't see why we wouldn't. And they would only be happy. I haven't really been with anyone in a long time. But we could wait if you'd like to," I said reassuringly. He seemed slightly calmed, but still very nervous. I parked the car and took his hand in mine.

"What if I'm not what they want me to be?" he asked and looked at me. I kissed the palm of his hand.

"You've already met them. You know they're nice and not like the friends you had before. Just be you. Come on," I smiled at him. He gave a small smile back, and we walked to the door, hand in hand. I pressed the button and Rosalie's voice filtered through the speaker.

"Hello?" she said.

"Helloo, we're here!" I answered in a sing-song voice. I heard laughter and the door beeped.

"Come on up! You're late," Rosalie said before I head the click of the disconnected line. We went up where everybody was waiting.

In a flurry of hellos, hugs and pats on shoulders, we greeted each other, and I kept Jasper in the corner of my eye the whole time. In the start, his shoulders were very tense and brought up, but he relaxed a bit when we sat at the table. Bella, Jasper and I was seated at one side, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward at the other. The food was delicious, as usual, and everyone had fun and enjoyed the friendly feeling in the air. Jasper fit in. It was like he'd been here forever, the only thing betraying that picture was his words. Of course he didn't know the others as well, so we talked a lot about who they were and what they did. He seemed truly interested. Only once, while we were eating dessert, had he been uncomfortable. That was when Emmett asked about his life in LA.

His right hand fisted on his hidden thigh, me being the only one to notice. I sneaked my left hand to his and took it gently and squeezed to remind him I was there. I saw the corner of his mouth fold in a grateful move, and he squeezed back. I was glad he was left-handed.

"I taught history to high schoolers. Not a big thing, but I liked it," Jasper lied smoothly without a single twitch. It saddened me a bit that he couldn't trust them enough yet, but I smiled giddily as I remembered what he had to tell.

"And you wanted to tell us something, didn't you?" I grinned at him, and he looked at me, the dimple appearing again with his killer smile. He turned back to the others, who looked confusedly and questioningly at us.

"I got a job from Monday in two weeks," he said, and Bella erupted in squeals, much like I did when I first heard his news. She threw her arms around him and hugged him hard. He laughed.

"Oh my god, I can't believe-, this is so amazing, I-, I'm so happy!" she wailed happily into his ear, and he winced, causing Emmett to roar in laughter.

Everybody congratulated Jasper, and the rare dimply smile seemed etched to his face. His mood affected all of us, and we agreed on moving to the living room, to the more comfortable couches.

We chatted, laughed and I picked a movie to see. Rosalie groaned when she saw the well-known cover of "Bulletproof Monk", which I had a thing for. I loved that movie, and even if we had seen it so many times, and they always humored me, and watched it. It had become some sort of tradition to see it every few times we met.

I noticed in the corner of my eye, that Rose whispered something in Em's ear. He grinned and nodded in response.

"Guys, come on, we're gonna fix some snacks," he boomed at Edward and Jasper, who followed him in the general direction of the kitchen. Jasper threw me a single look and the way out - I smiled and nodded in reassurance. He smiled a soft, heart-melting smile he always seemed to save for me and disappeared. I wish I had followed. I didn't know what was about to hit me.

Rosalie and Bella grabbed one of my hands each, and pulled me down to sit between them.

"Spill it. We can practically see the air sparkling between you two," Rose demanded, and I immediately blushed a Bella-ish blush, the blush that covers your whole face and goes all the way down you neck. Bella squealed.

"I so knew it! Do you remember that shopping trip, right before he came? I couldn't stop snickering inside, because I totally knew you two would fit together like two pieces of a puzzle! You're so cute, the looks you gave each other sometimes at dinner, aww," she babbled happily, while I looked nervously at my knees and Rosalie tried hard not to laugh beside me.

"Say something!" Rose said, demanding as always.

"I- umm... I don't know, w-we kissed?" I stuttered, and they both screamed and hugged me. I laughed.

"Aw, that's so cute! When? Where? How was it?" Bella questioned rapidly before I could stop her and I groaned soundlessly.

"We kissed the first time Saturday, as a distraction from the thunder, and oh my, what a distraction," I mumbled, and they squealed again, "And it was in his bed. We were _thisclose_ to getting really busy," cue higher squeals, also from me this time, "and we've been kissing all week."

"Oh my gosh, didn't I tell you?" Bella stated with a look at Rosalie, who nodded.

"We just click. I can't fall asleep if he isn't by my side anymore," I whispered, and they aww'ed and squealed again.

"How was it? How was it? How was it?" Bella was being very me-like, bouncing on the couch beside me, and both me and Rosalie jolted up and down with her.

"Ah-maazing," I said with a roll of my eyes, "He does this thing with his tongue, like he licks the underside of mine, and it really turns me on," I lowered my voice at the end.

They both gasped, hugged me and squealed. We kept on gossiping about the best kissing techniques when we heard a series of loud sounds from the kitchen.

First, a loud booming laughter - Emmett - and shortly after several thumps, followed by a strange squeak, then silence and three seconds later the slam of the door. I was out of the couch by the second thump. I reached the open kitchen door in time to see a flash of red and golden curls slam the outer door shut. _No_! I turned to the kitchen door.

"What did you do?" I screamed desperately at Emmett and Edward, both too shocked to answer at first. I ran up and grabbed Emmett's collar and shook him. Then I noticed his bloody nose. _Shit_.

"What did you do?" I growled again as I shook him, and he seemed to wake up. He looked at me with a strange glint in his eyes. Fear. Rosalie tried to push me away, but I held on.

"What did you do?" I nearly sobbed this time. Emmett shook his head to clear it. Edward was still standing in the same place, but now had one Bella wrapped around him.

"I-I just patted his b-back, ya' know? And then he went all c-crazy and-"

I was already out of the door, screaming, calling his name.

"_JASPER_!"

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**A/N: OMG! AN UPDATE!**

So school's been giving me a hard time! I should be studying right now, actually, I have an exam this tuesday, 8th, and I really need to study on that one...

_But I chose to write this and make you happy instead! :D_

I'm going to start typing next chapter now, and it's going to start in a **JasperPOV**! But Alice will be there as well. This is going to be a lot **darker **now...

_Hello_?(random AnotherCinderellaStory-moment. The old step-mother, ya' know?)**  
** It's been a long time, and I want to know if you're still out there? **  
PLEASE REVIEW**!

Luvs -

Alice.


	12. Regret

_Me_: Hey Emmett? You know what?

_Emmett_: No, what sweetie pie?

_Me_: *squeal* Emmett called me sweetie pie!

_Emmett_: *rolls eyes*

_Me_: Anyway, this is awwwll mine!

_Emmett_: *rolls eyes harder* No, it isn't.

_Me_: *cries* Just pop my happy bubble! *runs off*

**Disclaimer: O...kay, you shoulda' have figured out by now, _that this shit isn't mine_. **

_07-04-10_

_**ECLIPSE BLEW MY MIND!**  
_

A/N at the bottom, as usual. ENJOY(I hope)!

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**Regret**

**JPOV**

Shit. Fuck. Damn. Every curse I knew flew through my head, as the wind wooshed past me. I ran. I ran like a fucking chicken. I didn't have the balls to look them in their eyes and tell them about the real me. I didn't have the balls to look into their eyes and see the disappointment, the hate. I didn't have the balls to look into Bella's eyes and see the hurt.

They didn't deserve to be drawn into a world like mine. I had already drawn Alice in, the girl I wanted to be there at least. Her innocence, her unbelievably pure soul. I had already tainted her in a way that wasn't right. But I needed her.

I knew the need. I tried drugs in LA, another thing I didn't want to tell about. I knew the pull, the way my eyes would cease to see. I knew about the ways it could destroy somebody. I knew I would destroy me, so I quit it. How could a thing so _good_ as Alice destroy anyone?

Her broken scream tore through the night. She called my name. I kept on running, but my feet involuntarily slowed down.

"Jasper!" she half-screamed, half-sobbed. I could hear her running after me in the strangely silent night, and I slowed till a stop, not bothering to turn around to face her when she came running. My cheeks felt cold and wet when I covered my face in my hands and sunk down on my knees.

The padding of her feet came closer, and she was suddenly in front of me, trying to pry away my hands. I lowered them and looked at her tear-filled, beautiful eyes.

"Jasper," she breathed and threw her arms around me. My body shook with wracking sobs as I cried against her shoulder. She made soothing noises and kept on kissing every part of me her lips could reach.

"I'm sorry, I screwed up," I whispered into her shoulder, "I should go back. I don't belong here."

"No, no no no! You belong here!" she whispered back urgently and held me closer, "Don't you remember the way you fit right in in the conversations at the dinner table? Jasper, you belong _here_. You belong right here with Bella, with me," she choked. I shook my head.

"Alice, I-"

"_What the hell were you thinking?_ You. _Broke._ My. _Fiancee's. Nose_!" a screech interrupted me. I flew up and pushed Alice behind me by pure instinct, looking at Rosalie with shock.

She was held back by Emmett, who could barely hold her. She thrashed violently against his arms pinning her own to her sides, her face murderous, her hair wild and whipping all over the place. Emmett tried to calm her down while Edward and Bella showed up. _Great_.

"Shh, Rosie, it's not broken, it's just swollen, I've tried worse," he soothed her, but it had no effect at all. She was frighteningly fierce, and the fighter in me was sure that she could harm me quite a bit before I got her down. She was one of those kinds of people I've had to kill sometimes.

"Oh you, _you_! I'm going to _kill you_!" she screamed and tried one last time to break free. She didn't succeed, but kept on mumbling insults at me. All of my attention was focused on her, cause I didn't see Alice step around me to scream right back at her.

"You don't know the things he's been through! You don't know the things he's fighting _every damn minute_ of his conscious hours! You don't know _anything_!" she screamed, and tears began streaming down her cheeks again at the end. I tried to grab her shoulder and pull her back.

"Alice, don't -"

"Shut up! They should know! They should know you're still marked by the time you were in the hospital," she said, looking fiercely into my eyes before she turned back to the others. Her words confused me a tiny bit, but a horrible feeling started to ball up in the pit of my stomach.

"You all saw Bella that time. You know he was really beaten up. You all know that being attacked like that, in the streets, leaves it's mark, and not only physically," she said through tears. I was a bit confused. She hadn't said anything about the gang yet, and it didn't seem like she would. The others listened in silence, even though Rosalie still fumed.

Alice turned on her heels to face me again and pushed me around so I stood with my side to them. Then she tore my shirt open to display my scars. The electric light of a street lamp made them all cast shadows, making them stand out on my skin.

Gasps filled the air of the night as I ripped it back in place. I wasn't exactly happy about those scars, and I started buttoning the shirt again. A slender, pale and extremely well-known hand stopped me

"Jasper..."

I looked up at Bella. Tears welled up in her eyes and she stepped closer and pushed my hands away. I didn't try to fight it, but let my arms fall limply at my sides. She made an odd sound, something between a sob, a sharp intake of breath and a cry, and touched one of the bigger scars briefly before she fell into my arms and cried. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and rocked her gently from side to side, looking up at the others.

Emmett still held Rosalie from behind like he restrained her, but she was limp in his arms. Both of their mouths was gaping widely. Alice was wrapped up in Edwards arms, similar to Emmett's and Rosalie's stance, but she looked at me with a special glint in her sad eyes. A glint that told me she would lie to the end of the world for me if she had to. It scared me that I felt the same way about her.

I caught Edwards eyes and motioned for him to take Bella. She was still sobbing, but a bit more quiet than before. She sniffed and looked at me when he laid his hands on her shoulders and murmured her name.

"I didn't know it was that bad," she whispered. I managed a broken smile at her.

"I love you, Belly Button," I said, using the nickname I'd called her when we were kids. She smiled softly through her tears.

"I love you too, Jazzy Spazzy," she said with a small, sad laugh in memory and walked towards the apartment building again. Rosalie stepped forward and laid wordlessly a hand om my shoulder before she turned around and followed Edward and Bella. Then I turned to Emmett.

"It's not really broken," Em said with a small grin. I grinned a sad grin back.

"No. I chose not to break it," I answered. He jerked his chin upwards as a goodbye and jogged up to his fiancee. I smirked at him.

A tiny arm went around my waist. "Ready to go home?"

Home. I missed a place to really be home, but this was the closest I had been for five years.

"Yeah, I am."

…

APOV

We reached home silently. My heart still thumped hard, and I still felt the icy shiver down my spine. I had lied.

It felt weird to lie to your best friends. I had betrayed them. But sometimes, it was for the better. Better for them and better for Jasper.

Jasper went straight to his room. I heard some muffled sounds, but I couldn't distinguish them enough to tell what he was doing. I walked past his closed door and further on to my own bedroom. Shuffling around a bit, I found one of Jasper's old t-shirts under the edge of my bed. I held it up for a moment - it was simple, gray v-neck and had a worn, crackled Confederate flag printed on it - and then proceeded to shove it deep under my bed. Then I changed into my sleep wear, a long big tee I got from Emmett once. I sat down at the edge of my bed and sighed.

"Alice?"

I looked up at the sound of his voice. I still got that tiny tingle at the base of my spine when I listened to his deep, silky voice. He looked at me and smiled sadly.

"I'm gonna'... I think I'll sleep in my room tonight," he said and made a small motion with his hands. I just nodded.

"Okay," I whispered and looked back down. A small sigh traveled through the air, and I felt the bed dip beside me, and his arms go around me. I snuggled into his chest a bit, marveling.

"I need to clear some things out in my head okay? I promise I'll... fix things, okay? Everything's gonna be fine," he mumbled against my hair, and I nodded. He kissed me on the top of my head, then my forehead, the tip of my nose and my lips. Just a small chaste kiss, but it was more loving than anything else I have ever felt.

"Goodnight," he whispered, and I whispered my equal response. He raised from the bed and disappeared for nearly the fist time, down the hall to sleep. I laid back on the bed, curling up into a ball, trying to fall asleep without my love by my side.

"_Alice..."_

_The whispering voice was well-known, that deep, silky drawl I would recognize anywhere. It sounded far away._

"_Alice..."_

_I found myself in a dark, seemingly empty, room. It was big, I could hear the echoes from his voice against the ceiling high above me. I stood in the middle, looking around. I longed to find him. I needed to find him, soon, before the others found him._

"_Alice..."_

"_Jasper?" I tried calling back, but a whispery sigh reached my ears._

"_You shouldn't be here. It's not safe. You should go home," his voice came closer and close, and I could faintly see someone tall in the shadows about ten yards in front of me. He was wearing a deep red shirt._

"_Jasper," I called and stepped forward. Then everything shifted._

_The big room was gone, and we stood on a street I didn't recognize. It was suddenly bright, but my eyes didn't need to adjust, it was like I had been in this bright light all day. Jasper was still in front of me, no closer, but not farther away either. I tried taking one step more._

_He was still not moving - or I wasn't. I wasn't coming any closer. He just stood there and looked at me in his deep red shirt. Deep red, soaked shirt. Deep red, bloody and torn shirt. All the scars were open, bleeding. I could see now, that the shirt used to be white. Used to._

_I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I could just watch as he slowly sunk to his knees. _

"_You shouldn't be here... Not.. Safe," he forced out in a whisper. I cried, kicked and screamed, but I couldn't reach him. He fell to his back, twitching in death cramps._

"_Don't leave me, DON'T LEAVE ME!"_

"Alice!"

I woke up screaming.

Someone was trying to calm me, but apparently without success. The screams turned into forceful sobs, that wracked through my body. It made the person holding me, so tightly that I nearly couldn't breathe, shake too.

"Alice! Alice, Alice. Shh, calm down darlin', I'm here now. Shhh, calm down," that someone soothed, and a huge sob shook us again when I recognized the deep drawl. I clawed his chest, trying to draw him closer, ending up with my arms in a choking grip around his neck. He pulled me up on his lap and swayed gently from side to side, kissing my hair again and again. I calmed down slowly and pulled back a little to look at him.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, rubbing my cheekbone with his thumb. It slid easily across my tear-slick skin.

"You were gone," I whispered hoarsely, "You had gone back, and you were dying." The thought made the tears spill down my cheeks again. He closed his eyes briefly and kissed my tears away. The silky feeling made me long for his lips on mine, and I turned my head to seek them out. Our lips met in a soft sigh.

He was careful, too careful at first, but I knotted my fingers in his thick, soft hair, and pressed my lips harder to his. He responded with a low hum and traced my upper lip with the tip of his tongue. I let him in willingly, and his tongue met mine with fire. His other hand went up to hold my face as the other, and he pressed himself closer, his lips showing me his hunger. I kissed him back with the same amount of passion. It never ceased to amaze me, even though it had only been a small week, how he could make my body so alert. His fingers left trails of fire as he traced a long line from the corner of my eye, down the side of my face, my neck and all the way down to my hip, where his hand rested and squeezed lightly. I moaned when his fingertips crossed my breast.

He pulled his lips from mine, but kissed his way to my ear, where he paused and let out a heavy breath. The warm, moist air tickled my ear, and I tightened my fingers in his hair involuntarily. He gave a low growl and tugged on my earlobe with his teeth, making me moan embarrassingly loud as he continued to kiss and lick his way down my neck. I straddled his lap now, and his hands were at my waist slowly inching upwards underneath my shirt. I could feel the goosebumps appearing everywhere.

"Your skin's so soft," he mumbled and brushed his nose against the skin below my collarbone. His Texan accent was a lot stronger as he said that, and I shivered again. He kissed and nibbled my skin, but was stopped by my shirt. I pulled his lips back to mine.

Without breaking the softest, most careful and loving kiss I had ever tasted, he put his arms around me and lifted me as he stood up. I, for once, had to bend my neck a little, because he had lifted me so high that I was taller than him. I released his hair and wrapped my arms around his neck, still playing with the small curls at his neck. He hummed again, and he did that licking-thing with his tongue, making me shiver and moan into his lips. He turned around and laid me gently on my back in the bed, following himself, hovering above me on his elbows, and looked at me.

He didn't ask for any permission - we both knew he already had it. He just gave me the choice, the choice not to take this further, but I ignored his hesitation and pulled him down, and met his lips with mine again in another sweet, slow and sensual kiss. His left hand crept up under my shirt again, and his fingertips brushed against the skin of my lower breast. I arched my back to press my body more firmly against his.

Jasper broke the kiss and moved slightly down and kissed my neck twice, leaving me breathless. Followed his movements with my eyes as he crawled down, placing his knees around my thighs and sat up slightly to grab the hem of my big, gray sleeping shirt. I helped him, crossing my arms in front of my body and dragged the fabric up as he pushed. He leaned down and kissed my body every few inches that became revealed. As he climbed higher, the shirt obscured my view of his head, and because I couldn't see him, the feelings of his soft, silky lips on my skin felt much more intense, and a jolt of fire ran though me every time he touched me. I sighed deeply.

His tongue suddenly flicked one of my erect nipples, and I gasped and moaned as he sucked it in between his hot lips. I ripped the shirt the rest of the way off to get my hands free to touch him, but he captured my wrists in his left hand above my head. He licked his way to my other nipple, and his free hand pinched the one he'd just freed from his mouth. I whimpered.

Pulling back suddenly, he took a long, deep breath, kissed my lips again open mouthed and released my hands, trailing his hand slowly down my body, creating a path of fire. I couldn't stop the gasp as he grabbed my hip hard and pressed himself against me. My fingers went straight to his neck, one hand knotting his curls, the other making red nail scratches down his rippling back. I could clearly feel him against me, and it burned with a slow fire I'd never felt before. His cut off pajama pants was suddenly very much in the way. Our lips parted shortly, and I pulled his head down to whisper in his ear.

"I _want_ you," I sighed and nibbled his earlobe, "_So much_." He responded with a groan, wrapping his arms around my waist and held me so tight as possible, seeking my lips with passion again. Then he slid down my body, leaving a trail of burning kisses. I didn't realize what he did until he licked my ankle and my panties were gone. He'd tugged them all the way down my legs in between the kisses.

He sat up slightly and looked at me, eyes roaming my body. His eyes glinted lustfully, and I felt an odd sense of pride that I could do that. I sat up as well, and grabbed the waistband of his pants and boxers in one and tugged down. He wouldn't let me do it, though, and he gently pried my fingers off and stood to pull them down in a swift manner. Now it was my turn to let the eyes roam.

He had a glorious body. Every plane of his skin was beautiful, hard with muscles, glowing with lust. Before I could really appreciate the sight, he was above me again, kissing me fiercely. I let my hands roam where my eyes couldn't, and was only met by silky skin, sweat and the slightly raised lines all over him. He ground his hips a bit harder to mine, and I opened my legs even more in reflex. He pulled back from our kiss just a little and looked at me. I released a long breath, and he pushed slowly, but securely, all the way into me.

Emotions, feelings and everything swirled around me in a mess, I gasped several times, my body twitching in small spasms. Jasper let out a long groan into my ear, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. I had never felt more alive, whole and _real_ before this very second. Everything went into overdrive as he began thrusting slowly, languidly. He pulled almost all the way out before pushing deep into me again, every time in this excruciatingly slow pace. We silenced all of our moans, whimpers and gasps in each others lips, until my back arched and my head hit the pillows, all the sensations overwhelming me.

I came so hard that I screamed out his name and my breathing cut off for what felt like a very long time. Every time it seemed to dwindle, that the wave's peak had passed, Jasper pushed into me again, and the wave hit me once more, each time a bit bigger than before. When the feeling simply became too much, I wrapped my legs around his waist and tightened them, pushing him deeper into me than before, and he exploded inside me, releasing a loud, guttural sound from his throat, whispering my name over and over. His muscles was tensed, and his back felt like a stiff board in my arms, before he suddenly relaxed and slumped down, for once not keeping his weigh off me. It didn't suffocate me as I thought I would, it felt oddly right.

After a moment or two, he rolled over to lay beside me, and propped himself up on his elbow. I sighed as his fingertips drew lazy patterns on my stomach. His eyes followed their path across my skin. We were silent, just enjoying the afterglow.

"You know," I said quietly, turning around to face him, "I've had guys that made me come several times in one night, but I'd still prefer this."

He smiled cockily and slid his arm around me, pulling me closer.

"Who said I was done?" he grinned and leaned in to kiss my neck again. I tilted my neck back, moaning a little before speaking.

"I did," I mumbled, and he pulled abruptly away, looking at me with a mix of rejection, hurt and confusion swirling in his eyes.

"It's not that I don't want to, _God_, I want you so much," I whispered, rolling my eyes a bit in memory and traced his abs with a finger, "But I have work tomorrow."

"Okay," he mumbled, pulling my body flush against his. I wrapped my arms around him, sighed contently and nuzzled my nose against his chest. The movement made him utter a very sweet and girly sigh, making me giggle. He kissed the crown of my head and squeezed me once. I wiggled my way upwards, so my head was at the same level as his, my toes barely reaching the middle of his shin. His icy blue eyes sparkled dimly, and he reached up to caress my cheek bone with his thumb. I smiled slightly and cupped his jaw in my hand. His answering grin was big and boyish. We both moved forward at the same time, brushing our lips together in a chaste kiss. I kept my eyes closed for a minute after he pulled back, my smile getting bigger as he touched my bottom lip with his thumb.

"It feels so... special. Kissing you like that."

His deep voice rumbled quietly in his chest. My eyelids fluttered open, my eyes meeting his. The wide smile I'd been sporting broke into a grin.

"It feels like this is where I'm meant to be, right here in your arms," I whispered. He smiled softly again, kissing me chastely once, twice again before pressing his lips shortly to my forehead. I almost melted into a puddle right there.

"Right from the first day, it was like... every time I touch you, I'm fine. Like I'd been in pain and hadn't noticed, but your touch made it stop," he murmured and watched as I intertwined our fingers. I kissed them lightly.

"I know," was the only thing I said and met his smoldering eyes again. We met in the middle and kissed again. He was so gentle, parting his lips and deepening the kiss slowly. We rolled around so he was hovering halfway above me again, his hands sliding sensually against the skin of my body, down to my thigh and up to my waist over and over. His caresses seemed to bring out feeling I'd never known before. I pushed at his shoulders a tiny bit, and as the gentleman he was, he pulled back and looked at me. I smiled up at him.

"I love you," I whispered, nearly too low for him to hear. I saw first shock pass in his eyes shortly, but then just warmth. He placed his hands on either side of my head, briefly brushing his thumb across my skin in a caress. His eyes flickered between the two of mine.

"I love you," he whispered back at me. My smile softened as he leaned in and kissed me like I was the most precious thing in the world.

**- o -**

Two weeks later, I was still trying to accept the fact that he had disappeared in the morning before I woke up, only leaving his new phone, a single red rose and a note behind.

_It's for the best. I love you_, was all it said.

I didn't make it to work that day.

* * *

_**A/N: (Please read) **_

Hello fellow fanficters(yes, I just made that up)! I am happy to present to you...  
**CHAPTER 12! **I know, right? _Twelve_? Gosh, and I have so much more to write...

**I'm sorry for the delay. **I was actually finished writing the chapter, like, two days after last update, but when I went through it to edit,  
I realized I didn't like it, and then I _deleted the whole thing._ Yup, I deleted a whole chapter, around 4,500 words, and wrote _this_.

**DAMN**!  
I wasn't expecting this. _Really_. It just kinda wrote itself. When I went through it, I was like, _WHAT_? the first time, because I hadn't realized what I really wrote, and it shocked me a bit, because I had _never _imagined or thought about something like this. I had another idea for this story, but that'll have to wait. This'll only mean that it'll be longer!  
And that's good, right?

I would like to make a **new tradition**, too. Every chapter from now on, I will recommend a **Danish song**! How's that?  
It'll always be a Danish band or singer, but it may be with English lyrics.

This chapter:

**The Rumour Said Fire** performing **The Balcony**.

Listen to it 3276 times. It'll only get better.

I'm a _tinytiny _bit disappointed too. **I only got half of the reviews I usually get**! Did I loose everyone? Hello? *sniffle*  
Anyway, just _**please review**_, okay? The reviews are the reason for this. I wouldn't have made it so far without you guys!  
And I know that 48 of you had this on alert, so you all read it. *pointed looks* I know who you are!

**_Just review, okay?_**

_Luvs -_  
_Alice._


	13. Gone

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot. That is original, though._

**A/N: I can't believe it. I finished another chapter. Maybe it's because I got a new computer, a small pink one! It's really cute. ANYWAY!  
I hope you're sticking with me after all this time. I know I've let you down, and I hate it, but this is seriously something like the 3235876th time I've written this chapter, and finally, it seemed to be the way I wanted it. Not quite, but it's so close, and I doubt I can do it better right now. I really hate writers block.  
I know you don't owe me a thing, more like I owe you thousands of chapters, but I'd like to pass 100 reviews on this one... I'm so close! Please? Maybe it would help me get further motivated to spit another chapter out before this year is over. I could try... with a little help from my friends! *starts singing***

**And Merry Christmas to anyone celebrating that! Happy Hanukkah and all that jazz. I don't know what you're celebrating, or if you are celebrating at all, but I would be happy to hear what you do. Thanks!  
**

_12-12-10_

* * *

**Gone**

I sighed as I fell into the office chair behind my desk. Paperwork was strewn across the tabletop, making the small room look disarrayed, as well as the many binders stuffed into the bookshelf without any sort of order. Balls of crumpled paper filled the overflowing bin and a few adorned the floor around it. I'd lost the interest in keeping my office clean about half a year ago, but the last twenty days had been a complete mess. I had been offered a new office, but I declined. I liked this office, and now, with all the experiences tied to it, it was hard to let go. Even if it was very, very bad experiences. I deserved it.

Picking up a few papers, I listened to the faint sounds of the training that came through the walls. A muffled yelp made me twitch, and I threw the papers on top of a big pile of all kinds of papers. I should clean it up and sort it into binders like I did before, but I couldn't. Nothing really mattered anymore. The school on the other side of the wall – my baby – didn't matter. I'd used a lot of time in it, both teaching and learning, but I didn't care anymore.

I had come to see all the bad things about this life in a much clearer view. I had always known that it wasn't exactly _good_, but never had I been more aware of just how bad it was. Since the incident half a year ago, I'd mostly done paperwork. I couldn't bare to be in the field, so to speak, and the others respected that. They knew how much I lost that night.

James had given me a week off to go and see Bella and her new friends, because he thought I'd get better. And I did, in some way, 'cause I didn't show it all anymore. But I had also more to hide.

Nothing had ever pained me more than the thought of what I left behind in New York, and I honestly doubt anything ever would. And it wasn't Bella, who was on my mind.

Alice had suddenly come to mean everything to me in less than a week. I hated myself for leaving, but it was way too dangerous to stay with her. They would somehow find me if I disappeared, and she would be harmed, possibly killed. It was better to leave.

The worst thing was that I not only had admitted to myself, but also to her, that I loved her, and I knew she loved me back. Her whispered confession had been a surprise, a very pleasant one indeed, and even if she had protested earlier and was supposed to go to work the next day, we made love again after that.

A creak from the door disturbed me from my thoughts. "Jay?"

My long-time friend, Peter, stood in the doorway. I looked at him, collecting my feelings once again to hide inside myself. "Yes?"

"Someone's here to see you, but I'd like to have a word with you first," he said and stepped into the room and closed the door, giving me a clear message saying that I didn't have a choice. I sighed again and leaned back in the chair. He removed some papers that took up space on the chair in front of the desk and sat down.

"I reckon I don't have a choice. What do you want?" I said, even hearing the clearly bitter note in my voice myself.

"Jay, you're not the same anymore. You used to like this, used to _live_ this, but it's like you've dropped it all on the floor. What happened?" Peter said with genuine concern. It was rare that someone really cared in this business, and it surprised me a bit at the same time as it angered me.

"Of course I'm not the same. Drew died, Pete, he died. He was my best mate, nearly like a brother to me, you know that. It's bound to make it's mark," I said. My voice wasn't friendly.

"It's been half a year. Shouldn't it be easier with time?" he said cautiously. He knew not to mess with me, but I decided for once not to keep up the charade.

"It probably should, but it isn't," I sighed, and he seemed a bit shocked by the sudden display of weakness. He watched as I leaned forward, placing my elbows on the desk to rest my head in my hands. I hid my face for a second.

"Something happened at your vacation, right? You haven't been the same since," he stated. I looked at him, and the refection of my own face in his eyes scared me.

No one knew where I had been. I hadn't told then in fear of my new – and surely now former – friends' lives. If I ever ran away from the gang, the first thing they would do, would be to find Bella, and I wouldn't let Bella suffer more because of me. Even if I hated to stay, it was the better alternative.

"Something happened, yes, but it's none of your business," I said, and signaled the conversation's end by leaning back in my chair again and shuffling with some papers. I heard Peters sigh.

"As I said before, I'm not leaving you alone. Someone's here to see you, and we don't know who she is. She doesn't seem trained in any other fashion than basic self-defense. Should I bring her up here, or will you come down in the bar?" he then said, suddenly back in business-mode. I closed a binder and looked up at him.

"Bring her up here. It's more quiet," I decided. He nodded and left the office again. I wondered who would show up to talk with me. It was an unknown person and even a woman. Despite what the other guys said, I wasn't the one to turn to women.

There was a knock on the door. Peter was quick. I called for them to come in, moving to stand in front of the bookshelf, feigning that I had been putting the binder back to where it belonged. My height and size often intimidated people, and I preferred to stand when I was to meet new people I knew nothing of, especially in this kind of environment.

"Jay, this woman said you know her," Peter said, and mumbled for the woman to step forward. Her heels clicked on the wooden floor.

"It really is you," she spoke in a soft, angry and dangerously well-known voice. I felt my muscles stiffen in my back as I turned around to face her. She wore a demonic smirk, her beauty magnified by a tight, strapless red dress and ridiculously high heels. Her loose curls was pinned back into a bun on the back of her head. A golden necklace gleamed in the dim light, making her skin look smooth and soft. My mouth turned dry as a desert.

"I didn't expect to see you here. Peter, you can leave," I forced out without looking at him. He left and closed the door behind him. The soundproof doors had also been a reason for me not to change offices. I thanked whoever installed them now, cause I knew this wasn't going to be pretty.

"So... What do you want?" I hissed.

**- o -**

**APOV**

I thought I had everything. But I lost it all in a second.

I barely remember anything from the first few days. Everything was a blur pain and tears, and occasionally a soothing voice accompanied by a couple of arms around me. Sometimes someone trying to make me eat, but I kept refusing. The whole first week had been like I was standing beside myself, watching. It felt so unreal that anyone could feel so much pain. Yet, I didn't cry.

The second week, I lost the feeling of watching my own heartbreak. I practically lost all feeling. I walked around like a zombie while everyone tried to make me feel better.

Bella mentioned moving out of the apartment.

Edward said I should seek out someone professional.

Emmett lost his normal joking personality, but tried desperately to make me laugh again.

Rosalie was livid, but strangely quiet about the whole thing.

Edward called mom. She came, and the first thing she did was to engulf me in a huge hug. Then I let go and cried. I cried and she cried with me for hours. She didn't try to soothe me with words, 'cause she knew it would be unfruitful. She just held me, rocking me gently from side to side. I felt like I was five and had just gotten a skinned knee. I wish it was so simple.

The dreams went crazy too. It was always the same, that dream of him telling me that it wasn't safe, and then falling to the floor, bleeding, dying. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that. I became afraid of sleep. My mom called my work and arranged for me to have seven weeks of leave. I knew I needed it. I felt so pathetic. How could a guy do this to me? I've tried it before. I've been dumped before, but it was so different.

I never loved any of those guys.

Twenty days had passed. Rose was away on a trip, something with her work, she said. Bella was working as well as Edward and Emmett. I was cooped up in my apartment. I haven't been outside my apartment in all this time, and I rarely left my bedroom. When it was put like that, I began to feel a bit claustrophobic. My heart hammered, miraculously – it was a wonder it still beat after it had been shattered like that. Beads of cold sweat pebbled on my forehead, and I reacted by throwing on some clothes, not even bothering to check how I looked, before I ran out the door.

I ended up in the park. People was gathered there, walking their dogs, playing with their kids, enjoying a picnic under the big trees. I walked around for a bit, enjoying the nice weather as well, and tried to get my mind off myself, focusing only on the families and other peoples happiness. I found a bench that overlooked most of the open area, so I sat down, turning to face the sun. I needed the vitamin.

Suddenly, a small sniff interrupted my fragile peace. I turned towards the sound and saw a small young girl, only three or four years old, look around frantically, obviously searching for her parents. I stood up and went over to her to kneel in front of her. She looked frightened, sniffed again and rubbed her nose with her wrist.

"Hey," I said gently, smiling a small smile. It felt so foreign to me.

"Hi," she whispered and looked down. I reached out and wiped a tear away from her cheek. She hiccuped.

"Are you lost?" I asked her, shifting to a more comfortable position. She nodded and hiccuped again before big fat tears began rolling down her cute, chubby cheeks.

"I w-want my m-mommy," she cried, and I embraced her lightly. My shirt was ruined by the tears and snot, but I didn't care.

"Shh now," I cooed gently, rocking her from side to side, "We'll stay right here, and they'll come to find you, okay?" I soothed her while patting her hair. It was a strange mix between red, bronze and blonde and curled in large ringlets. She was utterly adorable. "What's your name?"

"I'm M-maggie," she stuttered and sniffed again. I let her go and stood up, taking her small hand in mine.

"Okay Maggie, my name is Alice. We'll sit right over at that bench, okay?" I asked and pointed at the bench I had been sitting at just before. She nodded and we began to walk over there. "One of the best thing you can do if you get lost is just to stay where you are. Then, when mommy is trying to find you, it'll be easier, because you wont go to another place when she finds the place you were before, right?" I said, trying to simplify my thoughts. It seemed like she got it and she nodded. We sat down and I coaxed her into chattering about what she had been doing before she got lost. Soon she forgot her misery and babbled away as I listened, smiling, laughing and nodding. I felt a small tug in my heart. I never wanted kids before, but Maggie brought up something in me I didn't know I had.

"My real name is Magnolia," she whispered to me, giggling, "but Daddy always just calls me Maggie. I like it better," she said beaming. I giggled with her and mussed her hair. She laughed a incredibly cute little laugh.

"Maggie? Maggie, where are you? Oh, Maggie!" I heard someone yell in the distance. I turned around and saw a couple running towards us. The woman had the same curls as Maggie, but lighter, as the man had darker reddish hair. It was obviously her parents, and she sprang up, screaming "Mommy! Daddy!", and ran at them. The woman fell on her knees and wrapped the small grinning girl in her arms. Her dad also knelt down and wrapped his arms around both of his girls. The sight almost made me cry.

"Maggie, we were so worried! Don't ever do that again," the mother gasped through tears. Maggie looked down, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry mommy, daddy. But Alice helped me!" she grinned again and pointed at me. Her parents turned to look at me with shock and immediate gratitude. The father came towards me.

"Thank you so much," he said with a voice full of emotions and shook my hand. The mother came forwards and gave me a one-armed hug, as Maggie was in the other arms, resting on her hip. I tickled Maggie, and she giggled.

"We'll be in debt to you forever," the mother said reverently, but I shook my head.

"No, it's nothing. I'm just happy to help. And this little one," I said and poked Maggie's nose, making her wrinkle it and giggle again, "knows what to do the next time she get lost, right?"

"Yep, I just stay and wait," the small girl sang and laughed again. Her parents looked so relieved that they could pass out. The mother kept thanking though.

"If there's anything we can do, please say," she tried again, but I still shook my head.

"We could at least give her a free dinner for her and her friends at the restaurant," the father said, "Lizzie, find one of the cards in your bag."

The mother, Lizzie, rummaged through her bag with her child-free arm and let her hand emerge with a small business card. _Santiago's_, it said,_ New York's finest Italian restaurant._ He took it and scribbled something on the back before giving it to me.

"Give this to the waiter when you come in. One of us will always be there. We will be delighted to give you the finest table and make you our best dishes. Bring some friends, they are welcome too," he smiled as I took the card. Below a picture and the name of the restaurant, there was an address. I recognized it from the magazine as being one of the best, if not the best. Two names were written, Max and Lizzie Santiago.

"Thank you, this is too much," I said with a sincere smile. They both denied, shaking their heads. Maggie giggled again, and I smiled at her. "Four friends isn't too much?" I asked. They shook their heads again.

They thanked me again and went back to their picnic table. Maggie waved at me over Lizzie's shoulder, and I waved back, trying not to cry. I wanted to be a part of a family like theirs, with a loving husband and a sweet child like Maggie, possibly two. But that dream had been shattered before I really realized that I had it. I smiled one last time to Maggie and turned quickly to hurry before I started to cry. I needed to pick up some groceries and other things, and I wouldn't let anyone see me with red frog-eyes and make-up running.

**- o -**

**BPOV**

I sighed as I locked myself into the apartment I now shared with Edward. The thought that earlier had exited me like nothing else, didn't really mean anything anymore. I still loved Edward and I would never leave him, don't get me wrong, but the whole thing with Alice had taken the joy out of all of us. I knew Edward blamed himself for hosting the party that made Jasper come here, but I knew no one was responsible for this. If anyone, it would be Jasper, but I couldn't get myself to blame him either. Rose, Edward and Em had no troubles on that matter, but I'd known Jasper for so long, and I knew he wouldn't leave without a valid reason. We were all a bit shocked about the whole thing with Emmett's nose, and I thought it might was that, that made him leave. But somehow, it still made no sense.

Edward wasn't home yet. A flicker of sadness rose in my heart, because I missed him, and needed him to hold me right now. He was normally able to make me forget anything just by holding me in his arms.

I wished Alice would break out of her shell. She'd been locked up in her apartment in nearly three weeks, and we all missed her. We saw her often, to bring out groceries and other stuff she needed, but we missed the real Alice, the one she was before. I knew Alice herself wouldn't trade her week with Jasper for anything, and that her sadness now was the price to pay, but sometimes I caught myself wishing he never came. Every time I thought that, I felt so bad afterward, 'cause I loved Jasper like a brother, and I was truly happy when he was here. I couldn't decide if I was glad or sad that he came.

I began taking things out from the cupboards and the fridge, preparing to cook dinner. I wondered if Alice needed anything, and if I should make a little extra, so I could stop by our old apartment to drop some home cooked dinner off for her. My string of thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door closing.

"Hello love. I missed you," Edward mumbled into my neck while wrapping his arms around me from behind. I hummed and turned to kiss him. I loved that we were alone and that every day, we would come home and greet each other the same way. It was like we were already married – ugh – and I was the lovely housewife. We eagerly pressed our lips together as Edward rubbed my empty finger. I pulled away and laughed.

"No, not now. You know I wouldn't do that to Rose," I smiled at him, he scowled in the general direction of the shelf, aiming for one of the photographs of Rose. "I'm sorry."

He smiled at me. "Don't be. It's not your fault, and truthfully not Rose's either. I know she wants her fairy tale wedding with all the attention on her and her happiness, and I'll be happy to give that to her. I just wanted they'd marry next week," he winked and sat down at the table, newspaper in hand. I laughed at the picture when my cellphone rang.

"Hello, it's Be-" I began, but was cut off.

"B-bells! I n-need you, p-please," Alice sobbed through the line. I dropped the can of pineapples, I had been trying to open and began pacing in the kitchen. Edward looked up at the clunk and watched me with worried eyes.

"Calm down Alice, what's wrong?" I demanded. Worry started to form a knot in my stomach. She'd never called this way before.

"It's all w-wrong! He was s-supposed t-to be here w-when this h-happened!" she sobbed, stuttering in her words. I wondered what happened.

"Alice, should I come over? Do you want me to be there?" I asked, already heading out to get my coat, Edward hot in my heels. He mouthed _what?_ at me, but didn't interrupt further when I shook my head.

"Bella, I need him," she whispered so brokenheartedly that my own heart began to crack. Edward tried to tell me something without speaking, but I didn't understand his wavings and mouthings. I narrowed my eyes warningly at him, telling him without words to shut up, and he finally did.

"What happened, Alice? What's wrong?" I asked, trying to shrug my coat on without having to remove the phone from my ear. Edward stepped up and helped me.

There was silent for a minute. I tried to hurry as much as I could, and was already halfway out of the door when Alice's whispered words sounded through the line and I froze.

"Bella, I'm pregnant."

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**A/N: Giant cliffhanger, and there's two of them in one chappie. Make me write more.**

**Okay, I want to know who you think Jasper is talking to! It seems obvious, but it isn't... Tee hee.**

**I hope I get to hear from you... 100 reviews... Please! I'll respond to everything! And then, when you have reviewed and read my response, you wait for the next chapter. Feel free to enjoy yourselves with another story of mine, a oneshot called Valentine's Day Of The Year. It's JxA as well as AH. I hope I'll get the next chapter done before 2011, but who knows. I might upload another oneshot instead. Keep updated!**

**Loves, loves and lots of loves**

**_Stacie _xoxo**


	14. Explanations

_Feb. 21. 2011_

**Disclaimer: Alice, Jasper and all the other characters do not belong to me. I'm merely taking them out to play. The plot is mine, and I would be very sad if you stole it.  
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A/N at the bottom.

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**Explanations**

**Rosalie POV**

I watched him walk back and forth in the small office like a caged tiger. High piles of papers were strewn everywhere, and I could easily tell from the dates on the binders in the bookshelf how long these piles had been growing. A little less than seven months. I doubt the only thing that happened that night was a simple attack.

I'd been searching for a month. I started already after the party, having seen the mean punch he threw at Tyler. There was something well-known about the way he moved and talked, the way his eyes automatically searched a room when he entered. I knew that type, and I didn't like it. I'd found and caught many types like Jasper, and my first instinct was to immediately search through his background. What I found didn't please me.

I still wonder if Alice knew. I seriously doubt she would look at him with those eyes if she did. Maybe she was more tolerant than I. Maybe she knew better than I did, but I doubted. Like I said, I knew these kinds of guys, and it wasn't good things I knew. The cover-up story about his scars was good, albeit a lie. I found out about the attack, and heard about how hard is was for him to lose his best friend. Seeing now how he stopped caring since then, I felt a flicker of hope that he really wanted to be free of them. But then again, I knew this environment. The anger burned inside my veins.

"I found you. At last," I said in a silky smooth voice. He paused for a second and looked at me sharply. I couldn't read his eyes, but his whole body was tense.

"How?" he hissed. I smirked angrily again.

"Well, there's a lot of things you don't know, Jasper. A lot of things no one knows. And I would appreciate if we kept this little meeting between the two of us like that," I smiled pleasantly, dangerously. He clenched his hands into fists. "This little licence makes me able to do almost everything I want to, and the laws of several states cannot stop me. Therefore, I was able to find you. Don't ask how, I just was."

"I don't want you here. What if -" for a second, he squeezed his eyes closed hard before reopening them, "_she_ finds out and comes here? I don't want her here at all. They'll kill her for knowing. Nothing I could say would save her," he ended in a whisper, slumping down in his chair. He suddenly seemed so vulnerable, and it was hard to keep being mad at him.

"Then why did you leave in the first place?" I snapped, slamming my hands against his desk. He jolted at the sharp sound. For the first time, I was able to read his eyes.

"I hate it here," he whispered and the absolute heartbreak in his eyes nearly softened me, "but I can't let any of you be exposed to the risk of knowing me. James is going to kill anyone who keeps me away from LA. I can't let it happen!"

I sighed and drew my hands back from the tabletop. "Okay, I see you did it to protect Bella and our innocent lives, fine! But why tell us all that you got a job and wanted to settle and everything when you just left?"

"I thought I could do it. I hoped I could hide and forget, but that thing with Emmett – I really am incredibly sorry -"

"I'm still blaming you for that one."

"- convinced me that I'm just not the right kind of person to do that kind of thing, to live that kind of life. I've had this life pattern for too long. I'm just not suited for your lifestyle. I had to leave, to protect you from what I am. It didn't make it any easier for anyone that we fell in love, but -"

"You _what_?" I screeched. He looked at me, surprised and scared. I threw my arms in the air.

"Alice hasn't said anything at all to us!" He flinched at her name, but I ignored it. "She hasn't even gotten out of her apartment! She wouldn't _talk_ the first week!" I screamed at him. He shrunk back into his chair and hid his face in his hands. I began stomping back and forth in front of his desk.

"She won't ever want to see me again," he rasped and looked up at me again with already red-rimmed eyes. I snorted.

"Well, I wish it was so, but she'd probably throw herself into your arms, if you should ever come back. Alice is not the kind of person who hold grudges," I snarled at him, "but I'm not like that. I will never, and I repeat, _never_ forgive you for this."

For a second, I could feel him letting go of himself and his feelings. A sudden pressure seemed to weigh down my soul, and the complete and utter misery shone in his eyes. I nearly gasped at the feeling, and he looked down at his hands again, just in time before a tear drop landed on his finger. He covered his face with his hands again, and I had never seen such a big man seem so small. I walked slowly around the desk and knelt down beside him, gently putting my arms around his shaking shoulders. At first, he just sat, his muscles tense as I held him, but after a moment, he slowly wound his arms around me and rested his face on my shoulder. His cheek was hot and wet and felt much like Alice's had felt a couple of weeks ago.

"Look, I'll never forgive for this, but I know you can make it better. Alice needs you, more than anything. I don't think anyone really realised how much before you were gone. I'll help you fix things, both here and back home if you swear never to leave her again, okay?" I whispered. He pulled back and looked at me with steely eyes, wiping the wetness of his cheeks.

"Yes, I swear."

I smiled at him before hugging him again. Jasper smiled faintly, concentrated, and the heavy feeling in the air disappeared slowly. He scrunched his brow and stood up, immediately beginning to flap through the paperworks on the desk.

"We'll need some kind of blackmail to keep him from killing anyone. I need to save as much evidence as possible, and..." he started mumbling, and I smiled a harsh smile. He was definitely a business person. I turned my back on him and started looking through the files as well.

My private phone started beeping. I pressed the tiny button behind my earlobe, my focus staying on the papers in my hands.

"It's Rose, wha-" I started, but was interrupted.

"Oh God Rose, you need to come home _right now_!" a shrill voice greeted me.

"Bells, what's wrong?" I said, furrowing my brow and lowered the paperworks. I could feel Jasper slow down and focus on my back.

"It's Alice! She's... She... you just have to come home," she rushed. I heard some rustling in the background.

"Bella, slow down, I don't understand. What's wrong with her?" I demanded, turning around to rest my butt against the shelf. Jasper froze, his eyes on my invincible earpiece.

"It's just that... It's hard to explain, I-" Bella started, but I heard her being interrupted.

"Bells, it's not hard to explain. Frankly, it's quite simple. Give me the phone."

Alice's voice was somehow completely different and still the same. Her tone gave me chills down the spine.

"Hey Alice," I said softly when I head a rustle and a sigh. Jasper jerked violently.

"Hey Rose," she answered. Her tone was hard to decipher, one big mess of happy and sad feelings, but the most dominant was melancholy.

"What's all this yapping about, and why can't you keep Bells down? You know how she can go into overdrive," I joked lightly. Alice giggled weakly before a sob broke through.

"It wasn't meant to be this way," she whispered, the tears now thick in her voice. "I wanted it all to be perfect, I wanted this, just a little... later."

"What are you talking about?" I said, now truly worried. Bella fuzzed a lot more than Alice, and if Alice was like that, she could be talking about something lethal.

"Rose, I'm pregnant."

Crickets. Not even those made a sound in my head.

"I don't think I really caught that, what did you say?" I forced out in a friendly, but flat voice. Alice sighed.

"I said I'm pregnant. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me and J-jasper before, but I kinda wanted to keep it to myself," she whispered. A warm hand on my fist made me notice the crumbled papers in my hand. I ignored him, but released the papers.

"Gosh Alice, this is... something else. I'll be home as soon as I can," I said and smiled, "I'll even bring back a gift to make you feel better."

"You don't need to come home. Stay where you are, you know how Bella can overreact," she said, and I could faintly trace a smile in her voice.

"I'm not overreacting!" I head Bella scream in the background. It made me giggle a little.

"Alice, I want to. I'll see you soon, okay?" I said. I felt Jasper's presence move away.

"See you soon," Alice responded, and the line went dead.

It was silent for a minute before Jasper groaned.

"It's my fault, isn't it? I should never had come to New York," he mumbled to himself. I glared at him.

"Yes, it's your fault, more than you know," I snarled. He looked at me with those heartbroken eyes. "Just find what you need to find quickly, so we can go back to New York."

"You still want me to come with you? After you know what I did?" he asked me incredulously.

"Look, Alice is like the sister I never had, and I want her to be happy. I know she wont be happy without you. And I don't think what you did is what you think," I said while shuffling through papers, skimming them easily for crimes like I was used to. I picked out ten pages. "These could be handy."

"Then, what did I do?" he asked. His shoulders were hunched as he flicked through the big binders. He too picked out several pages.

"You'll have to find out when you get back," I insisted lowly, "I won't be the one to tell you, I think Alice would want that for herself." I was reaching the bottom of the pile of papers, and the dates showed about the time of Jasper's attack.

"Jasper, what really happened that night? You know, the scars," I asked softly. The rustling of his papers slowed.

"I was on my way to some club I don't remember with three of my friends, when two of them went home, they said they were tired. Drew and I went on, but was stopped about halfway. Drew didn't make it through," he said, his voice crackling slightly at this Drew-person's name. "Drew was my best friend. We shared most of the job around the school. After he died, I had to do it all by myself, and I managed it, still does, but I lost the interest. Everything reminded me of Drew and how he died for no reason, and I began to see all the wrongs in what we do. So I decided to leave, but I needed a hole. This one week of holiday was enough, no one knew where I was going, no one wanted to know. But I wasn't strong enough," he ended lowly. I nodded and continued picking thought the papers.

"Thanks for telling me," I said as friendly as I could. I didn't want him to think I was sarcastic. "You need to be honest when you get home. Does anyone even know?"

"Alice knows," he mumbled, surprising me.

"She knows? And loves you anyway? Don't get me wrong, but I would run away screaming," I said earnestly. He barked a cold laugh.

"Loves me? I doubt it. Loved me, maybe, but she doesn't love me any more, I'm sure of that. And I kind of hoped she would," he admitted. I smiled softly.

"If Alice loved you then, she loves you now," I stated and met his eyes. A faint, but strong hope shimmered in his eyes, and the corner of his mouth pulled up slightly. I smiled wider and turned back to the papers. "Alice is the kind of girl that would wait forever for the right guy, and if she just once saw you as that guy, she won't -" I stopped myself with a gasp. The papers I held was dated the fourth of March.

"Rosalie? What's wrong?" Jasper said worriedly and came to stand beside me. The papers shook in my hand.

"It was them. They did it. Oh my God, the had been ordered to do it," I whispered and looked up at him. His eyes were confused and asked me silent questions. I looked back at the papers.

"M-max. Alistair. They were with you that night, right?" I asked with a shaking voice. I could see him nod out of the corner of my eye.

"It was them. It says right here, 'Max and Alistair went with bar with Drew and Jasper, said goodnight, went back and fulfilled the order. Failed to do J, D done.' Signed, Max, Alistair and James." I looked at Jasper again, frightened for what he he might do.

He was absolutely frozen, staring out in the air. The only thing that changed in a long time was his eyes. They went through a long range of emotions, but ended with furious anger. The look frightened me.

"I'm going to tear him down. I'm going to get him in jail for so long that he won't remember how real life is," he snarled, his looks and voice a thousand times more dangerous than mine. His voice tore the air with ice, his eyes burning in anger. He looked at me again. "Let's do this."

I nodded, still a bit frightened, but also grimly happy. Another gang leader was going down. Just another day in my secret job.

~o~o~o~

**Alice POV**

The world looked new to me. It was strange how such a small thing, extremely small thing could change everything.

I vaguely remembered going to the supermarket after saying goodbye to Maggie, the little girl. As I reached the shelves with the tampons and such, I realised I was several weeks late. All my life, well, since I was fourteen, I had been a regular bleeder. I should have had my period just after... he left, but I was too caught up, so to speak, to realise, that I didn't start like normal. It made me dizzy to think about, but at the check out, I grabbed a test and stuffed it between a bag of frozen vegetables and a glass of peanut butter. The lady at the check out looked at me, and I tried to give her an exited look. Her face told me I failed.

It was probably the worst minutes of my life, but the two small pink lines changed the world for me. I freaked out at the beginning, but I began to see the good things about it a couple of minutes later, just before Bella arrived, one speeding ticket richer. She was out of her mind in worry, but I was just happy. A little melancholic, but still happy. Bella called Rose faster than I could say 'Don't', and Rose promised to come some as soon as she could, and she said she would bring a present to make me feel better. I already wondered what it was. Would it be something for the baby?

One and a half day had passed since then, and I'd begun to feel a slight sickness sometimes. Not enough to make me puke, but enough to make me lose my appetite on some things, like peanut butter, which sucked, 'cause I just bought a new jar. I loved the taste of cucumbers, though, and ate them all the time, making me pee all the time, too.

Bella had just left for the airport to pick up Rose. Rose had insisted on me staying home. Apparently, she wanted me to stay calm, reminding me to think for two people. It made me smile every time I thought of it.

I was cleaning my apartment. I had really neglected it when I was down, and it was about time I began doing something. Sometimes, I paused in the middle of all the cleaning, sometimes when vacuuming, other times when I dusted off the shelves, just to rest my hand on my lower stomach with closed eyes to imagine a child, a little boy with eyes as blue as his father and golden curls on his head, a little boy who would grow past my head when he was ten, and not stop before he was as tall as his father. More than once, it made tears spring to my eyes, tears of happiness, of course.

My cell beeped, and I went to pick it up.

"Hey Rose," I greeted happily. I heard the sound of the road beneath tires in the background.

"Hey Alice, I'll be there soon, would you unlock the door for me? I don't have a key on me, and Bella is going home," she said, her voice a little strange, but still normal and happy as well. I smiled, even though she couldn't see it.

"Of course, I'll unlock it right now," I said and went to the door, "I can't wait 'till you get here. I've been cleaning the apartment, so it looks nice again, and I want that present!" I sang, and couldn't help but move my free hand to my stomach again. "Is it something for my little baby?"

I heard her laugh.

"Well, yes it is, but it is also for you," she said, her voice turning soft. I smiled.

"Sounds cute," I said and she giggled abruptly.

"Yes, it's really cute," she laughed loudly. Someone spoke lowly to her.

"Is that Bells?" I asked, beginning to dust off the shelves above the couch.

"Err... Yes, but she can't talk right now, she's driving," Rose said hurriedly. I furrowed my brow and slowed my dusting, but then shrugged and squeezed my cell between my ear and shoulder to lift a photo of Edward, my parents and I.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you in a moment!" I smiled. I heard her sigh.

"Yeah, I'll be there. See ya'."

I threw the cell on the couch I stood on and kept dusting off. I swore at myself for letting it get this dirty, and then for having so many shelves, but they looked great.

A minute passed, and I moved on to the guest room, his old room. It was the hardest, 'cause it still smelled slightly like him. I stood for a moment, for the first time remembering without pain. Well, it did hurt, but it had nothing on the first week after he left. I smiled and started dusting off the dark desk, the place that looked the most dusty. I passed on to the bed, straightening out the crumbled sheets. No one knew, but I still slept in his bed. It made me feel just a tiny bit closer to him. Then I heard the door go and the lock click.

"Hey Rose, I'm in here," I called. When she didn't answer, I paused, rested a hand on my stomach involuntarily. A rustle alerted me of someone taking their jacket off. I went to the doorway. "Rose?"

I gasped loudly and grabbed the doorway behind me to stop me from falling. Stars clouded my eyes for a second, but cleared away. One hand flew up to cover my open mouth, and I felt the hot tears that suddenly started falling. My hands shook as I took a single step forward.

"Alice."

His whisper was tortured, his eyes swimming with tears just as mine. He held out a hand towards me, but didn't try to come closer. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, but he was still there when I opened them again. I slowly let the hand in front of my mouth fall down.

"It's you. It's you," I sobbed, taking two steps towards him. He stretched his hand farther, trying to reach me without moving his feet. He was afraid. I lifted my hand and reached out to touch his fingers. The warmth zinged through my veins as they met. "It's really you," I whispered and threw myself at him.

He closed his arms around me, pressing me so tight against him it almost hurt. My fingers were in his hair as he lifted me off the floor, knotting the silky strands. His face was hidden in the crook of my neck, and I felt the wetness of his tears. I wrapped my legs abound his waist, squeezing me as close as possible.

I'd forgotten how good his hard body felt against mine. I'd forgotten how safe he made me feel, how loved I felt in his arms. I nuzzled my nose to his ear, whispering his name over and over. He kissed my neck once and pulled back to look at me.

"I love you," he whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine. I smiled through my tears.

"I love you too," I said and butted my nose with his. He smiled.

"Can you forgive me?" he asked and pulled away to look me in the eyes. I was silent, just enjoying the sky blue colour of his eyes for a second.

"I know why you did it. And I've already forgiven you," I whispered and brushed a hand along his cheekbone. A blinding smile reached across his face before he leaned in and kissed me. I responded at once, smiling in the kiss. Our lips moved like they always had, completely in sync but with a softness there hadn't been before. His tongue was warm against mine, and my fingertips tingled.

I don't know how long we stood there in the hallway, just kissing each other. When we finally parted, our eyes were dry and our lips smiling. We whispered our words of love again, and I took him to the sofa to snuggle up. He laid down, spooning my small body and pressing small windy kisses on my neck. I giggled and dug out the cell I dropped there earlier. I called Rose.

"Rose," I sighed when she finally picked up. I could hear the others in the background, discussing wildly. Rosalie hushed them.

"Alice, I'm glad to hear from you. Did you like, um, my present?" she said, and I could easily hear the grin in her voice. Someone protested.

"Tell Edward to shut up. It was the best present ever, and I mean _ever_! Everything is going to be fine now," I laughed, but halted in worry. "I just don't hope that..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"They already know," Jasper whispered in my ear, squeezing me at the same time as Rosalie spoke.

"We know about L.A., babe. He told me when we met there, and he said I should tell the others, and I did. Edward's not happy, but he never is -" a faint yell was heard, "- Bella is just a little shocked, Emmett thinks it's cool, of course. I'm okay with it. He showed me some paperworks back in L.A., and we have enough evidence to blackmail his gang to keep them away, hopefully. We're going to talk a lot more about this, but I'll just let you two... celebrate the news," she ended, giggling.

"Do the others know that as well?" I asked fearfully. I knew Edward would go berserk if he knew.

I heard somebody yell and another one arguing back, but the phone was given to Emmett.

"Congrats, baby sis! I cant believe you're going to be a parent," he yelled, and I pulled away from Jasper to prevent him from overhearing it.

"Yeah, I'm happy too. There's no doubt in you're going to be a favourite," I smiled, my eyes pricking slightly. They just accepted it.

"Oh man, I can't wait. Do I really have to wait nine months?" he whined, not even letting me answer as he continued, "Have you told Jasper yet?"

"No," I laughed at his enthusiasm, "I was going to, but I just wanted to say thanks to Rose. I better do it soon, though. Actually, I'll do it now, okay? I'll see you... soon."

"I'll see you when you're finished fucking your brains out in a couple of days time," he guffawed, and Edward yelled again, but was cut off as Emmett hung up. I giggled as I put the cell on the coffee table and turned to snuggle close against Jazz again.

"What was all that about?" he asked into my hair. It tickled.

"Emmett," was all I said, and Jazz understood.

We were silent for a couple of minutes, just enjoying the feel of each other. Jasper started kissing my neck softly, brushing his lips up and down, occasionally stopping to nip lightly at my skin. My sigh was really more of a moan. The fire I had only felt once before in my life started to resurface, and concentrated on my lower stomach, a wonderful ache smouldering just below the skin. His hands rubbed my skin, burning hand prints into my skin and mind. I reached behind my own head and knotted my fingers in his curls and tugged lightly as one of his hands crawled up under my shirt and the other played with the elastic of my leggings. I wiggled my ass against him, and he groaned into my neck.

Slowly and wonderfully, he brought me to the brink of the world with his hands and lips, all the way to the place of stars and rainbows. It left me breathless, my legs weak and wobbly as I turned to face him and kissed him hard on the mouth. He responded immediately, turning us over so I was on top. He was hard against my core, and I gently bit his lower lip, making him jerk his hips up towards me and groan. I smiled and kissed trails down his neck and up again, enjoying his rasping breath. His hands squeezed my butt, drawing me closer to his hardness. I kissed his earlobe.

"I want you," he said, his voice rough and sexy, "I missed you so much." I looked into his eyes, darkened with raw desire, and smiled.

"I missed you too," I whispered, and he smiled back at me. The air around us hummed in anticipation as I sat up and wiggled out of my leggings. He hurriedly pulled down his pants. I dragged a finger through my folds and moaned at the sensitivity, grabbing him hard with both hands. He swore.

"I want you in the bed," he panted into my ear. I gasped and moaned as his hands caressed my sides, picking me up as he stood. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled off my shirt and bra as he stumbled into the bedroom. He turned just before he fell onto the bed, making me land on top again. I pushed his shirt off, and ran my hands across his naked chest, the white lines like a well-known, but long forgotten map. I heard the clang of his belt buckle as it hit the floor too.

I kissed him again, lifting myself above him. I could feel the warmth of him right beneath me, and he groaned into my kiss. I lowered myself an inch, moaning as he pressed against me.

"Alice," Jasper panted, and I looked at him. His eyes shone but fluttered closed like mine when I pressed myself down onto him. His hips jerked when I stopped halfway down panting in pleasure, and his hands brushed down my body, from my shoulders to my breasts, down my stomach, round and up my back again, leaving hot trails of fire. His hands ended at my butt, and he opened his eyes to look at me before he suddenly simultaneously pressed his hands hard against my butt and lifted his hips to meet mine. My arms trembled, eyes rolling back into my head as a small scream tore it's way through my throat. My back arched, pulling me away from him. He followed be sitting up, still inside me, curling his arms tightly around me. I wrapped my legs around him as well as my arms, trembling as he began kissing my neck again, brushing his hands up and down my back. Tightening my legs around him, I started to move slightly, moaning loudly at the extreme pleasure in this close position. His breathing hitched and he moved to kiss me on the lips, his tongue caressing mine with fire. He was everywhere, and the feeling of him made the brink of the world come closer again. I bit his lip again and his hips jerked, spilling himself inside me with a long groan. The warmth of him spreading inside me was enough to push me off the edge myself. I writhed for a moment, kept in place by Jasper's arms. When I finally calmed down, we just sat for a while.

"I'm sorry I left," Jasper suddenly said, the rumble of his voice in his chest soothing. His eyes were broken. "I just didn't want them to -"

"Shh," I hushed him and put a finger to his swollen lips, "It's okay. We didn't die, we still love each other, and we're going to be -" I stopped myself and quickly continued, "- happy," I smiled, hoping he didn't notice my slight hesitation. But he did

He looked at me with mock suspicion, squeezing his eyes halfway closed and raised an eyebrow. "I didn't live through those years in L.A. without learning anything. I can see there's something you're not telling me," he said, a smile faint on his lips. I looked down and pulled away. My arms felt empty and cold without him. I stood up at the edge of the bed and turned my back on him, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Hey-hey, I'm sorry. What's wrong, Alice?" he said softly, moving to stand beside me, putting his hands on my shoulders. I leaned back into his warm chest.

"No, you shouldn't be sorry, I should. It's my fault," I whispered and hid my face in my hands. He slid his hands down my arms and around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Well, unless somebody, especially you, are dying, I think we can handle it," he said and pressed a kiss to the side of my face. I gave him a kiss as well and turned to look him in the eyes.

"Jasper, I -" I started.

"Wait. Before whatever it is, I want to say something," he smiled, brushing his hand against my cheek. "I love you. I will always love you. And I hope that someday, when I get my shit together and get down on one knee, you'll say yes."

I looked at him with huge eyes and mouth agape. I seriously doubt I would still be standing if he hadn't been holding me up. For a short second, an overwhelming happiness filled me with so much joy I nearly cried, but the tears began rolling for another reason.

"Jasper, I'm pregnant," I whispered, trying to keep eye contact, but failed. I looked down, hiding my eyes.

"Who did you sleep with? It was before I came to New York, right?" he asked flatly, but didn't let go. I sniffed.

"I'm three weeks along," I mumbled into his chest. One of his fingertips traced small circles on my back.

"But that's... when we..." he said but turned silent. Then he pushed me back a little. "It's mine?"

I looked up into his eyes. I could only see urgency in his eyes. "Yes. Yes, it's yours."

"How can you be sure?" he asked, still with that urgent but hopeful look in his eyes. He probably hoped I wasn't sure and it wasn't his.

"I haven't been with anyone without protection before you. I kind of forgot the pills after you came to New York," I said, hating to be the one to spoil it for him. He probably thought he could come here and we could be happy, all alone, and then I threw this bomb. "I just... I just can't kill it," I whispered and a new flow of tears ran down my face.

"So it's mine? I'm going to be a father?" he said incredulously. I nodded silently, but squeaked as he lifted me into the air.

"I'm going to be a dad!" he laughed, happiness pouring from every pore of his skin. He twirled me around twice before the sickness made itself known.

"Jazz," I warned him, but giggled. He stopped but didn't put me down.

"Oh, do you feel sick? I'm sorry," he said with a giant smile and then suddenly kissed me. I kissed him back with all my might. Just as suddenly as he started kissing me, he stopped again.

"You are really going to have a baby, and I am really the father?" he asked me again, looking me in the eyes with sudden seriousness. I smiled at him.

"Yes, I'm going to have a baby, and yes, you are the father," I told him again, only this time, it was tears of joy covering my cheeks. He smiled, his eyes turning watery as well.

"I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you!" he whispered and kissed me. I giggled into his lips, his hands tickling my sides.

That night, we made love until we both were too exhausted to say anything else that 'I love you'-s.

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** - - - - - - - - - I M P O R T A N T! - - - - - - - - - - **

**I am very happy to tell you that I've been thinking about a sequel, but I need your opinion. It's going to be mainly about Alice and Jasper's kid (not sure about the gender yet!). Would you read it? Tell me in a REVIEW!  
**

**A/N: ****All the other stuff:  
**

** I'm sorry, darlings. You have waited wayyy too long, and it is my fault. I know I kind of promised a chapter before 2010 ended, or in the start of 2011, but RL just went skywards. My granddad started chemotherapy again after a year's pause. I had exams in school, and then I started in a new class (we have all our lessons with the same people). I was a part of the musical of the school, which took a lot of my time, and you probably don't care one tiny bit about this, 'cause you just want to read! I know the feeling, I'm a reader myself, and I hate myself for letting you sit with such a cliff hanger like the last chapter. And it wasn't just one, it was two!**

**On with it.**

**Only one came close to who really came to see Jasper! Well done, Stacie. *pats self on shoulder*  
**


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